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菩提田

 

BODHI FIELD

點滴憶上人
Some Detailed Memories of Venerable Master Hua

孫果秀 文 By Jennifer Lin
三合一 英譯 English Translation by Three in One

筆者前言

十年了!真真久矣不見吾師!其實,沒有了質礙,上人的精神無所不在,上人對我的啟發、教化,也無時不在。筆者算是晚期弟子,卻因從事教書與校對經典的工作,尚有幸親炙於上人;而在校對整編上人之經典淺釋及開示時,透過錄音帶,又得以隔著時空,神遊當年的講堂。上人講經,有時就地緊扣重點、有時又天外飛來一筆,時而語重心長、時而嚴厲訓誡,時而又輕鬆幽默、笑語如珠,令人歎為觀止。往事歷歷,點點滴滴,都蘊涵著上人無窮的智慧、流露著上人無盡的慈悲。筆者僅就個人微末的記憶,將一些與上人交集的小故事,分成以下數類。

對教育大業之囑咐記

得第一次與上人面對面談話時,我陳述對眼下學校的一些意見;上人很認真地聽,然後看著我,一字一字說:「你要替我好好教育我那些孩子!」當師父說「我那些孩子」時,聲音裏充滿了深深的慈愛和切切的悲哀;直到今天,我就閉上眼睛,都還可以感受到師父那關懷教育,和憐憫眾生的心意,而不禁潸然淚下。事後,上人對別人稱說我「思想很完全」,又交代我:用筆為教育多寫些東西!教育社會國家棟樑的責任是如此之重,要走的路卻又如此之長、如此之崎嶇;可師父的這些話,幾年來一直在支撐著我不要懈怠,更不可洩氣。近年來,雖然幾度想從教育的第一線退下來,好專心校對經典;但無論我教不教課,我永不會忘記對上人的承諾:做上人的手眼,繼續上人教育的理念!而這隻禿筆,我也不敢把它停下來。

對社會大眾之關懷

敬老──是黃昏的時候,我在路上被師父叫住。當師父聽到我是送晚餐給安老院須要的老人家時,師父語重心長地說:「老人對社會國家的貢獻是很大的,一定要恭敬老人家。老人家身體不好,一天願意吃多少餐,都可以的。給老人做飯菜,要多用一點心,煮得軟一點!」師父對老人家的照顧和設想,一點兒也不遜於對青少年。當時我因為生病的母親住在安老院,幾乎一天要跑安老院好幾趟,也就順便為其他老人家做一些服務;說來還是有個私心,怎及師父「老吾老、以及人之老」的大公精神?

懷少──有一天,上人坐在流通處,我帶著住宿的女學生來;大家跪坐在上人前,聽上人諄諄教誨,也一一回答上人對每個人生活、課業的詢問。後來上人問起那三個與寡母同住在聖城的姐妹,他先瞇眼笑問小老么平日都玩什麼?愛吃什麼?接著詢問做大姐的生活、課業與修行上都有些什麼困難?然後板起臉訓斥那剛犯了校規的老二;忽然,上人停了停,轉臉看我,對學生們說:「妳們若有什麼不懂的問題,就問孫老師!孫老師會幫妳們的!」唉!我真是太感謝上人給我找的「好差事」了!我自己當時是「四十猶有惑」,竟然要幫人解決「不懂的問題」!看我以後還敢躲懶偷安、不求上進?

治安──上人曾說過:「教育是最好的國防!」我就講:「教育也是最好的治安!」上人欣然說:「所以我們教育孩子,要有教無類;好的要教,不好的,更要把他教好了!倘若只挑好的教,好的就已經好了,何必再送來給你教?……教育若辦好了,人都懂廉恥、知禮義,他就不會在社會上亂來!」所以孔子說:「誰不會斷案呀?要緊是讓社會沒案子可斷!」

救災──上人對天災人禍總是相當關切,對救災,也在精神上、實質上都不遺餘力。我雖然不曾親耳聽到上人說過什麼,但是從以前越戰期間開辦「難民營」的舉動、在瓜地馬拉大地震時「成立災難救濟部」的開示,還有幾次為消弭中東戰禍的絕食,在在都可感受到上人的悲天憫人與遠見;可惜我們的「災難救濟部」,卻在十數年後的今天,仍杳無蹤影。弟子之一的我,真是應當深自反省、改進!

