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果芳師﹕阿彌陀佛。
今天我談談我學佛的一些心路歷程，是很辛苦的。大約在六年前皈依三寶，拜了師父。那個師父，只教我們念佛。我那時候年輕不懂事，好高騖遠，自以為「只念佛，哪有那麼簡單？學佛一定還有很多東西，很複雜的。」現代的人多半都崇拜學問，迷信名氣，我於是開始去尋訪明師。我就找到了一個由在家居士所辦的佛學院。進去唸了三個月，因為自己程度低跟不上，就被調到辦公室去打雜。
這位在家居士提倡要吃葷，不要吃素。為什麼呢？他理由很簡單，他說：「我們人類幾百年以來就是直接從這些肉食動物身上取得營養，而不是直接從這些菜類取得營養的。如果吃菜只是取得間接營養，所以要吃葷。在家居士又不像出家人整天盤腿打坐，只吃素菜營養不夠，所以要吃肉。」他甚至主張男人要多妻，為什麼？「因為十年之後，夫妻就沒戲唱了，如果先生另結新歡，跟妳離婚，妳還要出去找工作，還不如就乖乖地跟著先生。」
最可怕的就是修所謂的「雙修法」，因為大家都急著打通氣脈有所成就，他說「雙修法」可以打通氣脈。我才突然發現到，原來所有這些辦公室的女孩子們跟他都在修雙修法，不但是在家女居士，也有的是有夫之婦；甚至於連十六、七歲的高中女生他都不放過。當我發現這個事實之後非常震驚，就離開了這個地方。因為心裏很痛苦，也很難過，也就離開了佛教有兩年之久。結果也許跟佛緣還是很深，後來心想這是人的過錯，並不是佛教有什麼不對，又慢慢就再回到佛教。
不久經過同事的介紹，認識了一位住在居士家中的法師。我當時就問我同事，為什麼這個法師是在居士家住呢？他回答說﹕「因為他悟道了，所以廟裏頭的人都排擠他、嫉妒他、容不下他，所以他住在居士家受供養。」同事還建議我每個月要供養他兩千塊錢，當時能力還能負擔得起，所以也很同意。這個法師我第一次供養之後，他就送了我一副降魔杵和鈴；再接下去，他送我香水。我很奇怪給香水是做什麼？「供佛用！」我覺得供佛也對；再來他就送我戒子，他說﹕「戒子加持過了，保你平安。」再下來泰戈爾的小說、屠格涅夫的小說。當時自己很幼稚，認為這法師很入世，跟別人都不同的，所以都接受了。
有一陣子我經常頭痛，他告訴我說﹕「唉呀！你有災，我幫你消災。」做弟子的為了表示感恩，當然要包紅包供養了，每次錢數也是不少。那時候我在餐廳裏晚間工作，下班很晚。他有時候也會跑到餐廳看看我，我也是會包個紅包給他。後來，他直截了當開口要兩百萬臺幣，我根本就沒辦法負擔得起了。我就請教朋友；她說﹕「你自己要注意了，這不是真正的出家人。」當天他又來送我一個蔣公的銀幣。我朋友說：「這很明顯的是叫你要送錢去了。」嚇得我再也不敢跟他見面，連我的同事也不跟他講話了。因為學佛的人多半有個誠心，很尊重出家人，也很信任學佛的一些在家居士，我相信有部份人士也是會碰到假的善知識。我說出自己的經歷是供大家做一個參考、警惕。
經歷過這些之後，我才接觸到真正的正法。看到了師父上人的開示錄，知道了六大宗旨。記得我第一天到萬佛聖城，正是在上對聯課。對聯第一句話就是「直心、直言、直行、無諸委曲相」，當時我好感動、好感動。為什麼？因為在開始學佛的時候自以為佛教非常複雜，一定有很多花樣在裏頭，卻不知道最簡單最基本的其實就是最後的最直達的。有人提到萬佛城是苦修的道場、很苦，但是想學佛而找不到真正修行的師父才是真苦。誠如上人教誨我們，不要學修密。密、密、密，最後師父連徒弟一起「密」到地獄去了。阿彌陀佛！
上人﹕各位善知識晚安。在四書〈中庸〉有這麼幾句話說﹕「人皆曰予知；驅而納諸罟擭陷阱之中，而莫之知辟也。」這是說一般人都說自己有智慧，不承認自己是愚癡。雖然自以為有智慧，可是被人騙得下到地獄去，有些陷阱也就等於地獄一樣，他也不知道躲避。你說這是有智慧還是沒有智慧？
