|
良法師：我想再談談馴服於出家生活這一點，《華嚴經》有一卷講到善財童子53參，有位善知識指點他爬上刀山，然後跳入火坑；他做到了，而那境界化為聖境。這是修道上重要的一項。
巴沙諾法師：出家與在家修道人不同處中，有一點是：於廟上系統中所立制度式的棄捨，不在於你讀誦的經典有多少、守持戒相的條數有多少、打坐有多棒，而在於日常棄捨的點點滴滴增進。我們放下，不論是在大眾念誦或獨處時，把自己交給面對的境界。我們捨時間，也把自己布施給法。
「捐除、棄捨、屈服」等字眼，都不足以捕捉「施與捨」的意味；要布施給法，我們須要能捨。我可以講無畏寺一個比丘的故事，來說明這個道理。他受法師的訓練有五年了，正在進行從紐奧良到加拿大分支道場的遊方之旅。他投身在這長途行腳中，對任何狀況都放下；他能忍受那些粗魯的農場工人，並於髒亂處棲息，對供養也很自在。但朝聖之旅才過一個月，他生病了；他接受這個病緣，終於無法完成行腳的理想。成功不是以達到既定的目標來衡量，而是在捨棄感。因病他中止行腳，可是他找到了法。我相信他因病緣放下，而學得更多。
佛陀教育我們，不論世間或佛法上，成功有四種基礎，這些為致力於成功的人建立起目標：
1) 欲如意足，
2) 精進如意足，
3) 念如意足，
4) 思惟如意足：觀察所行之事中，何者能引發興趣。以此四者形成循環。
近柔師：熟悉儀式後，久而久之感覺乏味，怎麼辦？
巴沙諾法師：不論南、北傳佛教或基督教的儀式的共通性質之一，就是重複性，我們要時時保持它們的新鮮和趣味。你可以反思乏味的是什麼。記得我在英國閉關了一年，六個月後，有位認識多年的女居士問我在閉關時做些什麼事？我告訴她，我早晨起身、打坐、經行、午齋、打坐、聽法、再打坐多些。她看起來非常驚愕：「好無聊！」無聊，表示你失念了。
我們要把注意力放在所做的事上，我們可以在持咒時觀息。我們把心收攝回來，並和心艱苦奮鬥；但這不表示要像放狗吃屎那樣硬拖，而是找出事情之樂趣。注意身心的緊張或寬鬆性，便得內明。問自己在自找閑岔嗎？
近寂師：阿姜查在教導他的弟子時，曾經有人得到瘧疾，他要求弟子還是靠打坐來降伏病魔，而不是靠醫生。但如果實在無法痊癒，難道還是一直打坐下去？
巴沙諾法師：我們最重的病是貪、瞋、癡，所以要專注在什麼可以解脫我們的貪、瞋、癡。是執著和無明遮障了我們的心。有一種法我們可以修，就是用智慧去攫取內心憂慮和恐懼的數量。相信你的心，不要有疑心。「我在折磨自己嗎？我太投入了嗎？因為這樣，我就完全地、永遠地不行了嗎？」經驗了極端的兩面，我們就會建立我們的信心；這種信心，無畏於病或愧疚之聲：「你懶！你不夠好！你不夠認真！」這些思想使你失衡、不安，總是在受苦。你聽聽內在的這些個評論家、疑心人、懶散人，看看這些偏失中道的真面目，病就是其中的一個。但我們遠比自己想像的更有彈性多了！你不能相信你的身體。阿姜查說，解脫最快的方法，是直接觀心。
生活在僧團中，最重要的一點是，有同參的支持和鼓勵。有些事我們自己看得不清楚，親近師父和我們信任、敬重的同修，是既需要、又有幫助的。
不管是對人或對事，阿姜查從沒有固定的反應。舉一個例子，出家初期，我在泰國東北方，那裡生活窮苦，我們吃竹筍、田雞、發酵的魚……，我整個消化系統幾乎停擺了。蘇美度法師那時是住持，他擔心我的身體，因此他去向查法師和僧團高級執事要求，是否我在午後能飲漿；但查法師不准，只說：「教他多喝一些水！」反之，查法師卻允許另一個生病的僧人吃兩餐、喝米漿。阿姜查是我們的一面鏡子，看我們怎麼辦。
近賦師：在阿姜查對您的各種教導中，不論是大、小、輕、重，應該都很寶貴；但對您的修行而言，您認為哪一樣教導是最重要的？
巴沙諾法師：我和阿姜查在一起有很多年，我最佩服他的，就是他的誠篤和盡忠，他是一位好比丘及善知識，他從不高居群體之上。做為一個師父，會很容易就讓地位和敬重把真實的自己隱藏住，；而他對法相當尊重，也從不姑息、妥協。
近安師：請您解釋要如何收攝六根？
巴沙諾法師：特別是對出家人而言，眼、耳、鼻、舌、身、意是公共場合裡交流溝通的媒介。我們要聽聞佛法、照顧威儀；當六根脫離心的管束而注意到色聲香味觸時，六根就散逸了！做為出家人，我們不應陷入這些境界。我們要認識修道上的障礙，懂得自我控制。在眾中，不四處顧視，不要和其他出家人閒談或論議，尤其更不宜高聲。我們要迴光返照。
另外舉個例子，因為我們吃一餐，所以心對食物會特別興奮。有趣的是，我發現我們官能的感應，不在大嚼、慢嚼或流口水的剎那，而在舀下一匙飯的時候。我們訓練自己對欲望要退避，出家訓練的重點之一，是在觀下一匙、下一景象、下一個音聲。能管制住六根，我們就活在當下。
近柔師：我們在受完具足戒後，將會被派到世界各分支道場去；這些道場多數是亞洲人，語言也以中文為主。但在美國道場，當然希望接引美國人。我們如何能有足夠的勇氣，接引西方人成為佛教徒？
巴沙諾法師：我們身為出家人特別要記得，不必教化任何人；我們也不必為任何人做任何人。我們只要在生活上，儘量把法放在心裡。
到廟上的人，都因為有苦，而來尋求安寧罷了！人人都在找你要找的東西。你所要做的，只是把注意力放在行善、安祥和自在。你照顧好自己，則周圍所有的眾生也得到利益了。在教導旁人時，智慧自會激動你向前行。
|
|
DM Liang: I’d like to revisit the topic of surrendering with the monastic life. A chapter in the
Avatamsaka Sutra talks about a young seeker who sought Dharma from 53 teachers. One teacher told him to climb the mountain of knives and jump into a pit of fire. He did it. And it ended up being an oasis. This is very important in practice.