對譯經方向之指示

上人講經的方式,別出一格,雖未必「絕後」,卻堪謂「空前」。習慣了上人言淺意賅的講法,還真消化不了其他家的註解!上人說他那是「淺釋」,但我相信,從古到今,再沒有比這更甚深微妙的義理了!表面上看,上人的「淺釋」,的確用語淺顯,因為上人希望讓每個人都容易聽得懂;上人還希望把這些經典及淺釋譯成各國語文,讓這世界其他國家的人都容易聽得到。我們現在正陸續重校那些已出刊過的中文版經典淺釋;因為過去的編校者自恃領悟力強、文筆佳,不但刪去許多上人講經時附帶的故事或訓誡,還自作主張,牽強地引許多別家的註解和自己的看法,來曲解上人原意。後來上人指示我們重新整編他那些淺釋,並生氣地說:「我所講的每件事,都是有意義的。」時至今日,仍有人質疑:翻譯本是否要保留上人講法的方式和語氣?我以為:佛不度無緣人;上人已經以他獨特的講經的方式,教化了我們這些有緣的弟子,因此自然會有一批和上人有緣的眾生,會愛看、也看得懂上人這種格調的淺顯!

對弘法工作之開導

弘法不是一天兩天的事,也不是一生兩生的事;這是身為出家人,生生世世必須肩負的職責。要弘法,沒有良好的僧才來帶領,是無法成就的,因此上人十分注重僧團的培訓;培訓的方針,在事理兼修、教行並重。因為想要度人,必先自度;若理未明則事不濟,行不堅則教難成,又談如何演教弘宗?所謂「通宗不通教,開口便是錯;通教不通宗,兩眼黑朦朦。」筆者於經教有深願,但自知雖無阿難之博聞強記,卻有其「未全道力」的毛病;因此希望可以借助僧團的力量,由戒律下手,讓我真正斷絕私欲與惡習,得到正受正定、大智大慧。筆者曾三番兩次要求上人允許出家,可是每次上人都顧左右而言他;甚至示現在夢中告訴我:「把經典做好了,這就是法供養!這就是在弘法!」一天,在聽錄音帶時,聽上人說到維摩詰居士以一室而容千萬眾;上人補充說:「在家人只要修,也一樣會開悟的!」我在心裏嘀咕:「開悟?可得等到什麼時候?」一面伸手去按錄音機的回轉鍵,想重聽這一段;忽然感覺上人低眉垂目的坐像好似橫過來一眼,我一驚,手錯按到快速前轉鍵,再聽時,錄音帶正溜出這句話:「只要信、願、行,沒有修行不成功的!」

對叢林生活之遠見

上人說佛教在西方大盛,還要兩百年;在這初興時期,一般西方人是不懂得應該供養僧人的。因此初創金山禪寺,上人就以身作則,克勤克儉,帶領弟子自己動手來清掃、煮飯、整修屋宇;買下龐大的萬佛聖城之後,更是身先弟子地去工作。那年上人俗家的姪兒白景學自東北來聖城,上人吩咐他,要把諾大的地都逐一規劃出來開墾;上人說:「如果我們不自己種菜來吃,將來就要餓死了!」上人到臺灣弘法時,當時的立委王金平(現今的立法院長)一家來拜見上人;上人當面邀請王金平種田的六叔王金福到萬佛聖城來教種菜。後來老先生果真來了,也總算有一兩個願意跟著學的在家人出來墾地種菜;可是當時僧團偏重於上殿過堂、講經說法,並未給予有心種菜的人支持。等到今日因為瓜果蔬菜有基因的問題了,「自己來種菜」更是勢在必行,大家都由衷佩服上人的先知先覺與遠見。