學佛的人一定要有真正的智慧。真正智慧從什麼地方能產生出來？是從正知正見產生出來。所謂正知正見是什麼？就是不要貪慕虛榮，不要喜新好異。你好奇的心一生出來，奇怪的事情也就跟著發生了。奇怪的事情是什麼？就是邪知邪見，邪師說法。你本來學佛想要學智慧，結果愈學愈愚癡，愈學愈迷惑，愈學你的無明就愈重，愈學你的智慧就減輕了；智慧減輕就跟著愚癡跑，跑來跑去跑到地獄去。為什麼會跑到地獄去？就因為愚癡沒有擇法眼，沒有正知正見。要有正知正見首先要省察清楚自己的思想，不要生出一種貪心，不生出一種僥倖心，要老老實實，直心是道場。以直心來求法，不要以彎曲心來求法。你以直心求法就是正法；你以彎曲心求法就是邪法。所謂「正人行邪法，邪法也是正；邪人行正法，正法也是邪。」不是法邪，是人邪了；也不是法正，而是人正了，這正是學佛的人應該具有的根本條件。
為什麼走錯路？就因為有貪心。為什麼墮地獄去？就因為有貪心。貪什麼？貪快，貪速效。世界上任何的事情也不能不勞而獲。你存了一個僥倖心，以為是佔便宜了，結果一定吃大虧。好像你賭錢，賭錢的人都希望贏錢，可是結果房子連地都輸了。甚至於輸得沒有飯吃，沒有褲子穿，睡覺也沒有地方了。你說這是苦不苦？就因為一念的貪欲，令自己身敗名裂，連一個安身處也沒有，這是賭錢。
我們學佛的人不要貪圖什麼法是最好。一般人的見解就以為密宗是最快的法門，立竿見影，當下見功。我告訴你們一個祕密法，六祖大師和惠明大師兩個人的問答。惠明大師就說﹕「上來所說的這個道理仍有密意否？」六祖大師說﹕「密在汝邊，於汝說者即非密也。」能說出來的那就不是密法。密法是言語道斷，心行處滅；言語這個道路都斷了，就是說不出來了。所謂「口欲言而辭喪，心欲緣而慮亡。」你想也想不到這個境界，不是用貪心來得的，你用貪心來得根本就是大錯特錯。
學佛的人最怕的是有貪心。一有貪心就會走火入魔，結果不可收拾。不知不覺就跑到那個黑窟窿裏去了；跑到黑窟窿裏，既無日光又無月光，心光更沒有了，燈光也看不見，一點光明也沒有，就是黑暗，這都是有貪心所造成的。你真能不貪，你應該得到的一定會得到，不要用貪心去求去。密宗裏頭最害人的就是恣行淫欲，所謂「修雙身法」。這一修雙身法當然雙身了，小孩子都生出來了。這真是糟蹋佛教！真是破壞佛教！真是影響佛教！這就是魔王混到佛教裏邊來，令佛教徒不守戒律，不守佛教的制度。
待續
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Gwo Fang Shr:
Amitofo. Let me report on some of my thoughts as I study Buddhism. For one, it’s been hard. I took refuge with the Triple Jewel about six years ago and followed a teacher who taught us to recite the Buddha’s name. I was still young and didn’t know much then, so I thought, “How could it be as easy as just reciting the Buddha’s name? Buddhism must be more complex than that.” I was overly ambitious and began to search for a teacher who “understood”. At that time, people mostly worshipped knowledge and were superstitious about reputation. My frantic search led me to a Buddhist Academy organized by a layperson. After studying for three months, I was sent to do chores in the office because my level was too low to keep up with the rest of the class.
