|
我們感到，來到學校所在的道場萬佛聖城居住，必須清楚來的原因。如果不清楚，就不一定能受到道場所提供的許多好處。
我們是二○○四年十月由賓州搬到萬佛聖城的。我們的兩個兒子，元元和米蓋爾，今年七歲和五歲，在育良男校就讀。我和先生都在學校任教。但是這所我們四個人每天一起度過的學校，並不是我們搬來住的最終原因。
當仍在賓州的州立大學時，就在米蓋爾出生後不久，我們開始為孩子們尋找一個合適的學校。萬佛城的學校提供素餐、優美的自然環境、中文課、中國文化和打坐課，成為吸引我們到這裏的主因。學校規模小，安全又純淨。在男校一間幼稚園至二年級的教室裡，雖然只有五個學生，卻配備了三名教師。
隨著我們對萬佛聖城的認識──我是從閱讀羅候羅法師的《佛陀的啟示》開始的──佛教成為我們生活的一部份。佛陀教導我們，所有的痛苦、恐懼及仇恨都來自於欲望，只有袪除欲望，才可以使我們脫離不幸。這些教導讓心靈得到安慰。在賓州大學，我們加入了當地的佛學社，每週六與佛友們聚會。我們從來也沒有過這麼多朋友，朋友之間的談話也不再無聊。兩個孩子參加所有的活動──聽講法、打坐，或為道場做義工服務等等。而現在我們住在萬佛聖城，每天可以見到我們的朋友，每天可以參加禮佛、拜懺、誦經──還有什麼比這樣的環境更有益於孩子的身心成長呢？
後來離開了賓州州立大學，在西班牙度假兩個月後即將赴美時，我猶豫了。我問孩子們，是不是應該就住在西班牙，還是去萬佛聖城住。米蓋爾想也不想就說要去萬佛聖城。
「為什麼？你不喜歡這裏的海灘嗎？」「可是我們好久沒見到佛了。」我們就又按計畫從地中海岸飛到太平洋岸。
是的，應該是為了佛──遵照佛的教導，與善人結友。按照南傳佛教記載，佛曾經對阿難尊者說，與善人結友、行善事是出家修行的意義所在。後來我又從《阿彌陀經》上了解到，往生極樂國的原因之一就是「得與諸上善人俱會一處。」
只有常常記得來道場居住的初衷，我們才可以突破面對的困難。對於一個長期居住在道場的居士家庭來說，那種從遠處看學校的幻想，很快就被現實生活的困難給沖淡了。住在一個社區組織中猶如處在一個大家庭裡，剛開始的那點熱情很快就會被自己的誤解和失望所取代，也許還要面對收入短缺的困擾。但是如果能夠記得我們的目標──結束痛苦和不幸──我們也許會更積極地解決困難，也才會將注意力積極地轉向在道場生活美好的一面。
我們真的是看到很多好的方面。我們喜歡教學生少的班，比教一個大班，我們可以更近一步進入孩子的世界。工作也相當令人滿意──實際上我們從學生那兒學的比他們從我們這兒學的還多。我感到跟學生們在一起時總得專心。他們使我們更有耐心，更靈活及誠懇。
我們的兩個兒子也都很能接受佛陀的教導。他們愛聽佛的故事，也很領會其中的意義。佛陀及他的弟子成了兩個孩子心目中的英雄。他們學會了誦咒和盤腿打坐。
這裡我用米蓋爾的一個小故事來結束本文。一天，他翻一本佛的畫冊，緩緩地問我道：「媽媽，現在還有佛吧！」「對呀！」我說道。
「也許近梵法師就是佛。」「也許英文老師也是佛。」他又說道。「也許吧！你喜歡他們，是吧？」我有點吃驚，但不露聲色地問他。
「他們講故事給我聽。」他笑了，「但是英文老師（她已在聖城出家了）現在不來了。」然後他看著我笑出聲來，「媽媽，我知道你就不是佛。」「為什麼呢？」
「因為你老對我發脾氣。」
|
|
We have learned that one has to be clear about the reason for coming to a live in a monastic environment such as the City of Ten Thousand Buddhas (CTTB). If the reason is not clearly understood, one may not benefit from what a monastery can offer.