對筆者習氣之教誡

我永遠不會忘記第一回替上人寫黑板的事;那一陣子,上人常回聖城,每次都不辭病苦,給大家上對聯課,並指派我做他的助教。本來上人總是自己在黑板寫上聯,那天,上人說他近來眼睛愈發不好了,叫我替他寫。上人一字一字慢慢地唸著他即興之作,我才寫了幾個字,上人就說:「你一筆一劃慢慢寫嘛!不要把字連到一起,教人不容易看清楚!」我急忙擦掉,重新一筆一劃寫;心裏可是更急了,那麼多人在等著師父的上聯呢!這一失去定力,用力就不平均,「啪答」一聲,粉筆斷了一截,掉在講臺的地板上。我迅速瞥了一眼,又繼續寫;我不是不想撿,總以為這種「小事」,可以等我寫完再做。殊不知師父卻戰戰巍巍地彎下腰撿起粉筆,我一下子慚愧得無地自容。師父用無言的身教來教化我:再小的事,也要為別人設想;再微細的毛病,也要隨時糾正,絕不可以說「等一下」。的確!所有的習氣毛病,不就是在「等一下」裏定型,並累積出來的嗎?

又一次,也是上對聯課時。上人自己把上聯寫在黑板,並加以簡單的說明,大家就鴉雀無聲地開始構思。那時我站在講臺上,上人才在前邊坐下來,我就轉身在黑板上寫出下聯;那時上人的視力已不太好了,就站起來,瞇著眼湊近前,直看著我寫完下聯。我看師父很高興的樣子,也沒有問我話的意思,就又寫了第二個;師父笑咪咪地說:「哦!你這是把大家的聯都寫完囉?」我又差一點兒把粉筆掉到地上!師父是在告誡我:要知道韜光養晦,凡事給別人一個嘗試的機會。

另一天,上人在大清早交待我代他給一本書寫篇序,上人給我兩天的時間,可是我下午就拿著去見上人了;我看師父很歡喜的樣子,就鼓起勇氣陳述我的教育理念。上人凝重地注意聽著,不時頷首表示同意;我就更加大放厥詞起來,甚至批評起某教授錯誤的方針。上人只是輕輕嘆了一口氣說:「我是Everything is o.k.(什麼都可以)!既然有人願意做事,我也就讓他去做去。這鼓勵大家做事嘛!就算錯了,改了就是了,沒關係的!」我又深深懊悔起自己的執著和猛浪了!這叫自作聰明,根本就沒能用心去體會師父愛護人才、培植人才的深心。師父又一次給予我機會教育,教導我:要民主、開放,絕不要固執自己的知見,而抹煞了事情的任何可能性。

筆者後記

上人一生艱苦卓絕,可謂「鞠躬盡瘁」於教育、譯經及弘法三大事業。其無私忘我的操守,與難行能行、難忍能忍的風格,固然為弟子輩所景仰;而他的特立獨行、不假辭色,時至今日,仍有許多僧俗人士在詆譭。我只能像子貢喻孔夫子如日月般,說上一句:「人雖欲自絕,其何傷於日月乎?」上人雖然不能再以色身來教化我們,其典範與經教,卻是日月常輝,永遠活在弟子們心中;若我們光執著師父的色身,卻輕法慢教,上人雖在,亦如不在。我們是不幸不再能親承教誨,卻甚幸擁有上人那麼多的法寶;只要我們肯用心去逐字體會,切切實實來改正自己的習氣毛病,就是得到師父的法了!筆者習慣於把上人的言教放在日常的行住坐臥中咀嚼,每經一次省思,就有一種新的懺悔,也得一層新的領悟。《楞嚴經》中,文殊菩薩偈讚說:「此方真教體,清淨在音聞。欲取三摩提,實以聞中入。」每日浸潤於上人的音教,這種感覺與時俱增:過去多生,上人根本就是我生世世的師父!筆者還要發願:今生以迄後世,上人也永遠是我生生世世的師父;我當「常隨佛學」,直至成佛!虛空界盡,我願無盡!