Let me report on some of the theories espoused by this layperson. He encouraged people to eat meat rather than be vegetarian. Why? His reason was simple. He said that for several hundred years, the human race has been acquiring nutrition directly from these meat-eating animals and not from vegetables. Vegetarians acquire nutrients indirectly. Therefore we should eat meat. Also, since laypeople do not just sit cross-legged and meditate all day long like monks and nuns, we don’t have enough nutrients, so we must eat meat. Furthermore, he encouraged polygamy. Why? It is because nothing occurs between the couple after they’ve been together for ten years. Instead of getting rid of the wife, the wife might as well subserviently follow her husband instead of going out to hunt for a job.
The scariest part was that they cultivated Tantric practices for couples. I believe people have heard of this. He said that the reason this practice for couples is used is because you can break through barriers in your energy channels. Since everyone was in a hurry to do that, I discovered all the girls in the office had been practicing this couples-method with him, including sixteen or seventeen year old high school girls. Not only single women, but married women did it too. I was alarmed when I learned about this and left the place. Since I was hurt a lot by this, I avoided Buddhism for more than two years. Perhaps because I have some very deep affinities with the Buddhas, I gradually returned to Buddhism, thinking that people, not Buddhism, were to blame for the happenings there.
Later, a long-time coworker of mine introduced me to a Dharma Master who lived at a layperson’s house. I raised this question: why is this left-home Dharma Master living in a layperson’s house? He responded, “Since he had realized the Way, everyone in his temple treated him like an outcast. They were jealous and couldn’t accept him. Hence he stays at a layperson’s house to accept offerings.” Initially, I agreed to make an offering of NT$2,000 a month to him because that’s what I could afford at the time. After my first offering, this Dharma Master gave me a pair of demon-subduing pestles and bells. Later it was perfume. I thought it was strange, “What’s the perfume for?” “It’s an offering to the Buddha!” I thought, okay, making offerings to the Buddha is the right thing to do. The next gift was a ring. He said, “This ring has been blessed and will keep you safe.” After that there were novels by Tagore and Turgenev. I was very naïve at the time, thinking that this Dharma Master was very worldly, different from others.
Later, I had frequent headaches for a period of time. He then told me, “Ah, you’re experiencing some disasters. Let me quell your disasters.” Of course as a disciple, one should then make an offering of money placed in a red envelope. The amount should not be small either. At that time, I worked in a restaurant late into the night and sometimes got off work quite late. Sometimes he came to the restaurant to see me too! I also gave him a red envelope [every time he visited]. Later it became more serious. He asked me directly for two million Taiwanese dollars. There was no way I could afford that, so I asked a female friend of mine. She told me, “You should be careful; this is not a real monk.” Later that day he actually presented me with a silver dollar of Chiang Kaishek. My classmate said this was obviously a hint about giving him money. I was so terrified that I dared not see him again. Even my colleagues stopped talking to him.
The reason I report these two things is that I believe some people have also encountered deviant dharma. These experiences I share are for your reference. They also serve as a warning for most students of Buddhism who are sincere, respectful to monks and nuns, and trusting of laypeople who study Buddhism.
After these experiences, I began to have contact with the real proper Dharma. When I read the Venerable Master’s instructional talks, I learned the six great principles. I remember how the matching couplets class was in session the day that I went to the City of Ten Thousand Buddhas. The first line of the couplet was “A straightforward mind, straightforward speech, and straightforward action free us from all crookedness.” I was so moved. Why? When I first began to learn about Buddhism, I thought Buddhism was so complex, filled with lots of tricks. I never knew that the simplest and most basic teaching would also be the final and direct truth. Some people had mentioned that the City of Ten Thousand Buddhas is a Way-place for ascetic practices. It’s very hard. But what is truly hard is to not find a teacher who truly cultivates. Just as the Venerable Master taught us, don’t learn to cultivate secret practices: secret, secret, so secret that the teacher and disciples all end up in the hells because of their secret. Amitofo!
