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菩提田

 

BODHI FIELD

不要讓孩子走冤枉路
A Road Less Traveled for a Child

劉德福 文 by Teckhock Lau
劉親智 英譯 English Translated by Qinzhi Lau

「你業障深重!」這是1983年宣公上人到馬來西亞弘法時對我說的話。當時我很不服氣,我自認沒有殺人放火,又不偷不搶,為什麼說我業障深重?

當時我和朋友合夥開了一家直銷公司,是個很競爭、熱門的行業。為了在商場上出人頭地,我卯足了勁,拼命的衝刺,每天忙著交際應酬和客人周旋,吃喝玩樂的場所都成了我的辦公室。公司的業務因而蒸蒸日上,它就像一隻會生金雞蛋的母雞。但有得必有失,雖然事業上給我帶來些財富,然而精神體力卻早已透支過度。

1988年,我到萬佛聖城拜萬佛寶懺,到了山門前,我不願意進去,心裡一直吶喊:「回去吧!回去吧!」掙扎了很久,為了不讓同修失望,我勉強走了進去。

拜懺時,我這一生所做所為,就像演電影似的,一幕幕清清楚楚地在眼前浮現,看得我心驚肉跳,淚水不禁奪眶而出。現在我終於明白,為什麼上人要說我業障深重了。我開始反觀自己,每天追名求利、吃喝玩樂不斷造業,以為這就是人生奮鬥的目標。

在拜懺期間,我注意到在萬佛城求學的孩子,他們的一舉一動都中規中矩。生活在這塊純淨土地上的孩子,都是這麼的天真快樂。我不禁要反問自己:「我要給我的孩子什麼呢?難道也要重蹈我的覆轍嗎?」我想搬到萬佛城長住的種子就這樣萌芽。

可是回到馬來西亞,我還是得過老生活,所謂人在江湖,身不由己,看來我是騎虎難下。我掙扎在既得利益和給孩子一條向善之路的十字路口,舉棋不定。徘徊了六年,終於在1994年下定決心,毅然決然放棄一切,舉家遷居萬佛聖城。

我們開始了新生活,在聖城內做義工,學習佛法,給自己有一個培福培慧的機會。同修除了照顧家庭外,也到男校幫忙行政工作。這時女兒曉慧才六歲,兒子親智四歲,他們都到育良小學讀書,從幼稚園到高中,受聖城一系列的完整教育。

美國其實到處都有誘惑。但是我們住在萬佛城,少了這層顧慮。在這裡的學生,除了因適應不良而離開者外,不用擔心他們會變壞。因為在這個環境裡,人心都是向善,所以每個人都受到潛移默化的薰陶,自然有一股寧靜祥和的氣氛。

孟母三遷是大家耳熟能詳的故事,但是那時候的環境沒有像現在這麼險惡。宣公上人高瞻遠矚,為我們創辦這麼好的環境和學校,讓我們沒有後顧之憂,可以完全信賴的把孩子交給學校。這並不代表學校教育出來的學生都像聖人一樣不犯錯,他們還是凡夫,還會做錯事,但至少在犯錯後,他們知道自己錯在那裡,不會一錯再錯,遺憾終生。

家庭和學校都是教育孩子成長過程中,最重要的環節。為了以身作則,我們不看電視節目,遠離一些暴力色情的染污。兒子每天晚上跟著我到佛殿聽經、寫功課;女兒則跟著媽媽。幾年下來,他們學會了獨立照顧自己,把書讀好,不讓父母操心;並在課餘體諒父母的辛勞,幫忙做家事。

這兩年,女兒上了大學,兒子也即將高中畢業,我們開始感受到經濟上的壓力。正好全家都申請到綠卡,同修找了一份送報的工作,孩子在星期假日都爭著為媽媽分憂解勞。我自己也蠢蠢欲動,想去兼個差,多賺點錢讓孩子上大學,最後還是放棄了這個念頭。

12月1日,小兒接到普林斯頓大學的入學通知,並給他全額獎學金,四年都是完全免費的,我們真是鬆了一口氣。兒子可以到第一流的大學讀書,我們並沒有覺得有什麼可以驕傲的。只期望他記得自己是一個佛教徒,肩負著身為佛教徒的使命,把在萬佛城所受的良好道德教育,到外面去做個好榜樣,影響更多人走上向善之路。

宣公上人常說:「讀書是為了明理,不是為了名利。」我們希望孩子們真真實實地朝這個方向走。我已經虛度了大半輩子的功夫,不希望孩子們再步著我的後塵,走那麼多的冤枉路。想到這裡,不禁為自己在1994年所做的抉擇而慶幸。因為我們對宣公上人有絕對的信心,也相信冥冥中都會有最好的安排。


“You have many heavy offenses!” The Venerable Master told me these words during his visit to Malaysia in 1983. I did not accept those words well – after all, I hadn’t committed any crimes – why would I have heavy offenses?