Foreword

Ten years have passed! It has been so long since I have last seen my Teacher! In fact, without the hindrance of physical form, the presence of the Venerable Master has been everywhere, and his enlightening instructions and teachings for me are also all-pervasive. I considered myself to be his late disciple, but because I taught in the schools of the City of Ten Thousand Buddhas (CTTB) and also helped out with some editing and proofreading of Sutra translation and commentaries, I had the opportunity to draw near Venerable Master Hua and receive his direct teaching. When I was proofreading and compiling the Venerable Master’s Sutra commentaries and his Dharma talks from the tapes, the obstruction of time and space seemed to disappear, and I was able to travel back in spirit to the lecture hall where the Venerable Master had lectured before. When the Venerable Master lectured on Sutras, he always focused on the main points without deviation, yet sometimes with a touch of nice surprise. Sometimes he advised with a serious but sincere tone; sometimes he exhorted and warned disciples sternly; sometimes he was very relaxed and humorous— with fun words rolling off of his tongue. His charming and sparkling discourses were amazing and breathtaking. All these things in the past, though they may seem trivial when we look back, shine the light of his limitless wisdom and overflow with his inexhaustible compassion. Here, based on my limited memory of the Master, I am going to share some stories which are divided into different categories.

His Instructions Regarding the Importance of Education

I still remember the first time I had a face-to-face talk with the Venerable Master. I expressed my views toward our school system. He listened carefully and earnestly. When I finished, he looked at me and said, word by word, slowly but clearly: “You ought to teach my children well for me.” When he said those words “my children”, his voice was filled with deep, deep kindness and sorrow. Even today, even with my eyes closed, I can still feel his concern about education and his mercy towards living beings. My tears can’t help but stream down my face.

Afterwards, the Master told other people that my thoughts are “very complete”; he also instructed me to write more articles on education. The responsibilities of educating the future pillars of society and the nation—the younger generation, is a very weighty job; and the road ahead is rugged and long; but all these years, the Master’s words always support me and help me not to get lazy, frustrated, or discouraged.

For the past few years, I have been thinking several times about retreating from the frontline of teaching so I can do more Sutra-related text proofreading and editing. Whether I teach or not, I will always remember Shr Fu’s words and keep my promise to the Master: I shall be the “hands and eyes” of the Venerable Master, and work for education following the principles and policy set by the Venerable Master. For all these reasons, I dare not stop my dull pen.

His Care and Concern for the Well-being of Society and People

Honoring the Elders—One evening, the Master stopped me on the road. When he heard that I was delivering food from the kitchen to our Tower of Blessings [residence for elderly women] for those who need to eat dinner, the Venerable Master said seriously and thoughtfully, “The elders have contributed a lot to our society and nation, we should respect and honor them. Since their health conditions are usually poor, they can eat as many meals as they need. Preparing food for the elders must be done heartily, and the food must be soft.” The Master’s concern and care for the elders was in no way less than his concern and care for the youth. During that period, because I had to take care of my sick mother in the Tower of Blessings, I went there a few times every day. I also helped out a little with other elders. As I thought about it, I realized that I was acting out of a concern for myself. How could I compare to the Master’s great public spirit of “extending the same care to others’ parents as we care for our own”?

Cherishing the youth—One day when the Venerable Master was sitting at the Book Store, I brought the dorm students of the Girls’ School over to visit him. We knelt down in front of the Venerable Master, and listened to his teaching. One by one, the students answered his questions about their daily life or their studies. Afterwards, he asked the three sisters who lived with their widowed mother in the City of Ten Thousand Buddhas. Beaming with smiles, he asked the youngest sister what she played with everyday, and what she liked to eat. Then he asked the oldest one what difficulties she had in her life, in her studies, and in her cultivation. Then he straightened his face and scolded the middle sister for having broken the school rules. Suddenly, the Venerable Master paused and turned over to look at me, telling those students, “If you have any questions that you don’t understand, you can go ask Teacher Sun. She will be able to help you.” Alas! Thanks to the Venerable Master for giving me this “good job” — I was already in my forties and still have doubts and delusions; how could I help others solve their problems? Though the Master’s words indeed concerned the students, he was giving me a test as well to see if I, as a teacher, was able to “Transmit the great principle, teach the lessons and resolve students’ problems and delusion.” How dare I get lax and lazy again and not strive to make progress!

