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在我們這個星球上，每65億人裏邊，就有8億5千2百萬人遭受饑餓之苦；有12億人，以不到一塊錢一天，過著極度貧窮的日子。每一天，有1萬6千個兒童死於饑餓──這表示：每五秒鐘，就有一個孩子餓死。對20個最窮的國家做有效益的賑濟，要花費55億，相當於建造一座「歐洲狄斯奈樂園」的費用。對全球提供基本社會服務的使用權，並用以緩和收入不足的問題，須用掉800億──少於世界上七個最有錢者之淨資產。單就美國而言，每34分鐘就發生一起謀殺案件，離婚率高於50%；而我們的政府，卻每年花2萬5千億，或者說每分鐘花1百萬在大量的毀滅性武器──這足以殲滅世界三次以上。
以我在育良小學和培德中學累積的經驗，實際上令我不可能漠不關心的來看待這些個事實。我的反應，是一個緊迫感、認同與改變的決心，而非一種憤怒或漠不關心；它來自對自我的了解，這在一個不厭其煩地不斷告訴你「要做什麼、說什麼，最近崇尚成為什麼」的世界裏，是很困難的。
我在育良小學和培德中學所獲得的，已為我創造了一系列不斷覺知自我的能力──即使是我在人生旅途上，繼續引發一連串彷若永無止境的問題。當我在我高中時，因自我形象而掙扎，這個大問題是：「我究竟是誰？」當我上了大學，努力去吸收所有我學到的這個世界，而我真的是如此渺小，這問題變成：「我這一生想要做什麼？我的人生目的是什麼？什麼是我的精神召喚呢？」大學畢業後，理想很快就被引至物欲；三年來，在從事每週工作60小時、出差至世界各地的「成功」職業之下，問題已變成：「我如何平衡我的生活？我如何在『做我想做、能做的』與『做我須做、應做的』之間，做出決定？」現在我已經結婚了，問題仍持續蹦出來。
每一回，我花了無數個無眠的夜晚，去沉思這些個問題，終於獲得了答案。所有的這些個問題，都是相互關聯的，所有的答案也是一樣；事實上它並不那麼複雜，就如同真理很少是複雜的。答案很簡單：我是一個有同情心的人，熱衷於思想與溝通。我的精神召喚和人生目的，是在教育方面，致力於一種正面的重要影響；這一種影響，乃奠基於大眾受益程度與和平，能引領後世形成環球村社會。我現在還不夠那個程度，因為我老是忘記專心於做這樣的反省：若每天我偏離了我的人生目標，不只是對我自己不忠實，而且也全是我自己在造業。雖知道自己的弱點，卻沒想到請我丈夫幫忙，來提醒我們，去著眼於對我們的精神面和人格成長真正重要的事情。我們惟有從開始改變我們自己著手，才能開始改變這個世界。
我將永遠感激育良小學／培德中學，因為它幫助我瞭解我是誰，並獻身於我的理想──這就是我修行的法門。我常常想起這個故事，它的寓意，正是我人生哲學的基礎。
清晨，有個小女孩在沙灘上；沙灘上，到處都是退潮之後留下的星魚。有個男子沿著沙灘在散步，看她拾起一隻又一隻的星魚，並一一丟回海裏。看了二十分鐘之後，他終於走過去，語調激動地問：「小女孩！這大約有上百萬的星魚擱淺在沙灘上，你認為你能產生什麼影響嗎？」小女孩彎下腰，撿起另一隻星魚，並把牠丟入海中；她轉身對這個男子簡短地說：「我剛剛就對那隻星魚造成影響了！」
這個故事左右了我的生命觀──即使遇到極度的困難，只要是值得為利益眾人而去做的事，沒有什麼是不可能的。
雖然育良小學／培德中學奠基於一個這麼有價值的系統，我可不同意把孩子送到那兒去做「現成品」；因為這真的是一個學習「他們是誰、他們各自的人生目的是什麼」的過程。他們可能不會選擇認同這一點，直到離開學校數年之久以後；但是可以這樣說：學校系統的經驗，總是這些認同最重要的一部分。即使至死也得不到問題的答案，我們也不應選擇盲目活著，並浪費生命──盲目，因為不知我們是誰；浪費，因為未獻身於我們的人生目標。
這個事實是：沒有任何學校是完美的，也沒有任何社區是完美的。育良小學/培德中學與萬佛聖城亦不例外。任何人為的組織，會容易感受到它人為的缺陷，因為我們還有貪、瞋、癡。不要期待在育良小學/培德中，得到一個不可思議的覺醒或開悟，也不要認為育良小學/培德中學與萬佛聖城完全不是「當初所想像的那麼好」，而流於失望或忿怒。我們可以這麼說：育良小學/培德中學與萬佛聖城是一個交通工具，它幫助我們人格與精神面的成長──這是一種令人達到較高層次之意識與覺醒的挑戰。遠離了媒體和世間的娛樂，你可以問問自己：我能不能沒有貪婪？我能不能沒有瞋怒？我能不能沒有愚癡？即使沒有旁人，我能不能一個人開始去做事？我能不能做這所學校、這個社區、這個社會和這個世界的模範？如果「恐懼」是我不能向前致力於「大眾和平」這終極目標的根本原因，那麼育良小學/培德中學確然已幫助我再次認知：即使遇到極度的困難，只要是值得為利益眾人而去做的事，沒有什麼是不可能的。
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Of the 6.5 billion people on our planet, 852 million people are suffering from hunger and 1.2 billion are living on less than $1 per day in extreme poverty. 16,000 children die from hunger each day; this means that every 5 second, a child starves to death. Effective debt relief to the 20 poorest countries would cost $5.5 billion, equivalent to the cost of building EuroDisney. Providing universal access to basic social services and transfers to alleviate income poverty would cost $80 billion, less than the net worth of the 7 richest men in the world. In the U.S. alone, a murder occurs every 34 minutes, divorce rates are higher than 50%, and our government spends $2.5 trillion annually or $1 million per minute on weapons of mass destruction that could annihilate the world three times over.