We moved from Pennsylvania to live in the CTTB in October 2004. Our sons Alejandro and Miguel, now 7 and 5, are currently enrolled in the Boys School. My husband and I both teach at the schools. But the wonderful school where all four of us spend the day was not the ultimate reason that had made us come and stay.
While we were living in State College, Pennsylvania, shortly after Miguel was born, we started looking for a school for our sons. We were attracted by the vegetarian lunches, by the school’s beautiful natural setting, classes in Chinese language and culture and meditation which Instilling Goodness, Developing Virtue Boys Schools offered. The school is small, safe, and pure. In an elementary classroom of Kindergarten through second grade, there could be just five students and a staff of three dedicated teachers.
As we learned more about Buddhism, which for me started with the little book by Ven. Rahula—What the Buddha Taught, we started make it our way of living. The Buddha teaches us that all suffering and pain, fear and hatred, come from desire, and it is freedom from desire that frees us from sorrow. These teachings bring peace to the heart. While still in State College, we joined a local Buddhist study group and met with fellow Buddhists every Saturday. We started to have more friends than we had ever had. Conversations were no longer boring. The boys were involved in all the activities—Dharma talks, meditation and volunteer work. Now that we are in CTTB, we get to see our friends almost all the time and can take part in Buddhist ceremonies every day—what else can we ask for in such a conducive environment for the boys?
Then after we left State College, when we were about to leave Spain after a 2-month vacation, I wavered. I asked the boys, should we stay in Spain or go back to CTTB? Miguel, then 3, said without thinking that we should go. “Why?” I asked. “Because it has been a long time since we’ve seen the Buddha.” So we flew from the Mediterranean coast to the Pacific coast, as planned.
Yes, it has to be for the Buddha—to follow the Buddha’s teaching and to associate with noble friends. According to Theravada scripture, once Buddha told Ananda that association with good people, and doing good, is all that the holy life is about. Later I learned from Amitabha Sutra that one of the reasons for desiring to be born in Amitabha’s land is “so one can be with all these noble friends.”
Only through keeping in mind our reason for coming to a monastic environment could we face the tests put to us. A lay family living full-time inside a monastic setting may soon find that what they imagined the experience to be like from a distance, will soon fade from realities in everyday life. Living in a community is similar to living within a large family; misunderstandings and disappointments are likely to follow after initial enthusiasm. A lay family may have to face the sudden income shortage. But if we can remember our purpose, which is to end sorrow, we can become more positive in solving our problems. We may learn to shift our focus to the benefits of living in a monastery.
We have seen a lot of good happen. We both like to teach in small classroom settings where we may get to touch the lives of the children to a greater extent than we would in a large classroom. The job can be very satisfying—we actually have more to learn from our students than they from us. I feel I have to be mindful at all times when I am with my students. They’ve taught us to be patient, flexible and truthful.
Our boys are very receptive to the Buddha’s teachings, too. They love to hear stories about the Buddha and seem to have a keen understanding. Buddha and his noble disciples are their heroes. They’ve learned to chant mantras and meditate in full lotus. Let me close with a little story of Miguel. One day, he looked at me thoughtfully while flipping through a picture book of Buddha:
“Mama, there is still Buddha around, isn’t there?”
“I think so,” I replied, remembering what I’ve read.
“Maybe Dharma Master Jin Fan is a Buddha,” he continued.
“Maybe my English teacher is too.”
“Maybe so. You like them, right?” I said—hiding my surprise.
“They told me stories.” He smiled to himself. “But now the English teacher is not coming anymore. [She became a nun at CTTB.]” Then he looked at me and gave away a big smile:
“Mama, I know you are not a Buddha.”
“Why not?”
“Because you are always mad at me.”
|
