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In recent few months, I have received phone calls from my two old
schoolmates, and they both happened to inform me that their
younger brother and younger sister had committed suicide. Upon
hearing such news, my heart was broken, and I felt very sorry for
their losses of precious lives. From newspapers and other media
reporting, we know that the number of cases of suicide has been
increasing. At times, when I read or hear about such news, I would
ask myself why such things happen, and feel deeply sorry and sad.
When my old schoolmates' brother and sister had lost their lives
through suicide, I empathized with their pain, and was at a loss
to offer them the appropriate words to express my sympathy.
When one contemplates of committing suicide, one must believe that
one has reached a hopeless situation, or that one has come across
a problem which cannot be solved. Is there any problem in the
world which cannot be solved? When one wants to commit suicide,
does one need courage to do so? After death, is the problem really
got solved? When one commits suicide and dies, does it mean that
one's life is really finished? These few questions must be
seriously considered. By going through a serious contemplation of
these few questions, one may alleviate some internal conflicts and
become courageous in accepting and overcoming challenges in life,
rather than setting out to commit suicide.
From the Buddha's teaching of “Dependent Arising Conditions”, we
know that everything in the universe exists because of all
necessary conditions for their existence come together. When
different kinds of problems in our lives appear, this is because
all necessary conditions for their existence come together. The
problem can be unsatisfactory test results, or poor working
conditions, or discrimination or rejection, or a dead-end job, or
poor health, or chronic diseases which cause one to become worried
and anxious about the future.
It is a hard reality that most of the times we encounter
undesirable events in our lives, therefore for whichever problems
we encounter, they are not different from others'. We must never
think that we are the most unfortunate ones to encounter such
problem or bound by such affliction, and get attached and focus
our attention completely on our misfortunes. In this way, we
enlarge the problem and can become overwhelmed.
We must truly understand the fact that each person's affliction
resulting from different problem is more or less the same. We can
seek help from people with experience or any advice on how to deal
with it. If we can consider all aspects and possibilities of
consequences, and implement appropriate remedies, we can help
remove certain causes and conditions leading to the formation of
the problem, and gradually the problem can be solved. For example,
when one is diagnosed to have cancer, one can immediately consult
the doctor, family, relatives and friends on different treatments
for alleviating pain and get cured. If the problem is
unsatisfactory examination results, one can consult the teacher or
classmates on the effective way of studying, and work hard at it;
there will be a day one can attain satisfactory results.
Alternatively the problem may be one has lost one's job, in this
case one can inform relatives and friends, and request for their
help in finding another appropriate job.
Sometimes the problem is not as serious as one may think, but
because we do not consult others, we get attached and focus our
attention completely on our misfortunes and conclude that there is
no solution other than to commit suicide. There is a well-known
Chinese saying, “Three ordinary folks' minds make up the brilliant
mind of Zhu Quo Liang (a famous wise man in ancient China).” When
we consult with others, sometimes it may not necessarily result in
solving the problem, but it can help us untie the knots in our
minds, and eliminate our internal affliction, which is worth
doing.
We have to continuously face with different obstacles when we grow
up. If everything is smooth and desirable, our minds will not
mature. Therefore when obstacles arise, we must not get panic. We
must know that other people also face with the same problems in
their lives, and recognize that this is part of life in growing up
and problems can make our lives more challenging. This way, we can
be brave and don't get panic, and naturally we can have the
courage to accept the obstacles, and overcome them.
Even though sometimes we may not be able to solve the problem,
still we should not feel depressed. Throughout history there are
many great men who had encountered numerous failures before they
became successful. When we fail, we must reflect upon the reasons
for our failure, and we should not regard it as permanent failure.
Since failure is the mother of success, when failure comes after
failure, as long as we can learn from our failure and persist, we
will definitely succeed in the end.
( to be continued... ) |
