In speaking of the doctrine of Confucius, Zeng Zi said, "The doctrine of our teacher is simply loyalty and forgiveness." Loyalty means to do one's best. We must finish whatever we start. It also means having a cautious and respectful attitude, and an attitude of fairness and equality. Forgiveness means not doing to others what you wouldn't want done to yourself. This is an attitude of considering others' feelings, and is therefore great compassion. To have these good virtues, one must start developing them at home when one is young.
For example, running errands for our elders can train us to be cautious and respectful in handling business. Why? Our elders must have urgent business to take care of when they call for someone. "When there's a task to be done, we as disciples should help out," so of course we must go and find the person they want to see. If the person we are looking for cannot be found and we don't go back to report to our elders, they will be there waiting and will be very worried. Wouldn't that be irresponsible on our part? So we must finish the errand completely. Not only should we go back to tell our elders that we can't find the person, we must ask further if they have anything else we can do. This kind of careful respect will help us to develop a sense of responsibility. A responsible person will not handle matters as if he didn't care, nor will he start out with big plans but end up doing very little. He is someone who can take on heavy responsibilities. This is the spirit of loyalty. Do not think that running errands for people is a petty chore; great virtues all begin with the practice of small deeds.
Not calling elders by their first name is
also a sign of cautiousness and respect. Children nowadays not
only call their elder brothers and sisters by their first names,
but also call their parents and elders by name. Some people
defend this trend, saying that it lessens the distance between
people, but in actuality it is opening the door to there being
no distinction between elders and children. What is the result
of all this? Children will become too familiar with their
parents when they are little, and will not know to respect their
parents. When children reach their pre-teens, if the parents do
not fulfill their wishes, they will feel that their parents
don't care about them anymore. When they grow up they will rebel
and become unfilial children. Therefore when children are young,
if the parents do not require them to respect their elder
brothers and sisters, and merely think they are kidding and are
cute when they speak and act with bad manners, later on the
parents will experience anger.
Why shouldn't we exceedingly show off
ourselves in front of the elders? There is a saying which reads,
"One should only reveal 30% of himself", and another
which reads, "It is not the one that hides the treasure who
is to be blamed, but the treasure that is hidden by him that is
to be blamed." We will cause less jealousy if we do not
show off ourselves. It is not only to protect ourselves, but
also to show compassion towards others. Just imagine, if someone
tries to boast about himself regarding things that we are unable
to do, we will we feel intimidated or embarrassed. From these
small gestures, we can start to nurture a compassionate mind and
learn to be considerate of others. This is
"forgiveness."
