|
91年我到三藩市，一次經過中國城時，「金山聖寺」四個大字非常吸引我，忍不住上樓去。從此我就常去拜大悲懺，並請上人的開示錄回去恭讀。92年，法師給我一張地圖，我就請先生開車帶我來萬佛城。
93年我們搬到佛萊斯諾，我很想讀上人的開示錄和聽上人的錄音帶，法師就給我上人在歐洲弘法的17捲帶子，我有空就聽，並謄錄。我從裡面學到很多，例如修行要先修好自己，怎麼樣把人做好、做得正；以前我脾氣很暴躁，現在就會受果報；所以外子脾氣不好，我就學習忍耐，「忍耐，忍耐，多多忍耐，切莫生氣，娑婆訶。」
93年我常來聖城，因為聽上人說：「要皈依我的人，要拜一萬拜；皈依過的人，不要再皈依我！」怕上人不收我做徒弟，我不敢申請。94年我心裡想：「我一定要皈依師父！我要在家裡先拜完！」而且我聽到上人講，持觀音菩薩〈大悲咒〉的感應多麼好，又說〈大悲咒〉能治八萬四千種疾病；雖然我沒有能力治病，但我可以把〈大悲咒〉先念好它。
從94年年初五開始，我每天念108遍〈大悲咒〉沒有間斷，為的是外子不要發脾氣；而且他常有頭痛的毛病，所以我想持〈大悲咒〉來幫助他。我每天很誠心的念咒，每次想要出去工作，我一出門，就可以找到工作。很奇妙！
95年我正在拜一萬拜，拜了二千拜，師父圓寂了，我心想：「師父！我的功課還沒做好，我要皈依您，您怎麼就走了？」結果師父滿我的願，在荼毗的那天我皈依了，是他最後一批弟子，法名「果敏」。皈依後，繼續拜完一萬拜後，我才明白師父為什麼要我們拜？就是拜我們的自性。從那時起，我決定這後半生都要拜佛，拜到我拜不動，我才會停止，我也會不間斷持念〈大悲咒〉。
我第一次禮拜上人是在法界聖城，那時我很怕他。上人講完經走出來，看到人家跟著他走，我靈機一動，也跟著他跑；後來他坐在走廊的沙發上，我馬上跑過去跪在他面前，叩了三個頭就跑，怕他罵我。
我每次到聖城來都住在菩提精舍，第一次夢見上人，我在宿舍裡，看到窗外師父來了，上人從階梯走下來，我說：「師父來了！」並趕快把門打開來，頂禮他；師父一手拿著柺杖，一手拉著我，笑嘻嘻的，好慈悲！
我在家裡做功課是很誠心的，每天早上起來，我都從頭洗到腳，很乾淨的到佛堂拜佛做早課。我來參加法會，聽到師父的錄音帶開示說：「只要你有誠心懺悔，一懺便消。」我回家後，每天先拜佛、再拜師父，跟師父說：「我要求懺悔！」那時師父已經圓寂了。一天早上，在夢裡我正在梳洗，聽到師父在我的門外叫：「要懺悔的人，快點出來！」我趕快跑出去，上人旁邊有一位年輕的出家男眾。我說：「師父！我要懺悔！」師父說：「跟我來！」我跟他走到了上人在聖城的房間…。
待續
|
|
I came to San Francisco in 1991. One time when I went to Chinatown, the four big words “Gold Mountain Sagely Monastery” captured my full attention. I climbed the stairs up to the temple. From that time on, whenever time permitted, I attended the Great Compassion Repentance. I checked out books of the Venerable Master Hsuan Hua’s Dharma talks from the library and read them at home. In 1992, a Dharma Master gave me a map and I asked my husband to drive me to the City of Ten Thousand Buddhas (CTTB).
When we moved to Fresno in 1993, I had a strong desire to read the Dharma talks and listen to audio tapes of Venerable Master Hua. A Dharma Master gave me seventeen tapes of the Master’s talks during his trip to Europe. I listened to and transcribed them. I learnt a lot from it. For example, in our cultivation, we have to first cultivate ourselves to be responsible and proper. Since I used to be very short-tempered, now I receive the retribution I deserve. When my husband is in a bad mood, I would tell myself: “Patience, patience, gotta have a lot of patience; don’t get angry, Suo Po He.”
I frequently visited the CTTB in 1993. I heard Venerable Master say, “If you want to take refuge with me, you need to bow 10,000 times. For those who already have taken refuge, do not take refuge with me again. Fearing that Venerable Master would refuse to accept me as his disciple, I dared not to apply to take refuge. In 1994, I said to myself, “I must definitely take refuge with the Venerable Master! I shall first finish my bowing at home.” I also heard Venerable Master Hua mention how wondrous and rewarding it is to recite the Great Compassion Mantra. He said the Mantra can cure 84,000 different kinds of illnesses. Although I do not have the ability to cure people’s illnesses, I can start by learning to recite the Great Compassion Mantra.
Starting on the 5th day of the first lunar month 1994, I recited the Compassion Mantra 108 times every single day without a break for the sake of helping my husband not to lose his temper. He also had frequent headaches. Thus I recited the Great Compassion Mantra hoping to relieve his pain. I sincerely recited it everyday. After that every time I wanted to find a job, as soon as I stepped out the door, I found work. It was very strange.
In 1995 I was doing the 10,000 bows. I had completed 2,000 bows when the Venerable Master entered Nirvana. I thought to myself, “Master, I have not finished my homework. I wanted to take refuge in you; why did you leave?” It turned out that the Master did fulfill my wish. On the day of cremation, I finally took refuge. I was one of the last group of his disciples. My Dharma name is Guo Min. After taking refuge, I continued to bow. When I finished my 10,000 bows, I realized why the Master wanted us to do the bowing. We are bowing to our inner wisdom. From that day on, I have decided to continue bowing for the rest of my life. Only when my body gives out will I stop bowing. I will also continue to recite the Great Compassion Mantra uninterruptedly.
When I first bowed to the Master, it was at the City of the Dharma Realm. I was very nervous then. After he finished his Dharma talk and walked away, there were people following him, and I also followed along. He finally sat down on the couch in the hallway. I rushed to where he was and immediately knelt down in front of him, quickly completed three prostrations, and ran away for fear that he would scold me.
Every time I came to the City of Ten Thousand Buddhas, I always stayed at the Bodhi House. I was in the dormitory when I first dreamt of the Venerable Master. Through the window, I saw the Master making his way in. He came down the stairs. I said, “The Venerable Master is here.” I rushed to open the door and respectfully greeted him. He held a cane in one hand and took my hand in his other hand, his face full of smiles. Very compassionate indeed!
I do daily recitations very sincerely at home. After I wake up everyday, I take a shower and cleanse myself from head to toe. Totally refreshed, I entered the worship hall to do my Morning Recitation and bowing. I once came for a Dharma Session and heard Venerable Master give such instructions: “If you wholeheartedly repent, it will immediately erase your karma.” After I came home, the first thing I did every day was to bow. First I bowed to the Buddhas and then to the Venerable Master. I prayed to him saying, “I would like to repent.” But he had already entered Nirvana at that time. One morning in my dream, as I was washing my hair, I heard the Venerable Master calling outside on my doorstep, “She who wants to repent, come out!” I rushed out and noticed that the Venerable Master was accompanied by a young Bhikshu. I said, “Venerable Master, I want to repent!” The Master said: “Follow me!” I followed him. We came to the Venerable Master’s room at CTTB.
To be continued
|