At that time, I had co-founded a direct-selling business. The market was hot and extremely competitive. I was busy meeting other businessmen and guests in order to stand out from the crowd. The places of merriment almost became my office. Our company’s sales were increasing day by day, as if we had a hen laying golden eggs. But every gain brings a loss, and though the success of our company brought in wealth, my own energy was sapped.

I traveled to the City of Ten Thousand Buddhas (CTTB) for the Ten Thousand Buddhas Jeweled Repentance in 1988. When I got to the Mountain Gate, I was suddenly very reluctant to go in. Inside, part me was screaming, “Let’s go back! Let’s go back!” After wrestling with my thoughts for a while, I forced myself to go in so as to not disappoint my wife.

During the ceremony, all the things that I had done before flashed before my eyes like a movie. Tears began flowing from my eyes as I saw this appalling vision, and I finally understood why the Venerable Master had said that I had heavy offenses. I began reflecting upon my own deeds and saw that I was committing bad karma everyday by leading a dissipated life and pursuing selfish benefit, taking this to be my goal in life.

Also during this time, I noticed that the students in the school at CTTB were very well-behaved and followed the rules. In fact, all the children living in this Pure Land were very happy and joyful. I couldn’t help but ask myself, “What do I want to give to my children? Do I want them to walk down the same path as me?” And thus, I gave rise to the thought of moving to the City to live.

However, I went back to my old ways upon my return to Malaysia. It was like riding a tiger – it’s very hard to get off once you’re on. I was at the crossroads between my old habits and a new, beneficial road for my children. After wavering back and forth for six years, I finally put down everything and our entire family moved to CTTB.

I began a new lifestyle and became a volunteer worker in the City. I also started studying the Buddhadharma to give myself an opportunity to cultivate blessings and develop wisdom. My wife took care of the family and also began volunteering in the Boys’ School. At this time, my daughter Xiao Hui was only six years old, and my son Qin Zhi was only four. They attended Instilling Goodness Elementary School and received their full elementary and secondary education at CTTB.

In reality, in the United States there are many unwholesome temptations. However, living in the City lessened our worries about this matter. Apart those students who are not used to the environment here and leave, students will not degenerate at the City. The environment here is a good one, and there’s an atmosphere of peace and serenity as well that will influence everyone to be good.

Everyone is probably familiar with the story of Mencius’s mother moving three times. However, the world is a much scarier place today than it was 2,500 years ago. The Venerable Master Hua foresaw the present situation and founded the schools. That way, we could send our children off to school without any worries. It is not the case that all the alumni of the schools are infallible saints – they are not. They are still regular people and will still make mistakes. However, they will not commit the same mistakes twice and live a regretful life.

School and family are the two most important elements in the education of children. In order to set an example and to distance ourselves from the violence and sexual depravity, we don’t watch TV in our house. My son would follow me to the Buddha Hall for the sutra lectures and do his homework there, while my daughter stayed home with her mother. Over the years, my children have learned to be independent and study hard. Knowing how hard their parents work, they help out with chores and housework regularly.

During the last two years, my daughter has gone off to college while my son is going to be graduating from high school soon. Our family began feeling some financial pressure. Luckily, we received our green card around this time, and my wife found a job delivering newspapers. My children also helped out with the job on weekends and vacations. I myself tried to get a job to earn more money so that my children could go to college, but I dropped this later on.

On December 1, my son received notification from Princeton University that he had been accepted with a full scholarship for all four years of study, and we were able to rest easy. The fact that my son was able to get in to a good university is not really something to become arrogant about. I just hope he can remember that as a Buddhist, he carries the mission of a Buddhist as well, and should act as a good example outside and use his moral education from the City to influence others to walk towards a better path.

The Venerable Master often said: “The purpose of an education is to understand principles – not to get wealthy or famous.” We hope that our children will walk this path. I have already wasted an entire half of my life, and I hope my children will not walk in my footsteps and repeat my mistakes. I feel very happy that I made the right choice in 1994. I believe that because of our faith in the Venerable Master Hua, everything will be fine in the end.

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