我叫梁靜文,原籍山東,在臺灣生長,現住英國,從小受洗為基督徒,一心想當修女。長大後,看多了「禮拜天的基督徒」,不禁心生疑惑,逐漸開始與佛教徒有接觸,發現臺灣的佛教是佛道不分的現象,也弄得一頭霧水,不知何去何從。
1988年看到上人在臺弘法的新聞,忍不住去看看;一到現場,已擠滿了人,那次是從頭站到尾。看到臺上的上人時,深受震撼,有似曾相識之感。當天上人打皈依,自己覺得這麼好的善知識,一定要到美國行三步一拜禮求皈依,不願跟一大堆人,鬧哄哄地一起皈依。一念之差,竟錯過皈依上人的機會。等我到美國,已是七年之後,時上人已住院;再見到時,上人已入涅槃。
有一次做噩夢,情急下喊了一聲「觀音菩薩救我」,即刻得解危清醒。事後朋友告訴我,我與觀音菩薩有緣。陸續又皈依了三位師父,因聽人講皈依師父越多越好,自己什麼都不懂,自是依教奉行。
又有一次夢中看見餐廳廚師當面斬雞,一剁雞頭就出現一個人頭,再剁雞腿又出現一條人腿,嚇得從此吃素。
1994年陪兒子赴英倫讀書,隔年在一座佛寺裡借了幾本佛書回去看。其中一本是《妙法蓮華經》,讀到第三品時,不由自主地跪在地上嚎啕大哭,邊哭邊念誦完一部經。以後兩天再誦,也是這樣從頭哭到尾,第四天才不哭。為了這部經,我特地飛到臺灣去請了一部回英國,從此不論到哪個國家,這部經是不離身的。
那次回臺灣,母親因為我吃素,準備了新的用具,以便另行煮食。哪知好幾天晚飯後腹瀉。心想是該持午的時候了?果然,不吃晚飯以後就不瀉了。起初怕營養不夠,怕晚上餓,結果吃得胃痛得不得了。我想可能是該日中一食的時候了!自從實行日中一食之後,不但營養沒有不良,身體竟越來越好,體重還增加了呢!
後來想找楞嚴咒的錄音帶,聽人說到萬佛城,才又想起上人,因此來到美國長堤聖寺,那時上人已住院。在上人生日時求皈依,由弟子代打皈依。皈依前禮佛時,我哭得涕淚泗流,恨自己福薄緣淺,自己耽誤了七年。
細想自己學佛,幸有佛菩薩指引,才一步步走上路,只是障重,總是慢一拍,常當面錯過;也因難求難得--得來不易,我才學會珍惜。我有個心願,想先從推廣素食開始,希望將來有能力在歐洲建立道場,將正信的佛教帶到歐洲。
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My name is Julia Liang. My family came from Shandong Province. I was born in Taiwan and currently reside in England. As a child, I was baptized as a Christian and resolved to become a nun. After growing up, I had doubts when I saw the many Christians who were Christians on Sunday only, and so I started to approach Buddhism. However, seeing the ambiguity between Buddhism and Taoism in Taiwan, I became confused and did not know what to believe.
In 1988, seeing an announcement that the Venerable Master Hua was speaking Dharma in Taiwan, I went to attend the Dharma assembly. It was so crowded that I had to stand the whole time. The sight of the Venerable Master on stage was both overwhelming and familiar. That day, the Venerable Master transmitted the Three Refuges, but I felt that with such a great teacher, I had to go to the United States and practice “three steps, one bow” to request refuge. I didn’t want to take refuge in that noisy crowd. Due to that wrong thought, I missed the chance to take refuge with the Venerable Master. Seven years later, I came to the U.S. but the Venerable Master was in the hospital. When I saw him again, he had already entered nirvana.
One time in a bad dream, out of nowhere, I cried out “Guanyin Bodhisattva, save me!” and instantly escaped the difficulty. Later, a friend told me that I have an affinity with Guanyin Bodhisattva. Subsequently, I took refuge with three masters because I had heard people say that the more teachers, the better. I didn’t know any better than to follow other people’s advice.
One time I dreamed that I was in a restaurant. The chef was cutting up a chicken. He chopped off the head and a human head appeared; he chopped off the leg and a human leg appeared. I was so scared that I became a vegetarian from then on.
In 1994, I accompanied my son to England to study. The following year I borrowed several Buddhist books from a temple. One of them was the
Dharma Flower Sutra. When I was reading Chapter Three, suddenly I dropped to my knees and sobbed piteously. I finished chanting the sutra while crying. For the next two days while I chanted the sutra, I also cried from beginning to end. It was not until the fourth day that I stopped crying. I flew to Taiwan especially to get a copy of this sutra. Since then, no matter where I go, I bring this sutra with me.On that trip to Taiwan, my mother bought all kinds of cooking utensils to fix vegetarian food for me. Who would have guessed that after dinner, I had diarrhea for several days. I had an insight and decided not to eat after noontime. Sure enough, the diarrhea stopped. At first, I feared I wouldn’t have enough nutrition and afraid of being hungry at night, I forced myself to eat and got a stomachache. Finally, I realized that it was time to practice eating one meal a day! Since I began practicing this, I have been healthier and have even gained weight!
In trying to find a Shurangama Mantra chanting tape, I heard about the City of Ten Thousand Buddhas again. Thinking of the Venerable Master, I went to Long Beach Monastery, but the Master had already been hospitalized and later passed away. On his birthday, his left-home disciple held a refuge ceremony on his behalf. During the bowing before the ceremony, I cried bitterly, lamenting my slim blessings and my shallow affinities with the Master. I had wasted seven years without seeing him in the end.
In reflecting upon my study of Buddhism, it seems that the Bodhisattvas have guided me bit by bit along the path. However, because of my heavy karma, I have always been one step behind. Yet this suits my temperament—I only cherish what is difficult to come by. I am determined to propagate vegetarian food first and if I am able, I wish to establish a Way-place in Europe, so that the sagely teaching will be brought to Europe.
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