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一九四九年，我在雲門預備來香港，在六月間，我從雲門走的時候，就同虛雲老和尚告假，說我要來香港。老和尚就不叫我走，說：「你到香港，你就不會回來了！」我說：「我一定回來，我到香港轉轉，我就再回來！」老和尚就落淚了：「你去香港，你不會回來了！」「我一定回來，您放心好了！」因為上次我一到雲門，老和尚給我一間房住，那房間好潮濕的；尤其五六月間，根本有點受不了。我就同和老尚講，我怕潮濕，要到香港走一走。老和尚：「喔！我們廟上的房間很好啊！你看那個在家人住的房間，好像豬窩一樣！」可是我受不了，就這麼樣，我在雲門就來到廣州。
先到廣州那個「六榕寺」。那個方丈和尚明觀老和尚有多少功夫，但是沒福報，所以他一生都好清苦的。你看他那個樣子，還留這麼長的鬚！如果沒鬚的話，這個小鼻子、小眼睛，小嘴巴、小下巴，很小的這麼一個老和尚，你看他就像一個道士的樣子！這個道士都留好長的鬚，長頭髮──他還沒留長頭髮。在南華寺，我就識得他，老和尚叫他到六榕寺來做方丈，他就在那裏做方丈。我到那兒掛單，他就請我做班首──做這個堂主，上殿走在人的前邊，這就叫「班首」。你看在南華寺，做啥我也不反對；這麼樣，他就請我做班首。班首的地位，就是天天願意上殿就上殿、願意過堂就過堂，不中意上殿也隨便、不中意過堂也隨便；但是我還天天上殿過堂，我不懶惰的。就這麼樣，有一次我就對他講：「共產黨就快來廣州了！」我知道這個「六榕寺」好多錢的，有幾百條金，每一條十兩金，大約有兩千多兩的樣子。還有這「大頭」(民國初的銀幣)──你們廣東叫「大圓」！大約有一千五六百塊的樣子大圓，還有這個紙幣，大約有十、廿萬港幣的樣子；十、廿萬港幣好多錢了！這是一九四九年的時候。
那麼我說：「共產黨就快來了，你應該把這個錢分給大家！」這個錢是十方來的，大約有三十幾個出家人在這裏住。我說：「你分配每一個人錢，他們願意錢就給錢，願意在這裏住就在這裏住；在這裏住的，還可以立火食，自己有一點錢，可以自己買自己吃。這個錢比都放在常住一起好多了！分開給三十幾個人，一個人分三千、五千，廟上可以留一半。那一半，分給十方的師父；鍾意在這邊住、在這邊住，不鍾意在這邊住，他有路費了，隨他便！這第一個條件，我希望你把錢都分給所有的人！」「喔！這個錢我不敢動，這個是十方的錢，我怕因果！」這麼樣這個條件他不接受。
「你怕錯因果，你可以這麼樣把所有的錢、所有的東西存到香港去。你還在廣州所有的錢，所有的大圓、這個現款，存到香港銀行去！這是第二個條件，你不好存在廣州了！」「香港這地方，一定能靠得住嘛？」就這麼同我講道理。我說：「香港不會有廣州這麼亂的。」
我說：「第三個條件呢？你把六榕寺搬到香港去，把所有的佛像、所有的人都搬到香港。你用這個錢買一塊地，在這裏造個廟，十幾萬港幣，可以造好大個廟！大約人工也便宜、材料也便宜，十幾萬港幣，造廟用不了那麼多！你搬到香港，把這個出家人也都帶到香港去，你還現現成成的做方丈，太太平平的！」「這三個條件，我一個也不能做的！」不能做？那好了！
又過了幾天，我就想要走；那時有很多逃難的，大約各地所有人都跑到廣州來，因為韶關已經解放了。我本來預備過八月十五返雲門去，但是在八月初韶關就解放了，返雲門的路一定要經過韶關；解放了，交通就不通了，從廣州沒車到韶關了！八月十八那一天早晨，我沒上早課，大約所有的出家人心裏也都很不安的：共產黨就來了，怎麼辦呢？都沒去做早課。這個明觀和尚來，一邊走路一邊就講：「借人家的香花，修自己的福慧！」他不是罵我，就這麼念給我聽。沒人敢罵我的，雖然他是方丈和尚，他也不敢罵我的，因為我是班首。他就這麼念：「年紀輕輕的，不好怕辛苦啊！」我就很不高興的：「你這個老和尚，簡直的！我有毛病沒去做早課，你就這麼樣！」好了，我就起身。我手裏頭連一個仙（cent）都沒有，我和恆定兩個人根本沒錢；我就出去，找一個陳寬滿居士。我一見到他，就說：「我今天去香港，你去不去香港？」「我去啊！」「你給我買飛機票啦！」他就給我買兩張飛機票。我就再回來，向這個明觀和尚告假；我說：「我要走了！」他說：「你不要走啊！我們大家同生死、共患難嘛！」「你患難？我不同你同生死！你想早一點死，我是不同你同生死的！」這麼樣，「喔！你到香港？」就叫一個──在香港，你們大家認識不認識，我不知道；那時他給明觀和尚做侍者；就要盧某某領十塊錢港幣送給我。盧某某把十塊錢港幣放在我手裏，我拿起來就掉到地下：「我不要你的錢！」丟到地上，盧某某撿還給明觀和尚。
後來他也到香港，見到我，他後悔了：「我若接受你的三個條件，我就不會那麼受苦了！」就要落淚的樣子。「受苦，鬍子還這麼長？沒有所謂的！現前你的鬍子還在的嘛！」我這麼跟他開玩笑：「你還這麼長的鬍子！」我拉著他的鬍子。明觀和尚這個人道心還好的，怕錯因果，所以聽的事情他不敢做；實際上，三個條件他若接受第一個條件，可以到香港好好過日子。譬如他要是真把六龍寺搬到香港來，他還是大和尚、大方丈一做，不會像他在香港前幾年，各處受好多苦，牙也痛。在大嶼山打禪七的時候，我想要把大嶼山給他，他還苦惱，不敢接受；所以他道心很好，就是福報差一點！這個人沒創作力，他若有創作力，他還有辦法的！那麼我在美國，果容返來的時候，我都叫他去見他；果容和他沒緣，告訴我，聽不懂他講啥！
我是八月十八離開廣州，第二天早晨十九到香港。我本來頭一次來到香港，又回到廣州；預備過八月十五就返雲門，結果沒返雲門，就又來到香港，這是我到香港的因緣。那麼到了香港之後，以後又去到泰國，泰國回來，就在觀音洞住。黃果緣的太太佘果滿，沒見過我之前，她不敢見出家人，一見到出家人就怕，怕得好厲害。我說：「你前生被出家人欺得太多了，所以你怕！」那麼見到我之後，頭一次到我那個觀音洞，我就自己吃自己的了。煮麵食，他也食到大約有兩碗吧？還有喝我給他的水，我給他的水比糖都甜。喝到水之後，就──不怕你們各位笑，都是賴，賴山、賴木，在這觀音洞住。後來呢？
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I planned to go to Hong Kong when I was in Yunmen in 1949. I requested a leave of absence from the Venerable Master Xu Yun telling him about my planned trip before I left Yunmen in June. Venerable Master Xu Yun didn’t want me to leave. He said, “After you reach Hong Kong, you will never return.” I said, “I will definitely be back. I will visit Hong Kong for a while and then come back.” Venerable Master Xu Yun wept and said, “If you go to Hong Kong, you will never come back.” “I will definitely come back, please don’t worry.” When I first went to Yunmen, the Venerable Master assigned me a room that was damp, especially during May and June, which I couldn’t bear. I told the Venerable Master that I was afraid of the moisture so I wanted to go to Hong Kong. The Venerable Master said, “The rooms in this monastery are fine. Take a look at the rooms for laypeople; they are like pigpens!!” But I still couldn’t stand it, so I went to Guangzhou.
