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我先講一個故事：古時候，有一位少年，。他結婚之後，因為母親已經七、八十歲，很老了，什麼事情都要人幫忙照顧，吃東西也吃不動，走路也不行了，身體也不好，他就很討厭他母親。有一天，他和母親說：「媽媽！我帶妳去山上！」就揹著他母親，經過一個樹林，他母親就拿著樹枝一路做記號，走一段路，就放一枝。這個兒子把母親揹到很遠的深山裏，天快暗了，他很心狠，就說：「媽媽！妳很老了，我養妳不起，妳年紀又那麼大，我把妳放在這裏，我要回去了！」他的母親說：「孩子啊！天快暗了，你把我帶來這裏這麼遠，我怕你回去找不到路，我一路上幫你做記號，你就知道怎麼走回去了。」
父母疼孩子的心如此，明知道這個孩子如此不孝，不願意奉養她，還一路做記號，怕他兒子找不到路回去。他兒子這時才良心發現深受感動，就把母親背了回去。我們世間上有一句話：「父母愛兒長江水，兒愛父母不如一根扁擔長。」相信在座許多長輩，都會有同感。
兒女孝順父母都是有限的，不像父母疼孩子一生一世。兒子都七、八十歲了，還當他是幼兒一般，怕他寒、怕他餓，很煩惱。有的老人會怨歎：「我都七老八十了，兒女都不孝順我！」愈想愈難過，愈想愈煩惱。其實，我們人和人之間，二個人之間就有一個「道」。「道」就是我們要走的道路，像父親和兒子之間，就有「父子道」，兄弟之間就有「悌道」，出家人和在家居士之間也有「道」。而我們做人要「盡道」，不要「討道」。
「討道」就是向對方討這個道理。例如，父母要盡「慈道」，不要向兒女討「孝順道」，因為你如果討不到，就會起煩惱。兒女自己要盡「孝順道」，不要向父母討要對他好的「慈道」。同樣的，出家人盡出家人的「道」--誦經、修行，不能向居士討供養、化緣；要不到，就會起煩惱。居士就是盡本份護持三寶，不能要求出家人--你要為我說法，你要做好出家人的本份。只能各盡自己的「道」，不能討對方的「道」。每個人盡自己的「道」，這世界就沒有煩惱、沒有戰爭。再說，各位長者都為家裏奉獻了一生，照顧兒女長大，有了孫子，又要煩惱孫子要不要成家？煩惱到頭髮都白了。您不如把時間留給自己，想想自己要行什麼「道」？要行「菩薩道」，將我們的心放開，不要一天到晚生氣兒女不孝順。
心要放下、放大，像今天「敬老節」，要想有多少人來這邊護法，有多少年輕人，像自己的孩子一樣，來照顧我們年長的人。將內心放大，讓內心像大海一樣；以前只關心自己的孩子，現在要去關心一切的眾生。為什麼呢？人和人之間要有一種感恩的心，好像這次法會的佈置、煮的齋菜，都是很多人成就的，插的花，使用的燈、桌子等，都是有種植和製作的人，我們生活在這個世間，受到很多眾生的恩，所以我們要有感恩的心、要有報恩的心。有感恩的心，對每個人就會生起慈悲心，自己的心就快樂，每天歡歡喜喜，做一位歡喜菩薩，心情就會開朗，身體就會健康，生活也會有意義。有人說：「做菩薩要護持、要布施，我也沒有錢，怎麼辦？」有一句話說：我們沒有錢，但是我們有「口」，「口」不要說是非，要說讚歎別人的話。隨喜功德，別人歡喜，我們也歡喜。所以我希望各位年長的貴賓歡歡喜喜來參加「敬老節」，也要用歡喜心來行「菩薩道」。
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First of all, I’d like to tell a story. In ancient times, there was a young man whose mother was very old; she was in her seventies and eighties. After this young man was married, his mother became incapable of eating and walking by herself due to old age. She had to rely on others to care for her. Since her health was no longer fair, the young man started to dislike his mother. One day, he told her, “Mother, I would like to take you to the mountains!” Carrying his mother on his back, he walked through a forest. His mother used sticks to mark the paths. For every section of the trail they traveled, she would drop a stick as a sign. The son took the mother to a mountain quite far from home. When the sun began to set, he mercilessly said, “Mother, you are too old for me to take care of you. I am leaving you here and I’d like to head home now!” His mother said, “My child! The sky is dark already. You have taken me to such a distant place. I was worried that you would not be able to find your way home, so I have marked the roads for you. Just look for the sticks as signs, and you will make it home!”