Venerable Master:
All good advisors, good evening. In the
Doctrine of the Mean, one of the four Chinese classics, there are these lines, “People claim to be intelligent, and yet they don’t know to avoid nets, snares, and traps when they’re being driven into them.” Most people claim that they’re wise and not dumb. Although they are wise, they don’t know when they’re being chased into the hells. Traps are equivalent to the hells. Is it wise that they don’t know how to avoid them?
People studying Buddhism must have true wisdom. Where does true wisdom come from? It’s from proper knowledge and proper views. What are proper knowledge and proper views? They are about not being greedy for admiration and empty glory and not craving that which is novel and different. When you’re curious, strange occurrences begin to take place. What strange phenomenon? Deviant knowledge, deviant views, and dharma spoken by deviant masters. You wanted to study Buddhism to learn about wisdom, but you end up becoming more and more stupid, confused, and ignorant. The more you learn, the more your wisdom diminishes. With less wisdom, you run after foolishness until you run into the hells. Why do you run into the hells? It is because you are foolish. You are incapable of choosing the right Dharma. You don’t have proper knowledge and views. To have proper knowledge and views, you must first examine your thinking until you’re clear. Don’t be greedy or think that you’re particularly lucky. You must be honest and know that the straightforward mind is the Bodhimanda. Seek the Dharma with a straightforward mind rather than a twisted mind. If you were to seek Dharma with straightforwardness, that itself would be the proper Dharma. If you were to request dharma out of perversity, that itself would be the evil Dharma. As it is said, “Even the evil dharma becomes proper when a proper person practices it. Likewise, the proper Dharma becomes evil when an evil person practices it.” It’s not that the Dharma is evil, but that the person is evil. It’s not that the Dharma is proper, but that the person is proper. This is a basic requirement for someone studying Buddhism.
Why do you walk down the wrong path? It is because of greed. Why do you fall into the hells? It is because of greed. What are you greedy for? You’re greedy for speed and efficiency. Nothing in this world comes about for free. Once you consider yourself lucky for getting a bargain, you will definitely end up losing out. It is just like how gamblers all hope to win but end up losing their houses and land. They lose so much that they have no food to eat, no pants to wear, and no place to sleep. Isn’t that miserable? It is because of one thought of greed that they ruin themselves so that they have no place to stay. That is to gamble.
For those of us who are learning Buddhism, we should avoid being greedy for the best method. Most people have the perspective that the Secret School is the quickest dharma practice to immediate results. I will tell you a secret dharma. This is a conversation between Six Patriarch the Great Master and the Great Master Huiming.
Great Master Huiming said, “Is there any hidden meaning in the principles that you spoke of earlier?”
Sixth Patriarch the Great Master said, “What is hidden is within. If you say it, then it would be no secret.”
The secret Dharma is apart from language and ends the activities of the mind. You can’t verbalize it. “You wish to speak about it but words cease. Your mind desires conditions yet deliberations die.” You cannot imagine this state. It’s certainly not a result of greed. If you attain it by being greedy, then it must be a grave mistake at the most fundamental level.
Those learning about Buddhism should be most afraid of greed. They would enter demonic fires if they were greedy. The result is beyond repair—without realizing it, they plunge into the depths of an abyss. The black hole has no sunlight or moonlight, not to mention starlight or electric lights. There’s not a bit of brightness, only darkness. This results from greed. If you were really free of greed, then you would definitely attain what you were meant to attain. There’s no need to seek for anything out of greed. The most harmful practice in the Secret School is Tantric practice for couples, which permits people to indulge in lust. Once you cultivate the practice for couples, you obviously will have a couple, a couple of kids that is. This is about ruining and destroying Buddhism! This negative influence on Buddhism means that demon kings are undercover in Buddhism now; that’s why Buddhists do not adhere to the precepts and the regulations of Buddhism.
To be continued
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