Building a Peaceful Society— Venerable Master mentioned, “Education is the best national defense!” I then responded, “Education is also the best way to create a peaceful society.” Venerable Master cheerfully said, “That is why we should educate the children well. We teach everyone without discrimination — we teach good students, but we should also teach the unruly ones to be good. If we just pick the good ones to teach, since they are already good, why should their parents bother to send them over for us to teach? … If we do well in education, then everyone will have integrity, modesty, propriety, and a sense of shame. They will not create trouble in society.” That is why Confucius said, “Who doesn’t know how to judge a case? The purpose of education is to prevent society from having any criminal cases to judge at all!”

Providing Relief from Natural Disasters— The Venerable Master was always very concerned about the occurrence of natural calamities and manmade disasters. As for disaster relief efforts, he also did his best to contribute in both spiritual and material ways. Although I did not hear anything in particular about this, I can see his concern from his establishing a Refugee Rescue and Resettlement Council after the Vietnam War, and his instructions to set up a Natural Disaster Rescue Center after the Guatemala Earthquake occurred. This concern was also apparent from the fasts he undertook before and during the war in the Middle East in order to transfer the merit to alleviate the war crisis. In everything and everywhere I could feel his compassionate regard for beings and his foresight. What a pity that after over a decade, there are still no signs of plans for a Natural Disaster Rescue Center. I think all of us disciples should really reflect upon ourselves and strive to reform and progress.

His Instructions Regarding the Direction of Sutra Translation

The Venerable Master’s way of lecturing Sutras was quite unique— although he may not be the last person to lecture this way, he was certainly the first. After getting used to his style, I felt really unaccustomed to other people’s styles. The Venerable Master called his Sutra commentaries “simple explanations,” but my personal view is that no one has done a better job in expounding the principles of the Sutras in such a profound way! His Sutra commentaries appear simple and not very deep, for the Venerable Master wished everyone could understand them without much difficulty. He also wished that all Sutras be translated into other languages so that people of all nations could have the access to Sutras and hear the Dharma. Now our Chinese Buddhist Text Translation Group is working on revising and proofreading the published Chinese editions of the Venerable Master’s Sutra commentaries. One of the editors in the past deleted a lot of the anecdotes and instructions/admonishments that the Master would give during the course of the Sutra lectures; she considered those stories and talks redundant or too colloquial. Thinking herself smart and possessed of good literary skills, she also inserted her own or others’ points of view or explanations into the Master’s commentaries. This distorted Venerable Master’s original meaning and intent. Afterwards, the Venerable Master instructed us to review and recompile his commentaries for publication. He was upset and said, “Everything I mentioned or every story I told has its significance.” Till today, there are still some people who question whether we should keep the style and the tone of the Venerable Master’s lecturing in our published translations. I personally think that just as the rain cannot benefit plants that are not rooted, so, too, the Buddha only crosses over beings who have previous affinities with him. With his unique style of Sutra lecture, the Venerable Master had already taught and transformed those disciples with whom he had affinities. Therefore, in the present and future Western society, there will naturally be beings who have deep affinities with him, who will also like to read his books and be able to understand his simple yet special colloquial style of lecture.