Such are the hearts of parents: even though she knew her son was totally unfilial and unwilling to look after her, she was concerned that he could not find his way home and marked the trails for him. Her son was very touched by what she had done and took her home after all. We have a Chinese proverb: “Parents’ love for their children is as deep and longlasting as the water in the Yangtze River. Children’s love for their parents cannot compare to the length of a carrying pole [propped on the shoulders to carry baskets].” I believe those elders sitting here today must feel the same way.
Unlike the love parents have for children, the filial piety a child can have towards parents is very limited. Even when their sons are in their seventies and eighties, parents still tend to treat them like children and worry that they are cold or hungry. Some elders may sigh and say, “I am in my seventies and eighties, yet my son never is filial or pays any respect to me!” The more we think about it, the more afflicted and upset we get. Actually, there is a ‘Dao’, a prescribed Way, for the interaction between people. The ‘Dao’ is the path we walk on. For example, between a son and a father, there is a the Dao of the father and son. Between brothers, there is a Dao between an elder brother and a younger brother. There is also a Dao between a left home person and a lay person. However, as human beings, we should practice the Dao ourselves rather than seeking the Dao in others.
‘Seeking the Dao in others’ refers to expecting others to be a certain way. For example, the parents should practice the Dao of compassion instead of asking the children to practice the Dao of filial piety. Very often, when we fail to receive respect or filial piety from our children, we become afflicted. Sons and daughters should practice filial piety and not expect parents to practice kindness as their duty. The same principle applies to left home people, who should fulfill their Dao by reciting sutras and cultivating. Do not seek offerings from laity. When we do not receive the offerings we have anticipated, we also get afflicted. The laity’s fundamental responsibility is to protect and support the Triple Jewel; however, we cannot force left home people to speak Dharma for us. The monastic should take up the monastic responsibilities and practice what we are expected to do. We shall not seek the Dao from others but rather practice our own Dao. As long as everyone walks the Way and practices the Dao, afflictions will vanish and wars will cease. Moreover, an elder who has dedicated his/her entire life to the family and taken care of the children who have grown up and have their own kids, now worries whether or not the grandchildren will marry. Or this elder thinks about matters such as: should the grandchildren find himself or herself a girlfriend or a boyfriend? One worries until one’s hair turns gray. We elders are aged now. We should allow ourselves some personal time and think about how we should cultivate the Way. We must cultivate the Bodhisattva’s Way and open our hearts. Do not be angry at the disrespectful and disobedient children who are never home. We should set these thoughts aside, expand our minds and broaden our horizons. Today is Honoring Elders Day. Think about how many people have shown up to support this event. How many young people are here to serve us just like our own children? Let’s expand our minds until they as vast as the ocean. In the past, we only cared about our own offspring. Now it’s time to learn to care for all living beings. Why? We must appreciate people. The decoration of this hall and the vegetarian food eaten today are made possible by many people. The flowers, lights and desks are made possible by the flower growers and other manufacturers.
Living in this world, we receive so much kindness from others. Therefore, we should repay this kindness by being grateful. When we appreciate others, we give rise to compassion that in turn produces joy in our hearts. Everyday, we should be happy and be joyful Bodhisattvas. Naturally, our hearts will open up, our bodies will be healthy and eventually our lives will be more meaningful. Some say, “As a Bodhisattva, one should support the Wayplace and practice the giving of offerings.” However, if one has no money to offer, what happens? A saying goes like this: Though we have no money, we have mouths which can refrain from gossipping and praise others instead. We can rejoice in various kinds of merit and virtue. When others are happy, our minds will expand and become joyous. Therefore, I hope that all elders are happy participating in Honoring Elders Day and have joyful hearts to practice the Bodhisattva Path.
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