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師父的法藥總是適時而至。有一次，我遇上一個將我的耐性逼到底限的、極端困難的考驗，即遭人家用言語反覆地辱罵，而我只是保持沉默和被動。在純屬巧合的機緣下，我剛好翻到此經的末頁──那得很久以後，我才會讀到的。一讀之下，我大受震撼。後來，當我再循序漸進讀到這一頁，所感受的衝擊，就不如第一次在遍體鱗傷之際讀它那樣來得強烈了。師父到底說給我什麼妙法呢？
「釋迦牟尼佛為使善財童子成佛道，所以要他忍人所不能忍，受人所不能受的境遇…縱使有人嘲笑或侮辱你，你應該保持泰然自若的態度，來對待他們，不起愛恨親疏之心。此時，你就會生出無生忍的善力…身為一個修道人，無論人家對你怎樣不好，你都要忍受。如果你能忍受人家的打罵，就是真修行人；若是你說你想成佛，被人家一打罵，你就受不了，那你在修什麼呢？」〈《華嚴經》第39品之五，第270頁〉
於遭人斥罵、打擊、詆譭的當兒，師父給我許多忠告：
「即使身受毆辱、鞭笞的凌虐，直至四肢都被切除，也要保持不為所動。別人言語上侮辱你，修忍辱行的菩薩，一點兒都不生氣或憎恨，也不報復…〈《華嚴經》第39品之五第74頁〉
「有人罵你，你就受不了。有人打你，那就更難放下了……你不應該還有我這個念頭…為什麼要生氣呢？如果有人譭謗你，呵責你，他們就是你的善知識啊。人家為什麼要說你不好呢？他們認為你應該更好，你有進步的餘地，所以他們才告訴你。你應該從反面看，往好的一面看…」〈《華嚴經》第39品之五第212─3頁〉
「忍不好修。忍若好修，就不會用它當作考驗你有多少誠心的試金石了…受到譏嘲或訕謗，不要起怨親之心。」〈《華嚴經》第39品之五〉
看來簡直不可思議，我剛好抽出一本《金剛菩提海》雜誌，裡面一篇師父的文章吸引我的視線，因為它正好描述我此刻的處境。師父真是無所不知啊！
最近，我回顧自己多年前在萬佛聖城所作的舊筆記，讀到師父如下的字句：
想修行，先忍苦。
想成佛，先受魔。
突然間，我見到了光明，並且明白師父這些字句裡的智慧了。在我沒有研究佛法，和決定依照師父的教導修行以前，磨難反而沒有現在這樣多。他說：
「不找麻煩，也不怕麻煩。」
關於我的苦惱，我再也不怪別人，因為我知道：痛苦即是修行成功的先決條件。
當我有過錯，需要糾正的時候，師父會立刻把這個缺失給指出來。有一次，我忍不住檢視起他人的過失時，師父教我了：
「若瞅人不對，自己苦未了。」〈《宣化上人開示錄》第九冊第155─7頁〉
無論什麼時候，當我感到害怕或面臨自己的問題時，我會帶著問題去找這位心靈之父，他都會和藹地立即回應，紓解我的憂愁苦惱。他說： 你若感到內心不安樂，可以把心拿來，我會令它安樂。」
有一次，某人的過錯令我十分著惱。我請求師父幫我去除我對此人的憎惡。他說道：
「人處世若能不動心，並且等視佛與眾生，此人便能開大智慧…佛與眾生是一樣的。只是佛已經覺悟，眾生仍然執迷不悟。悟與迷不同，眾生與佛相同…你應該知道，眾生跟佛本質上是一樣的…」〈《華嚴經》第九品〉
後來，我決定從此不再談論他人之過。數小時後，當我翻到此書同一章的第六頁時，如：「菩薩不談人之非。」師父以間接的方式，肯定了我的誓願。
我持守這個誓願達數天之久，一天晚上，有位長輩出於憂心，要我就某對夫妻面臨的問題出點意見。在跟他解說當中，我間接提到那導致甲方痛苦的乙方缺失。又過了數小時，當我下意識地取出多年前彙集師父嘉言的筆記本時，你猜師父說什麼？
「迷人口說人是非。你想當迷人，還是當智者？若是想當迷人，那你可以隨便說長道短。若是想當智者，切莫道人是非。你若說是說非，那不是道。」
他亦說：「修行人無論行住坐臥，都應用功，不可說人閒話。時時謹言慎行。不道人長，留心己過。瞧瞧自身可有踰矩違戒。莫道旁人長短。不要談論他人。批評是陰，讚美是陽，你要找出個中道。」
師父像醫生，在因緣成熟時，他會講適合我們每一個人的法，以對治我們各自無數的毛病，像是貪、瞋、癡。
「觀諸因緣，應機說法。如世良醫，因病下藥。」〈《華嚴經》第九品第140頁〉
待續
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Shr Fu’s perfect dose of Dharma medicine is always given at the most appropriate moment. At one time, I was undergoing tremendously difficult tests that tested my patience to its limits. I was undergoing the suffering of repeated verbal abuse. All I did was keep quiet and remained passive. By sheer chance, I happened to flip to a page towards the end of the Sutra that I should not have read until much later. When I read it, it affected me tremendously. Later on, when I reached that particular page in the course of reading the Sutra, the impact was not as great as when I read it the first time with my feelings still raw with hurt. And what was the wonderful Dharma that Shr Fu shared with me?
