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《菩提田》

 

BODHI FIELD

點點滴滴憶上人
                                                          Memories of the Venerable Master

                                 

懷念上人 · 追思母親
IN MEMORY OF THE VENERABLE MASTER AND OF My MOTHER

                               張果遷 寫於2000年7月24日 WRITTEN BY TERESA TSAI ON JULY 24, 2001
吳星燁英譯  ENGLISH TRANSLATION BY SHIRLEY WU  

今年在萬佛城參加紀念上人涅槃六週年,暨慶祝聖城成立廿五週年回來後,我感觸良多。記得1983年初我皈依了上人,就常去位於十五街的金山禪寺向上人請益,告訴上人我曾是天主教徒,中學、大學都在天主教學校念書,于斌樞機主教還主持了我的婚禮,還把和于樞機的合照給上人看。上人提到曾向于樞機建議他做天主教裏的佛教徒,上人自己則願做佛教裏的天主教徒。我聽後覺得上人和一般人不一樣,他的心量是多麼廣大!我提起母親的身體,上人表示歡迎她來萬佛城住,並會安排人照顧她。記得有次我對上人說,「我希望母親能信佛。」上人答,「那要看妳了;看妳怎麼感化她了。」我想這怎麼可能?母親很固執。

84年我返臺,母親告訴我一件不可思議的事:她去看朋友,這家有個小佛堂,在她參觀這小佛堂時,突然看到白牆上出現了許多小佛像,隨後又現出一位長臉戴帽子的人像。我回到金山禪寺後,在聽課時我忽然明白了,母親看到的境界不正是萬佛城的萬佛殿和上人嗎?於是我稟告上人,上人答,「我不願意讚歎自己。」

85年,金山禪寺搬到中國城 (即現今之金山聖寺) 我去拜見上人,上人又說: 「我會完全照顧妳母親,每月給她五十元。」我心中感激,卻回答:「無功不受祿 。」返臺時帶回上人加持過的大悲水,母親喝了,微斜的嘴就好了。

88年,我遷至洛杉磯,十八年後退休,在家學做旅行業;請示上人,上人點頭說,「多幫助人! 」那幾年我安排了法師們許多國內外的機票。89年,我接母親來美時,上人說,「妳要受苦囉! 」我明白大慈大悲的上人,會要替我分擔及為我解決困難,這份恩德,永生難忘。 

母親來美後,需用walker(助行器),平時只能坐著,三餐茶水要人擺在面前,久病情緒不好,常向我宣洩。多年來我有個心願,如果母親生前不信佛,至少在她臨終時我能為她念佛。一次我將念佛機擺在母親桌上,第二天去看她時,房裏傳來念佛聲,此後她常常安詳地聽著佛號。

去年(2000)八月中旬,醫生宣布母親已到末期。十月十七日我打電話向實法師求救,下午實法師的妹妹及方嘉華夫婦來念佛號及《地藏經》一部,我看到母親顏面充滿歡喜。母親那月廿三號清晨往生,我跪在母親床邊,禮佛三拜,願她此生了了罪業。方嘉華夫婦又趕來,念佛八小時,母親面色潤澤,帶微笑。瑞法師說,上人曾講過亡者用蓮花被 (不用陀羅尼被,因上有往生咒),我立刻請來換上。

數天後,有事到母親家,奇妙的是進門即聽到母親房裏傳來陣陣的念佛聲,而這房子幾天前就已空無人住了。我心想給母親做七七,來到金山寺,隨手拿了一份《智慧之源》就看到了上人的開示,明確教導如何做七七,正是對我說法,我於是照著開示圓滿做完七七。弟子問,師父答,不正是感應道交?   

上人的話又在耳邊響起,「那要看妳了,看妳怎麼感化她了。」 我想告訴上人,我做了,雖然做的不很好,但己盡心。這是我一生中做的最有意義的事。

我曾問上人,「什麼是佛? 」上人答:「什麼都沒有! 」如果有人問,「上人是誰? 」我想我會答,「上人是盡虛空,遍法界,無所不在,處處都在的。」

 

 

 


After attending the 6th anniversary of the Venerable Master's Nirvana and the 25th anniversary of the City of Ten Thousand Buddhas, I was filled with inspiration. I recall when I took refuge with the Master at Gold Mountain Monastery on 15th Street in 1983. I told the Master I was Catholic and had attended Catholic school since junior high. Paul Cardinal Yubin had presided over my wedding and was in several photos with me. I showed the Master those photos. The Master mentioned that he had suggested to Cardinal Yubin that he be a Buddhist in Catholicism and the Master himself could be a Catholic in Buddhism. When I heard that, I realized the Master was an extraordinary person with a magnanimous heart! When I told the Master about my mother's poor health, he said my mother could come live in the City and he would assign someone to take care of her. I once told the Master my wish that my mother could become a Buddhist. The Master replied, "It's all up to you to influence her." I thought this was impossible, for my mother was very stubborn.  

