大约在一九八七年起，台湾政府对于校园实施了一连串的开放政策；以往对于学生管理相当的严格，禁止留长发，禁止男女在校园中交往，也不准去舞厅跳舞。开放之后，常常看到校园里成双成对的情侣，一到假日就和同学结伴去舞厅跳舞，通宵达旦。就在舞厅里，我认识了事件中的女主角，交往了一段时间之后，她怀孕了，而她最直接的决定是──堕胎。当时只觉得这样似乎不好，也曾反对过，但最后仍敌不过女朋友的坚持，陪伴着她去医院。短短的半小时，一条生命就这样消失了。过程中，我心如刀割痛苦万分，心里对这条生命有着万分的愧疚。这是发生在一九八九年四月的事，我没想到我还是个学生，二十岁不到，但我已荒唐地将一条生命带来人世，又无知地剥夺他生存的权利！

From around 1987, the Taiwanese government started implementing a series of more permissive policies on campus. Before that, the regulations governing the students were quite strict. For examples, there were rules prohibiting students from growing their hair long, forbidding male and female students from having relationships on campus, and preventing students from going to dance halls. After the more permissive policies came into effect, couples could frequently be seen on campus, and during school holidays, students would go dancing with their friends all night long. It was in a dance hall that I met the main female lead in this story. After dating for a while, she got pregnant and she decided right away to have an abortion. Somehow, I felt getting an abortion wasn’t right, and I even voiced my opposition. However, at my girlfriend’s insistence, I finally gave up and accompanied her to a hospital. In merely half an hour, a life was terminated. While I was waiting for my girlfriend, I felt as if a knife were piercing my heart and I was in such agony. I felt terribly ashamed and guilty about the lost life. All this happened in April of 1989; I couldn’t believe that as a student less than twenty years old, I did a terrible thing and brought a life into the world, then ignorantly deprived him of the right to live!

约在结束后第六天晚上，我梦到一个小男孩手上拿着一把刀，恶狠狠地瞪着我；突然间，他用手上的刀挥向我的脖子，在我的脖子上留下了一道很深的伤口。梦中的我手捂着脖子痛醒，我心里明白这应该是那位被拿掉的孩子来报仇吧！从此以后，我常在凌晨四点胃痛痛醒，脾气越来越暴躁，身体越来越糟，甚至常常想动手打我的女朋友。当时，我不明白我的身体和心性怎么会这样；直到皈依宣公上人后，听到上人的开示，才知道“堕胎”的可怕。我尽力忏悔，拜佛、诵经咒，修诸功德，只希望那位“孩子”能原谅我。

It was about the sixth night after the abortion that I dreamed about a little boy. He stared at me fiercely, with a knife in his hand. Suddenly, he thrust the knife at my neck, leaving a very deep cut. In the dream, I covered my neck with my hand, and I woke up from the pain. I knew in my heart that it was the aborted child who came for revenge! From then on, I often woke up from stomach-aches around four o'clock in the morning, and my health started to decline. I also got more and more irritable to the point that I frequently wanted to hit my girlfriend. At that time, I didn’t understand why my body and mind became like that. It was not until I took refuge with the Venerable Master Hua that I realized how terrible abortion was. I tried my best to repent and reform, bow to the Buddhas, recite Sutras and Mantras, and cultivate various merits and virtues. I only hope that “the child” would forgive me.

十年之后果报终于发生了，医生在我梦中留下伤口的位置发现了癌症，一颗四公分大的恶性肿瘤，在手术之后虽然看似痊愈了，但我仍努力地修行回向，希望能弥补自己曾经犯下的大错。

My retribution came ten years – I was diagnosed with cancer. The doctors found a malignant tumor about four centimeters in my neck, the place where the child wounded me in my dream. Although I seemed to be cured after the operation, I continue to cultivate diligently and transfer the resulting merits to the child, in the hope that I can make up for my big mistake.

当时年少无知，如果学校社会能给我们多一些约束，若是没开放舞禁，若是在我们年轻时有多一些道德教育；若是我和女朋友之间能守好礼教，不管男女，只要有一方坚持守身，错误就不会发生了。

At the time of the abortion, we were young and ignorant. We would not have made such a mistake if the society and schools held us to stricter standards, the prohibition on dancing was not lifted, we had more education on morality, or my girlfriend and I acted with propriety. In fact, in a couple, it doesn’t matter whether it’s the man or the woman who acts with propriety. Only one of them needs to insist on maintaining purity and a mistake would be prevented. 

我将自己的经验说出来，希望能提醒大家守好婚前的道德，不要犯下邪淫与杀生的罪业；更希望藉此勉励年轻人，练习克制自己的欲望。在读书时多放些心思在课业上，把师长的告诫放在心中。有时，我们觉得那是老生常谈而不以为意，总觉自己可以处理得很好；其实，一旦铸成大错，就难以挽回了。不要像我，一辈子都带着这份愧疚，扔都扔不掉！

By sharing my experience, I wish to remind everyone to follow the moral standards on premarital relationship, and don’t commit the karmic offenses of sexual misconduct and killing. More importantly, I wish to encourage young people to learn how to control their desires, concentrate on their studies, and be mindful of the admonitions from their teachers and elders. Sometimes we think those admonitions are old wives’ tales and ignore them, feeling that we can manage everything just fine. Actually, once a big mistake has been made, it is very difficult to correct. Don’t become someone like me, who carries an unshakeable sense of shame and guilt for the rest of his life. 

我们的人生还有很多路要走，欲望冲动时，要先冷静。别以为堕胎只是女方一个人的错，男方一样要负起责任，一样会有果报的。希望──真心的希望，大家一起共同努力，给年轻人更多的教育与帮助，也希望年轻人赶快从迷梦中醒悟，让错误不再发生！

We still have a long way to go on our life’s journey. Therefore, we should stay calm when sudden urges arise. Don't think abortion is a mistake that only a woman can make. A man is also responsible and will experience the retribution as well. I sincerely wish that all of us will work together to provide more education and assistance to young people. I also wish that young people will quickly wake up from their confused dreams, and not let the mistake happen again!