His Instruction on the Work of Propagating the Dharma

Dharma propagation is not done in a day or two, nor even a lifetime or two. Rather, it’s the responsibility of all monastics in life after life. It is impossible to successfully propagate the Dharma without a well-established Sangha. Therefore, the Venerable Master was very concerned about Sangha training. His principle of training the Sangha is based on the cultivation of both noumena and phenomena (theory and practice) and emphasizes both teaching and practice. This is because in order to cross over others, one must be able to cross over oneself. If one is not clear about the principles, then one cannot benefit the specifics; if one’s practice is not solid, then the teaching can hardly be attained. In this way, how can one speak the Dharma and propagate the principles? As it is said, “ One who has skill in Chan but fails to learn the Dharma will err as soon as he speaks; one who learns the Dharma but fails to put it into practice will always walk in darkness.” I myself have some deep vows concerning the Buddhist scriptures, but I realize that I had the same fault of inadequate samadhi power as the Venerable Ananda once had; yet, I lack his good memory and erudition. Hence I wish that I can rely on the strength of the Sangha, starting from upholding the precepts, to get rid of my bad habits, selfishness, and desires so that I can finally attain proper perception, proper concentration, and great wisdom. More than two or three times I asked for the Venerable Master’s permission to become a monastic; however, the Master always changed the topic. He would even appear in my dreams and say, “Work well on the Sutras; that’s the offering of Dharma! That is to propagate the Dharma!” One day, when listening to an audiotape, I heard the Master talking about how Layman Vimalakirti accommodated hundreds of thousands beings in his little room. The Master added, “As long as a layperson cultivates, he can also become awakened!” I murmured inside, “To become awakened? How long will that take?” Reaching out to rewind the tape so that I could hear it again, suddenly I felt the image of the Venerable Master sitting with his eyes lowered glancing at me. Startled, I pressed the fast forward. I listened as the tape played and the Master said, “As long as you have faith, vows, and practice, you can’t fail to succeed in your cultivation!”

His Foresight about Monastic Life

The Venerable Master mentioned that it might take another two hundred years for Buddhism to flourish in the West. In the beginning stage of Buddhism, Westerners in general do not know about making offerings to Sangha. Thus, when the Master first established Gold Mountain Monastery, he set a good example for others, practicing frugality, leading disciples in doing monastic chores such as sweeping, cooking, building maintenance, and renovation. After he acquired CTTB, he was even more exemplary in being first in doing the monastic work. That year one of Venerable Master’s nephews, Bai Jingxue, came over from Manchuria to the City, and the Master told him to make a long-term plan to develop and cultivate a huge tract of land for planting vegetables and crops. He said, “If we don’t do our own farming, we are all going to starve to death in the future.” When the Master went to Taiwan to propagate Dharma, the family of legislator Wang Jin-Ping (current Chief of the Legislature) came to pay respects to Venerable Master. The Master invited Mr. Wang’s uncle, Mr. Wang Jin-Fu to come to the City to teach people how to plant vegetables. Eventually, Uncle Wang did come; however, he found few laypeople interested in learning how to cultivate the land and plant vegetables. At that time, growing vegetables was not a priority for the Sangha either, and they were not very supportive of this work, because they spent most of their time studying in the Buddha Hall, listening to Sutra lectures, etc. It was not until the problem of genetically engineered food surfaced recently, that organic farming has become an evitable trend. Therefore, growing our own vegetables is a must at the City. Now, everybody admires the Master’s vision and foresight.

His Admonition to the Author

I will never forget the experience of, for the first time in my life, helping the Venerable Master write on the blackboard. During that period the Venerable Master returned to CTTB more often, despite his poor health, to teach classes on Chinese matching couplets. He also appointed me as a teaching assistant. Originally the Venerable Master would write out the first half of the couplets, but on that day, he said that his eyesight was so poor and asked me to write for him. He stood beside me and slowly read his beginning couplet, character by character. After I had written a few words, he said, “Write the characters slowly, with separate strokes, don’t let them run together. People won’t be able to recognize them easily.” Rashly I wiped the characters off and rewrote them slowly stroke by stroke. But in my heart, I got more anxious: “So many people are waiting to see the first halves of the couplets composed by the Venerable Master.” Since I had already lost my samadhi, the strength I used to hold the piece of chalk was uneven. As a result, the chalk broke and one half dropped onto the lecture podium. I glanced over, but continued my writing, thinking I could pick the chalk up later. Who would have expected the Master to reach down with his still trembling hand to pick up the dropped chalk? At that very moment I felt extremely embarrassed and I wanted to find a hole in the ground to hide in.