In 1984, I went back to Taiwan. My mother told me something inconceivable: She had gone to visit an old friend. When she was looking around in the small Buddha hall in her friend's house, she saw lots of small Buddha statues suddenly appear on the wall, followed by a man with a rather long face wearing a cap. Upon returning to Gold Mountain Monastery, I realized that my mother had seen the Buddha Hall in the City of Ten Thousand Buddhas! And the man she saw was the Master! When I told the Master about this, he replied, "I do not wish to praise myself."

In 1985, Gold Mountain Monastery moved to Chinatown. When I visited, the Master said to me, "I will take full care of your mother, and give her fifty dollars every month." I was deeply grateful, but declined. I brought Great Compassion Water blessed by the Master back to Taiwan, and my mother's distorted mouth was cured after she drank it.

In 1988, I moved back to Los Angeles. After 18 years of work, I retired and stayed home and tried to learn to be a travel agent. When I asked the Master for advice, the Master nodded and said, "Help others." That year I helped many Dharma Masters get international flight tickets.

In 1989, I brought my mother to the United States. The Master told me, "You are going to experience some suffering." I knew that the Master would help me through these difficulties with his great compassion. I'll never forget his great kindness.  

Ever since her arrival in the United States, my mother has used a walker. Most of the time she just sits in her chair. We always bring her meals to her. She is cranky and complains a lot due to her chronic illness. I always hoped that even if my mother did not become a Buddhist, at least I could recite the Buddha's name for her when she passes away. One day I placed a recitation tape in her room. When I visited her the next day, the sound of the recitation came out of the room.  Afterwards, she often listened to the recitation peacefully.  

Last year (2000) around mid-August, the doctor announced that my mother was in the final stage of cancer. On October 17th, I called Dharma Master Heng Sure for help. That very afternoon, Dharma Master Heng Sure's sister and Mr. and Mrs. Fang came to recite the Earth Store Sutra and the Buddha's name for my mother. My mother's face was full of joy. She passed away on the morning of August 23rd. I knelt by her bedside and bowed to the Buddha three times, wishing and vowing that my mother's offenses would end during this lifetime. Mr. and Mrs. Fang rushed to my mother's deathbed and recited for eight hours. My mother's face was slightly yellow with a slight smile. Dharma Master Ruey said that the Master has mentioned that the corpse should be covered with a "lotus sheet" instead of a "Dharani sheet," because the latter has the rebirth mantra on it, so I immediately did as I was told.

A few days later, I went to my mother's house. As I walked in, I heard the sound of the recitation tape coming from her room. However, the house was empty. I wanted to perform a 49-day ceremony for my mother, so I went to Gold Mountain Monastery. While I was there, I casually picked up a copy of Source of Wisdom and scanned through the articles. In one article, the Master explained how to properly perform a 49-day ceremony to help the deceased. I was amazed! It was just the right thing for me! Thus I performed the ceremony as the Master instructed. What a response! A disciple had a question, and the Master answered it.

The Master's words came to me again, "It's all up to you to influence her." I wanted to tell the Master, "I tried my best, and it was the most meaningful thing in my life."

I had asked the Master before, "What is the Buddha?" The Master answered, "Nothingness." If someone were to ask me, "Who is the Master?" my answer would be, "The Master exists throughout space and the Dharma Realm, ubiquitous and all-pervasive."

Venerable Master’s Dharma Words What does the Bodhi mind look like? Basically, it has no shape or form. It is simply the path to enlightenment.

 

 

 

上人語錄 Venerable Master's Dharma Words
若問菩提心像個什麼樣子?本來它是無形無相,只是個覺道。
What does the Bodhi mind look like? Basically,
it has no shape or form. It is simply the path to enlightenment.

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