My collective experiences at Instilling Goodness & Developing Virtue Schools (IGDVS) have virtually rendered it impossible for me to view these facts with indifference. My reaction is one of urgency, acceptance, and resolve for change, rather than one of indignation or indifference. It comes from knowing oneself, which is difficult in a world that is constantly bent on telling you what to do, what to say, and what to be according to the latest trends.
What I have gained out of IGDVS has created for me a series of ongoing realizations and understandings about myself even as I continued to create a series of seemingly endless questions on the path of life. As I struggled with self-image in high school, the big question was: “Who am I?” As I strived to take in all that I was learning about the world in college and how small I really was, it turned into: “What do I want to do with my life? What is my purpose in life? My calling?” Idealistic notions quickly led to materialistic aspirations after college; 3 years into a “successful” career of 60-hour weeks traveling the world, the question had become: “How can I balance my life? How do I decide between doing what I want/could do and doing what I should/need/have to do?” Now married, the question still came up.
Each of these times that I spent many sleepless night pondering these questions, I finally did come to an answer. All of these questions were inter-related and all of the answers were the same. It actually wasn’t even that complicated, as truths seldom are. The answers were simple: I am a compassionate person —- passionate about thoughts and communication.
My calling and life purpose is to make a positive difference in the field of education, one that leads our future generations towards a global society based on “profitability and peace for all”. I am not there yet because I keep forgetting to focus on the realization that each day that I deviate from my life’s purpose is not only being untrue to me, but it is also wholly of my own doing. Although aware of my own weaknesses, I neglect to ask for my loving husband’s help to remind us to focus on what is truly important to our spirituality and personal growth.
We can only start changing the world by starting to change ourselves.
I will be forever thankful to IGDVS for helping me to realize who I am and work towards dedicating my life to this aspiration, which is the Dharma door of my cultivation. I am often reminded of the story whose moral is at the base of my life philosophy:
One dawn, there was a little girl on a beach that was filled with stranded starfish from the high tide that had subsided. A man walking along the beach saw her picking up the starfish, one by one, and throwing them back into the sea. After twenty minutes of watching her, he finally went up to her and asked in an exasperated tone of voice, “Little girl, there must be millions of starfish stranded along this beach. Just how do you think that you can possibly make a difference?” The little girl bent down, picked up another starfish, and threw it into the surf. She turned to the man and said simply, “I just made a difference for that one.”
This story drives my overall approach to everything in life; that even in the face of extreme hardship, nothing is impossible if it is worth doing for the good of all.
While IGDVS is based on a wonderful values system, I wouldn’t endorse having children sent there for the end product. It really is about the journey of learning who they are and what their own personal life purposes are. They may not choose to realize it until years later, long after they’ve left the schools, but it can be said that there the experience of the school system is most always an important part of those realizations. Even if we die asking unanswered questions, we should not choose to live a blind and wasted life; blind not knowing who we are and wasted not to apply ourselves towards our life purpose.
The reality is that no school is perfect and no community is perfect. IGDVS and the City of 10,000 Buddhas are no exception. Any organization of people will be susceptible to its human flaws. There will still be greed, anger, and delusion. Rather than expect a miraculous awakening or enlightenment from being at IGDVS/CTTB or fall to a sense of disappointment or resentment that IGDVS/CTTB was not all it was “cracked up to be,” it can be said that IGDVS/CTTB is a vehicle to aid in personal and spiritual growth, a challenge to bring oneself to a higher state of consciousness and awareness. Away from media and worldly distractions, one can ask: Can I be devoid of greed? Can I be devoid of anger? Can I be devoid of delusion? Can I be the one who starts, even if there are not others? Can I be an example for this school, this community, this society, and this world?
If “fear” is at the root of why I cannot move forward towards this ultimate goal of “peace for all”, IGDVS has certainly helped me to realize that once again, even in the face of extreme hardship, nothing is impossible if it is worth doing for the good of all.
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