I first went to the Liurong Monastery. The Abbot, Dharma Master Ming Guang, had some skill in spiritual cultivation, but lacked blessings. He lived in poverty throughout his life. Take a look at him; he still had such a long beard. Without a beard, he would have looked tiny with his little nose, little eyes, little mouth and short chin. He was a short senior Dharma Master who looked like a Taoist. Most Taoists have long beards and long hair. Dharma Master Ming Guang didn’t have long hair, though. I had known him since we were at Nanhua Monastery. Venerable Master Xu Yun told him to be the abbot of Liurong Monastery, so he did. When I stayed there, he invited me to be the head Dharma Master who is the host of the Buddha Hall. I was the first in line while walking in the procession to the Buddha Hall. This is what is called “head Dharma Master”. When I was in Nanhua Monastery, I would do whatever I was told to do without any objections, so Dharma Master Ming Guang asked me to be the head Dharma Master. A head Dharma Master had the privilege of choosing when and if he went to the Buddha Hall and dining hall. However, I was not lax and rigorously went to the Buddha Hall and dining hall every day. One day, I told Dharma Master Ming Guang, “The Communists are approaching Guangzhou.” I knew that Liurong Monastery was wealthy, owning several hundred bars of gold, each bar being worth ten taels of gold. The monastery had more than two thousand taels of gold plus silver coins called “Da Tou” (literally, Big Head) from the beginning of the Republic of China which were dubbed “Da Yuan” in Guangdong. The monastery had 1,500 to 1,600 Da Yuan, as well as paper currency worth 100,000 to 200,000 Hong Kong dollars. That was a lot back in 1949.
So I said, “The Communists are about to come; you should divide the money and give it to everyone here.” Since the money was from donations and there were over 30 monks living there, I told him, “You should divide the money up and give it to everyone here. Anyone that wants money should be given some. Those who would like to stay can do so. They can even buy food for themselves. This will be much better than keeping the money in the monastery. If you give money to 30-some monks, everyone can have 3,000 to 5,000 dollars, and the monastery will still have half of the total amount left. This other half can be for Dharma Masters from the ten directions. Whoever wants to stay here can do so. Or he can go to wherever he wants since he has money for transportation. This is my first suggestion. I hope you can divide the money up and give it to all the people here.” “Oh, no. All the money here is from the ten directions; I don’t dare to touch it or I could make a mistake in the law of cause and effect.” So he wouldn’t take my first suggestion.