With his silent teaching, the Master taught me that although a matter is small, one should have concern for others; although a mistake is tiny, one should correct it right away. One can’t always say, “Wait a moment!” for all our bad habits and faults are formed and accumulated under the cover of this one phrase, “Wait a moment!” Isn’t this true?

Another time during the matching couplets class, the Master wrote the opening line himself and explained its meaning. Then everybody started thinking of their matching lines silently. At that time, I was standing on the stage. As soon as the Master sat down in front of me, I turned and wrote my match on the board. At that time Venerable Master’s eyesight was deteriorating, so he had to stand up and walk closer, narrowing his eyes, to see what I wrote. I saw that the Venerable Master looked quite happy and did not seem to have any question for me, so I continued to write out another one. The Master, with a big smile on his face, said, “Oh, you want to write out all the couplets for everyone else.” Upon hearing these words, I almost dropped the chalk again. I realized that the Master was admonishing me to know the limit and to “hide one’s light”. In everything we do, we should let others have their chance as well.

One early morning, the Venerable Master asked me to write a foreword for a publication. He gave me two days, but I presented it to him the afternoon of the same day. Seeing the Master so happy, I mustered my courage to present my views on education. The Venerable Master listened attentively and seriously, and nodded his head from time to time in agreement. Then I became more outspoken and started to even criticize one professor’s policy which I considered wrong. The Venerable Master just sighed gently and said, “Everything is OK for me! Since there are some people who want to do things, I should give them a chance. This will inspire everyone else to do things, too. Even if they make mistakes, it is OK, as long as they correct them. It is alright! ” His words caused me to deeply regret my attachment and rudeness. I really thought I was too smart. I totally did not see, with my heart, the Master’s profound thoughts, his wanting to cherish and nourish people with talent. The Master gave me another lesson here: To be democratic in doing things, while keeping an open mind; and not to attach to my own views, thereby blocking other possibilities.

Afterword

The Venerable Master’s entire life experience was extremely difficult. He devoted his lifetime to the three great tasks of administering education, translating the Sutras, and propagating the Dharma. In doing these things he totally forgot about himself. He practiced what others found difficult to practice, endured what others found difficult to endure. Thus his disciples looked up to his examples. Nevertheless, his unique way of doing things and his stern admonishments cause some people, Sanghans and laity alike, to criticize him. In response to this, I can only borrow the verse from Zi Gong who compared Confucius to the sun and moon, saying, “If a person wishes to choose the path of suicide, what harm does it do to the sun and the moon?”

Although the Venerable Master cannot teach us with his physical body any more, his teachings, his exemplary model, and his Sutra commentaries are like the sun and the moon––and will always live on in the heart of every disciple. If, however, we remain attached to his physical body, and slight the Dharma or Buddhist teachings, then even if the Venerable Master were physically present, it would be the same as if he were not here at all. Now the Master’s physical body is gone. We are unfortunate in that we can no longer listen to his teachings and instructions in person, but we are very fortunate to have inherited so much of his treasures of Dharma. If we can truly be sincere and read and understand those teachings, word by word, and truly strive to change and correct our bad habits and faults, then we have obtained the Dharma from the Master.

I myself like to “ponder every Dharma word of Venerable Master” in all my daily activities. Every time I reflect upon his teachings, I undergo a new repentance and ascend to a new horizon of insight. In the Shurangama Sutra, Manjushri Bodhisattva spoke a verse: “In this land the true substance of the teaching resides in hearing the sounds purely. If one wants to attain samadhi, hearing is the best way to enter.” As I immerse myself in the sound teaching of the Venerable Master every day, one feeling increases day after day: In each of my past lives, the Master has always been my Teacher! Therefore, I’d like to make a vow: From this life on, I vow that the Venerable Master shall be my Teacher in life after life. I shall follow and learn from the Buddha and the Master until I myself become a Buddha! Empty space might end one day, but my vow will never end.

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