几年前，学姐迷上算命，到处打听“很准”的算命师，到处算命乐此不疲，路途再远、排队再久也要去“ 问一下”。那几年，我对生活和工作，甚至是对自己都不满意，也希望能有高人指点，给条新的路，让我能好地发挥所长；学姐则是一心一意想要嫁个有钱的好老公。因此，只要她听到哪里有什么人很厉害，就会请假要我陪她去。

Several years ago, a friend ahead of me in school was crazy about getting her fortune told. She looked for fortune tellers who were “very accurate,” and enjoyed listening to predictions about her life so much that she never got tired, regardless of how far she had to go or how long she had to wait in line. At that time, I was not satisfied with my life, my job and even with myself. So I hoped to meet a “superior person” who could direct me onto a new path, where I can fully develop and use my skills. My friend was wishing wholeheartedly to marry a wealthy man, so as soon as she heard about someone whose predictions were accurate, she would take a break from work and asked me to go with her.

最后一次跟她去算命，是去一个只要有你的名字和生肖，就可以把你过去的一切，如数家珍说给你听的“怪怪的阿姨”。听说有一个同学去找她，因为不信她的话，她就把同学家附近的样子形容给她听，吓得她点头如捣蒜。我觉得很有意思，所以学姐一提，我也很乐意陪着去。其实这些算命师，不知道为什么，都不太回答我的问题，我问什么，他们都说“你没问题”，然后就不理我；说真的很浪费钱和时间。相反的，每次学姐都问到我打瞌睡，而轮到我却都是三两句就结束。

The last time I went with my friend for fortune telling, we visited a fortune-teller who looked really strange. As long as you gave her your name and zodiac sign, she was able to tell you about your past in great detail. I heard that one of my schoolmates visited this fortune teller. When my schoolmate didn’t believe her, she described the surroundings of the schoolmate's home, and scared the schoolmate into nodding nonstop at whatever she said. I thought this story was quite interesting, therefore when my friend mentioned her wish to visit this fortune teller, I was very happy to go with her. Actually, I still don’t know why none of the fortune tellers we visited really answered my questions. No matter what I asked, they all replied, “You don’t have any problems,” then ignored me. To be honest, these visits were really a waste of time and money. In contrast, every time we went to a fortune teller, my friend kept on asking questions until I fell asleep. However, when it was my turn, the fortune telling consisted of only two or three sentences.

这次和往常一样，我被“你很好，没问题”就打发掉。跟着学姐就开始问东问西：现在的男友好吗？会不会花？会不会赚钱？赚钱会不会给她用？几时会娶她……哇啦哇啦，听得我好想睡。突然……那个算命阿姨叫她不要再问男朋友的事，她有事想问学姐，她说：“跟在你后面那三个是什么？”我的天哪，睡意全没了，她问那是什么啊！！！

In this last visit, just like other visits to fortune tellers, I was dismissed by “You are fine, you don’t have any problems.” Then my friend started to ask all sorts of questions about her boyfriend, such as whether her boyfriend is good, whether he is faithful, whether he can earn a lot of money, whether he will let her use the money, when will he marry her . . . blah, blah, blah. I felt so sleepy just listening to her questions. Suddenly, the fortune teller told my friend to stop because she had something to ask my friend. She said, “Who are those three following you?” Good Heavens, what kind of question was that?! In an instant, my sleepiness was all gone. 

我在桌下撞学姐的脚，她示意要我安静；气氛突然很紧张，算命阿姨站起来拿了张黄色的纸，不知道在写什么。学姐哭了起来，她问是男孩还是女孩？他们想干嘛？会害她吗？我突然听懂了，啊，是婴灵！学姐拿过……三次！！！后来那个阿姨还说了什么我全忘了，只记得学姐一直哭。那个阿姨要我们去烧金纸，然后到楼上拜观世音菩萨。

I bumped my friend’s leg under the table, but she signaled me to be quiet. The atmosphere in the room was suddenly very tense. The fortune teller stood up to fetch a piece of yellow paper, and wrote something on it that I couldn’t read. My friend started to cry, and asked whether they were boys or girls, what did they want, and whether they would hurt her? I suddenly understood -- the “they” being referred to were infant spirits! This would mean my friend had an abortion . . . three times!!! I totally forgot what the fortune-teller said after that. I just remembered that my friend kept on crying, and the fortune teller instructing us to burn paper money (as “offerings” to the infant spirits) and to bow to Guan Shr Yin Bodhisattva.