Ajahn Pasanno: One of the aspects of what distinguishes monastic and lay practitioners is the institutionalized relinquishment structured into the monastic system. It’s not about how many sutras we recite, how many precepts we’re keeping, or how fine our meditation, but it’s about the small increment of letting go on a day-to-day basis. We give up and give to any situation that we face, be it chanting with the community or being alone. We give up our time and give ourselves to the Dharma.
Renunciation, relinquishment, surrendering—these words don’t fully capture this idea of giving up and giving. To give to the Dharma, we have to give up. To illustrate this principle, I’ll talk about one of the monks at Abhyagiri. He had finished five years of training as a teacher and was doing a
tudong [walk] from New Orleans to a branch in Canada. He was surrendering himself to this long walk and giving up to whatever happened. He could put up with rednecks and sleep in grungy places. He also did well in terms of material support, but he got sick about a month into the pilgrimage. He could not fulfill his ideal of a walking pilgrimage and had to give up to being sick. Success is not measured on reaching the goal set but on the sense of giving up. He stopped the walk because of this sickness, but he found the Dharma. I believe he learned more by giving up to the sickness.
The Buddha taught us the four bases of success, whether for worldly success or success in the Dharma. These set the purpose for a successful endeavor:
1. interest, desire, enthusiasm.
2. effort
3. application of mind steadily.
4. investigation; viewing what we’re doing, which feeds back to interest. This is a cycle.
Jin Rou Shr: After a while we know the ceremonies, and they become boring. What do we do?
Ajahn Pasanno: One of the characteristics common to ceremonies, whether they be Theravadan Buddhism, Mahayana Buddhism, or Christianity, is a quality of repetition. We have to keep them refreshing and interesting all the time. We can reflect on what is it that is boring. I remember when I was on retreat in England for a year. About six months into the retreat, a laywoman whom I’ve known for many years asked me what I do on retreat. I told her I get up in the morning, do sitting meditation, do walking meditation, have a meal, meditate, listen to the Dharma and meditate some more. She had a horrified look on her face, “So boring!” Boring means that you’re not being mindful.