“Shakyamuni Buddha wanted the Youth Good Wealth to realize Buddhahood, so he made him endure situations that other people find hard to endure, and to accept things that people find difficult to accept…Even if people mock or insult you, you should still maintain an attitude of equanimity towards them and harbor no thought of love or hate, closeness or distance. At this time you can bring forth the power of the kindness of the patience with non-production…as a cultivator of the Way, no matter how badly people treat you, you have to bear with it. If you can endure it when people scold you or hit you, then you’re a true cultivator. If you say you want to become a Buddha, but you can’t take it when people scold or hit you just once, then what are you cultivating?” [FAS Chap 39 V, pg 270]
During that time, Shr Fu gave me plenty of advice on being scolded, beaten, or slandered as follows:
“In encountering physical abuse such as pounding and thrashing, to the point that one’s limbs are cut off, one should remain unmoved. In the face of verbal insult, the Bodhisattva who practices patience would not feel the slightest anger or resentment, nor should he seek revenge…” [FAS Chap 39 V, pg 74]
“Someone scolds you, and you can’t take it. Someone hits you, and that’s even harder to put down…You shouldn’t retain a sense of self…Why get angry? If people slander or scold you, they are your great good knowing advisors. Why do they say you are not good? Because they feel that you should be good, that there are grounds for improvement, so they make a point of telling you. You should look at this from the other way around and learn from their good points…” [FAS Chap 39 V, pgs 212-3]
“Patience is not easy to cultivate. But if it were easy to cultivate, it wouldn’t serve as a real test to see how much sincerity you have…On being ridiculed or slandered, do not give rise to thoughts of friend or foe.” [FAS Chap 39 V, pg 216]
Uncanny as it may seem, I happen to retrieve a copy of the
Vajra Bodhi Sea magazine. The article by Shr Fu that caught my eye was precisely a description of my present state of affairs. Shr Fu surely knows everything that happens.
Recently, I reviewed my old notes which were written in CTTB many years ago. I came across these words by Shr Fu:
Whoever wants to cultivate must endure suffering.
Whoever wants to be a Buddha must be tested by demons.
I suddenly see the light and realize the wisdom behind Shr Fu’s words. I have never experienced so much suffering until I started to investigate the Buddhadharma and decided to cultivate in accordance with Shr Fu’s teachings. I also read these words by him: “Don’t look for trouble and don’t be afraid of trouble.”
I do not blame others for all my suffering anymore. I realize that bitter suffering is a prerequisite for successful cultivation.
When I have a fault that needs to be corrected, Shr Fu will immediately highlight the undesirable trait. Once, I could not help but look at somebody’s fault. Shr Fu responded to teach me,
“If you always see the faults of others, then you haven’t put an end to your own suffering.” [Dharma Talks by the Venerable Master - Vol 9, pgs 155-7]
Whenever I feel fearful or face personal problems, I will bring my troubles to my spiritual father who kindly responds immediately to soothe away all my woes and suffering. He has said before, “If you do not feel peaceful and happy inside, you can bring your heart to me and I can make it feel peaceful and happy.”
One time, I was deeply distressed about the faults of someone. I prayed to Shr Fu who successfully helped me get rid of my resentment and distaste for the person I was annoyed with. He said,
“If one can look upon this world with a mind that is unmoving, and see Buddhas and living beings as the same, then such a one will accomplish supreme wisdom… the Buddha and living beings are the same. It’s just that the Buddha has become enlightened and living beings are still confused. The enlightenment and confusion are different; living beings and the Buddha are the same… You should know that common living beings and the Buddha are basically the same.” [FAS Chap 9, pg 18]
Later on, I resolved never to talk about people’s faults again. Few hours later upon opening the Sutra, I turned to page 6 of the same chapter. Shr Fu reaffirms my vow indirectly i.e. a Bodhisattva would not talk about people’s faults.
For many days, I kept to my vow. One night, one elder out of concern, asked me to enlighten him on the problem faced by a couple. In explaining to him, I indirectly touched on the shortcoming of one party that caused the other to suffer. Few hours later, on impulse, I took out a notebook compiled many years ago on Shr Fu’s sayings. Can you guess what he said?
“A confused person talks about rights and wrongs of others. Do you want to be a confused person or a wise one? If you want to be a confused one, you can recklessly talk of the rights and wrongs of others. If you want to be a wise person, then don’t talk of rights and wrongs of others. If you talk of rights and wrongs, it’s not the Way.”
He also said, “Cultivators like us whether walking, sitting, or reclining should be applying our effort and not be gossiping about others. Be careful in our words and deeds all the time. Don’t talk about others’ long points. See your own faults; be always aware of your own transgressions. Never speak of other people’s good or bad traits. Quit talking about other people. Criticism is yin and praise is yang. You should find the Middle Way.”
Shr Fu is like a doctor who speaks the Dharma that is specifically appropriate to each of us when the conditions are right, in order to cure us of our myriad sicknesses such as greed, hatred and delusion.
Contemplate the conditions, bestow the teaching and speak the Dharma to suit the person,
Just as one dispenses medicine that is appropriate for a given sickness.
[FAS Chap 9, pg140]
To be continued
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