后来，我再也没跟着学姐去算命，但我知道她偶尔还是会偷偷去。我知道她做了好多次超度，她也要我帮忙去问如何“供养婴灵”的事。我想到她曾跟我说过“住外面会害怕，偶而会看到很像小孩的‘东西’躲在桌下，跟她玩抓迷藏。”我记得我跟她说，可能是房子的问题，要她试着念佛……原来……事情另有隐情。

After this experience, I never went with my friend for fortune telling again, but she continued to go occasionally. I knew that she sponsored ways to cross over the infant spirits many times, and she also asked me to help her by finding out how to “make offerings” to infant spirits. It occurred to me that she had told me: “When I lived off-campus I was scared. Sometimes I could see ‘something’ resembling a child under my desk and played hide-and-seek with me.” I remembered telling her that there probably was something wrong with her apartment, and told her to recite the Buddha’s name. As it turned out, she had secrets that I didn’t know. 

这几天，法师问我，能不能画画插图，道场要出一本和“堕胎”有关的书。当我读法师传来的文章时，整个人紧绷，脑冲血的感觉一直不能退；我必须坦诚，我一定劝过有类似问题的朋友：“如果真的不行，就拿掉也比较好。”“你也不是故意的，不会有问题。”

A few days ago, a Dharma Master asked me whether I could draw some illustrations for a book about abortion that DRBA plans to publish. When I was reading the manuscript that the Dharma Master sent me, I felt tense all over and my blood was rushing to my head. I couldn’t shake this feeling for a long time. I have to be honest. I was having such a reaction because I have given some pregnant friends advice such as “If there is no other way, you are better off with an abortion,” and “You didn’t do this on purpose, so everything will be all right.”

我读了宣公上人的开示和法师们对“堕胎”的说法，我真的害怕了！是一条命，那是一条命！因为一时的欢乐或气氛带来的一个生命，却因为不在预期中，或想省麻烦或其他的原因，就被带来又夺去。我想大哭，我说错话了！我怎么可以是非不分地劝说朋友，让她们放心，而一再又再地犯这个滔天大罪？读完法师传给我的内容，我努力冷静想要快点画点东西出来，因为法师们在等。我边画边抖，真的好怕！如果我早点学佛，如果我有心认真跟随上人学佛，我不会变成堕胎的帮凶；我的朋友、学姐也能早点知错、认错，诚心求忏悔。我知道她们虽然不曾说过，但其实非常地后悔，经常都挂着自己做过的事，到处打听哪有高人能帮忙超度；这个懊悔将跟着一辈子，永生不忘。

After I read the Venerable Master Hua's Dharma talks and what other Dharma Masters said about abortion, I was really frightened. I realized that a fetus is a life, it really is a life! A life that was brought into this world due to momentary pleasure, and then the very same life was extinguished because the pregnancy was unplanned, or having a child would cause problems, or for some other reasons. I wanted to weep, because I had said the wrong things to my friends! How could I have advised my friends without distinguishing between right and wrong, and told them not to worry so they could commit such terrible offenses again and again? After finishing reading the manuscript of this book, I tried very hard to compose myself. I wished to come up with some drawings quickly, because the Dharma Masters are waiting for them. I was trembling as I drew, because what I did really scared me. If I had learned the Buddhadharma earlier, if I had sincerely and diligently studied the Buddhadharma with the Venerable Master, I would not have become an accomplice to an abortion. In addition, my friend ahead of me in school and my other friends would have realized and admitted to their mistakes earlier, and repent and reform with sincerity. Although none of my friends have said so, I know they really regret having their abortions. What they did seemed to be always on their minds, for they keep on searching for “superior people” who can help them to cross over the spirits of their aborted children. An unforgettable sense of remorse follows them for the rest of their lives.

学姐去年结婚了，也生小孩了，但因为工作的关系，我没去看过她，也没见过小婴孩。她跟我说小孩很难带，晚上哭不停，一定要抱着睡，不能躺。她不得不辞去工作在家带小孩，整个人精疲力尽，白天几乎都不能休息，晚上也不能睡，快没力气了。我不知道小孩难带，半夜乱哭，和她之前做过的事有没有关系。但我很希望这本书，我能亲手交给她，我要和她一起求忏悔，好好地重新审视自己面对生命的态度。虽然是母腹里的一块肉，但那是一条命，不能随心所欲，不能当玩笑，不能随意带来，又随意夺走的一条命！

My friend ahead of me in school got married last year, and she had a baby. I haven't visited her and met her baby due to my work schedule. Over the phone, she told me it was really difficult to take care of her baby, because he kept on crying in the evenings and he had to be held in order to fall asleep and stay asleep. She had no choice but to resign from her job so she could take care of her baby. Since she barely had time to rest during the day and couldn’t sleep at night due to the baby, she was so exhausted that she was at the verge of collapse. I don't know whether these difficulties with her baby, who cries through the night, have anything to do with her past. However, I hope I can give her this book in person, so she and I can repent together and re-examine our attitude toward a life. Although a fetus may be just a piece of flesh in a mother’s womb, it is a life; a life that can’t be treated lightly or as we wish, a life that can’t be brought into being or be terminated as we please!