We bring attention to what we’re doing. We can watch our breath while reciting a mantra. We bring the mind back and wrestle with it, which doesn’t mean that we try to push it down the way we do to a puppy into its excrement, we find ways to enjoy what we’re doing. Notice the quality of tension and relaxation in the mind or body and we gain insight. Am I looking for distractions?
Jin Ji Shr: Ajahn Chah taught one of his disciples when he contracted malaria, to subdue the demon of sickness by sitting meditation, not by going to a doctor. However, if the sickness is incurable, do we still have to practice sitting?
Ajahn Pasanno: Our most serious illnesses are greed, hatred, and delusion. We focus our attention on what relieves us from greed, hatred, and delusion. Attachment and ignorance cloud the mind. One of the practices that we can do is to connect with wisdom and catch the amount of worry and fear that’s in the mind. Trust the mind instead of falling into doubt. “Am I torturing myself? Am I going in too deep? Am I completely and permanently disabled because of this?” Having experimented with both sides of the extremes, we develop a confidence that isn’t intimidated by illness or the voice of guilt: you’re being lazy, you’re not good enough, you’re not hard enough on yourself. These things keep us off balance and ill at ease, so that we’re always suffering. Pay attention to the inner critic, the doubter, the slacker. See the extremes for what they really are; illness is a part of that. We’re far more resilient than we think we are. We cannot trust what our body says. Ajahn Chah said that the fastest way to liberation is by looking directly at the mind.
One of the important aspects of living in community is that we have the support and encouragement of other practitioners. We don’t see some things for ourselves. It’s helpful and necessary to be close to a teacher and fellow practitioners whom we trust and whose judgment we respect.
Ajahn Chah never had a fixed response for people or circumstances. In my early years as a monk in Northeast Thailand where it was very poor, we had a diet that consisted of bamboo shoots, frogs, fermented fish etc.— a diet that shut down my entire digestive system. Ajahn Sumedho was the abbot at the time and he was worried about me. He went to Ajahn Chah and the Supreme Sangha Council and asked to see if I may drink some liquid foods in the afternoon. Ajahn Chah denied the request and said, “just have him drink some water!” Conversely, another monk who had been sick was given two meals a day and rice water to drink. Ajahn Chah was being a mirror to us, to see what we would do.
Jin Fu Shr: Out of all the major and minor, big and small lessons you’ve learned from Ajahn Chah, they should all be valued. However, for your cultivation, what was the most important teaching of him?
Ajahn Pasanno: I spent a lot of time with him. What impressed me the most about him was his integrity and commitment. He was a good monk and a good teacher. He never raised himself above the community. It’s easy for a teacher to hide behind position and respect. He respected the Dharma and never compromised.
Jin An Shr: Will you please elaborate how to gather in the six sense faculties?
Ajahn Pasanno: Eyes, ears, nose, tongue, body, and mind for monastics, especially, are ways of relating and speaking in public situations. We listen to the teachings and watch our deportment. The senses wander as they are pulled from the mind to form, sounds, smells, tastes, and tactile sensations. As monastics, we should not be drawn into those. We recognize the barriers and restrain ourselves. In public situations we do not look around, we do not chatter or talk to other monks, especially in a loud voice. We turn our attention inward.
Another example. We eat one meal a day and our minds get excited about that. It’s interesting to see that our sensual hit is not in the chomping, chewing, or salivating but in scooping up the next spoonful of food. We train ourselves to walk back from desire. A really important element in our training is to see how much energy we spend on the next spoonful, the next sight, the next sound. When we restrain our senses, we are in the present.
Jin Rou Shr: After our ordination, we will be sent to different temples around the world. Most people are Asians and speak Chinese. In temples in the United States, they want Americans. How can we be courageous and get Westerners to become Buddhists?
Ajahn Pasanno: We have to remember, as monastics especially, we don’t have to teach anybody. We don’t have to be anybody special for anybody. We simply put the Dharma into our lives the best we can.
Anybody who comes to a monastery is concerned about suffering; they’re looking for peace, that’s all. Everybody is seeking what you’re seeking. All you have to do is to apply attention to that creation of goodness, well-being, and ease. By looking after yourself, all beings nearby are benefited. As in teaching others, wisdom motivates you to go forth.
|