“Well, if you are afraid of making a mistake in cause and effect, you can deposit all the money and other assets in Hong Kong. Now all of the money and assets are in Guangzhou. You better save all the cash, coins, and currency in a Hong Kong bank. This is the second suggestion. You better not keep money in Guangzhou.” “Is Hong Kong such a reliable place?” he argued back. I said, “Hong Kong wouldn’t be as chaotic as Guangzhou.”
I also said, “My third suggestion is that you move Liurong Monastery to Hong Kong. Move all the Buddha statues and all the people here to Hong Kong. Buy a piece of land using the money and build a monastery. You can build a really big one with 100,000-some Hong Kong dollars. Labor and material costs are low. You don’t even need 100,000-some Hong Kong dollars to build the monastery. You and all the monks move to Hong Kong, and you can still remain the abbot in peace.” “I cannot take any of your three suggestions.” “You can’t take them? Well, it’s up to you.”
A few days later, I told him again to leave. There were refugees coming down to Guangzhou from all over because Shaoguan was already occupied by Communists. I meant to return to Yunmen after August 15, but Shaoguan was in the hands of the Communists. To get back to Yunmen you must pass though Shaoguan. Since the Communists were in Shaoguan, the route was closed. There was no transportation from Guangzhou to Yunmen. On August 18th, I didn’t go to morning recitation. Perhaps all the monks were worried: What do we do once the Communists are here? So none of the monks went to morning recitation. Dharma Master Ming Guang came out and said while walking, “Borrow fragrant flowers from others and cultivate your own blessings and wisdom.” He didn’t scold me; he just recited that to me. No one dared to scold me. Even though he was the abbot, he didn’t dare to scold me because I was the head Dharma Master. He grumbled, “Young people shouldn’t be afraid of hard work.” I was unhappy with him, “You old Dharma Master, really! I skipped morning recitation because I was sick and you grumble like this.” All right, I got up. I didn’t even have one cent on me. Heng Ding and I didn’t have any money. I went out looking for layperson Chen Kuan Man. Upon seeing him, I said to him, “I’m going to Hong Kong today. Are you going?” “Yes, I’m going.” “Then buy an air ticket for me.” So he purchased two tickets for me. Then I went back and requested a leave of absence from Dharma Master Ming Guang. I said, “I’m leaving.” He said, “Don’t go away. We live and die together and go through hardships together.” “You are undergoing hardship? I won’t die with you. You may want to die early but I won’t die with you.” And then, “Oh, you are going to Hong Kong!” He asked attendant Lu – I don’t know if you know him, he was Dharma Master Ming Guan’s attendant back then – to withdraw 10 Hong Kong dollars to give to me. Attendant Lu put the 10 dollars in my hand and I took it and dropped it on the floor: “I don’t want your money!” I dropped it on the floor and attendant Lu picked up the bill and returned it to Dharma Master Ming Guang.
Later, Dharma Master Ming Guang went to Hong Kong as well. When he saw me, he regretfully said, “If I would have taken your three suggestions, I wouldn’t have suffered so much.” He was almost in tears. “Suffering? Your beard is still so long. It’s no big deal. You still have your beard now.” I kidded him, “Your beard is still long,” and pulled at his beard. Dharma Master Ming Guang actually had a good resolve for spiritual cultivation. He was afraid of making a mistake in cause and effect so he didn’t dare to listen to me. In reality, if he took the first of the three suggestions I made to him, he could have led a good life in Hong Kong. For instance, if he had moved Liurong Monastery to Hong Kong, he would have still been a high Dharma Master, a revered abbot. He wouldn’t have gone though those first few years of suffering, including his toothache. When we held the Chan session on Lantao Island, I meant to give the monastery in Lantao to him but he didn’t dare to take it because of his worries. So he did have a good resolve for the Way; he was only lacking in blessings. He was not creative enough, either. If he were creative, he could still have done something. After I came to the U.S., I told Guo Rong to go see him. But Guo Rong had no affinity with him, telling me that he couldn’t make out what Dharma Master Ming Guang was saying.
I left Guangzhou on August 18th and arrived at Hong Kong the next morning on the 19th. The first time I went to Hong Kong, I went back to Guangzhou. I planned to return to Yunmen after August 15th but couldn’t make it so I went to Hong Kong again. These are my causes and conditions relating to Hong Kong. I went to Thailand afterwards. After coming back from Thailand, I stayed in the Guanyin Cave. Before she saw me, Yu Guo Man, the wife of Huang Guo Yuan, used to be afraid of monastics. Upon seeing monastics, she became badly scared. I said, “You were bullied too much by monastics in your past life. That’s why you are scared.” After seeing me the first time, she came to Guanyin Cave, where I ate my own food. I cooked noodles and she ate two bowls of it. She also drank the water I gave her, which was sweeter even than sugar. After finishing the water, she – you may laugh – hung around. She hung around the mountain, around the woods and around the Guanyin Cave. And then?
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