孫立:
師父上人、諸位法師、諸位善知識,阿彌陀佛!
我叫孫立,首先至誠感恩為圓滿成就這次《萬佛寶懺》法會辛勤付出的法師及居士們。
拜《萬佛寶懺》是聖城一大特色,非常難尋難遇,我不敢說聖城是僅有的道場,舉辦這二十三天的法會,但我確信是世間稀有的,本人非常慶幸能夠參加這次大法會。在整個拜懺過程中,幾次懺悔的淚水糢糊了雙眼,自己像是做了很多壞事的孩子,祈求母親諒解。這時才真正感受到佛菩薩的大慈大悲,給我們這麼好的法門,給我們消除從無始劫來所造的無量無邊的罪業。
這次在禮拜過程中,我有時拜得很投入,感到輕安,時而聞到異香,一炷香好像一轉眼就到了。當我拜佛時,一個念頭落下,下一尊佛相應的就有一種開示,好像我的想法,佛菩薩都知道。打個比方,我的念頭很多很亂時,那麼下一尊拜的正好是「南無清淨心佛」,頓時我的妄想就停了,也心收回來了。可是,有時候精神難集中,看幾次錶,一炷香怎麼這麼長!雜念妄想也一個個出現。承仰佛的不可思議大威德,把我內心五花八門惡的種子震發出來,正像恒實法師講的,是清理我們心裡的垃圾。
在法會中,我受到了一次考驗,讓我更進一步了解自己,並從中領悟到一個真理。
事情是這樣的,星期二晚課前,我看到一位從三藩市來的居士在哭,原來她母親那天做白內障手術。她原以為她父親可以照料,可沒有想到父親高血壓病突發,兩位老人家身邊都沒有親人。這位居士得到消息後非常著急,可自己又不會開車,無法立刻回去。當時有位居士就建議她坐第二天的巴士回三藩市,我說了幾句安慰的話,就離開了。可是晚課時,無意中發現她還一直哭。我當時很想過去對她說,「不要太難過,我可以開車送妳回去。」可是晚課正進行中,我不能動。我心裡開始計算時間,晚課一結束我們馬上走,當晚十點半左右就能到了。
這時晚課已開始繞佛了,我也隨著大眾念阿彌陀佛,可心裡卻展開了激烈的鬥爭,一個聲音冒出來,「這麼難得拜全程《萬佛懺》,不能圓滿多可惜呀!」另一個聲音說,「哎呀!真的太累了。今天叩了六百多個頭,兩條腿重得像有一千斤重,拖不動了,再開三個多小時的車,怎麼受得了?」另一個聲音又跳出來,「如果真的很急,城外不是有專門接送人的嗎?付點錢就解決問題了。」想著想著,就歸位了;晚課結束了,我的討論會也告一段落,我沒幫她。
第二天第一炷香開始,我拜下去,怎麼感到頭重腳輕,失去平衡,而且越來越嚴重?我只好跪下來,可是頭不敢往下拜,感覺暈天轉地,而且還想吐。我跪在那裡,強忍到第一炷香結束,踉蹌回房躺下來,心裡懊惱極了。
這時昨晚那位居士的事,再一次浮現在我眼前。怎麼會是這樣?沒有送她回家最主要的原因,是怕耽誤拜佛,可是現在我躺在床上,不也不能拜嗎?都是不可以拜佛,前者,我可以讓一對老人家安心,讓做女兒的放心。
這位居士的心情我很理解,因為三年前我也有過類似的經驗。一晚下班回家,錄話機通知我,母親生病在急診室。當時真恨不得插翅飛到母親身邊,馬上打電話到醫院去,同時立刻聯絡機票,第二天一早五點鐘左右,我和弟弟已經坐上了飛機。當時我的心情不和這位居士等同嗎?越想越慚愧。
記得上人開示中說過,每天雖然持誦《大悲咒》,可是心不慈悲,也等於沒誦;如果心地慈悲善良,雖然沒誦持《大悲咒》,等於誦持了。前幾天我們看「了凡四訓」的電影,也提到過善的標準是什麼?為他人著想是善;反之,為個人著想就是惡。經過這次的反省,我明白了不是站在佛堂裡每一尊佛不落地拜,才算拜佛。真心幫助別人解除苦難,才是真正的拜佛。就如普賢十大願王所開示的,眾生是根,佛菩薩是花是果。
自從和佛菩薩的悲心相應,說也奇怪,不知不覺我一切不舒服的症狀都消失了,下午可以照常拜佛了。這次生病或許是個巧合,不管是什麼原因,它教育了我以後要盡量雪中送炭。
我知道我還有很長的路要走,因為按我現在的境界,在和自己利益衝突時,能爽快放下自己,是不容易做到的。首先,我要把「我」,這個英文字母裡大寫的「I」字,慢慢轉換成小寫的「i」,再希望有一天連小寫的「i」也不存在了。我願意朝著這個方向努力。阿彌陀佛!
總結
方丈比丘恒律師:(李宗祐英譯)
不容易啊!聽大家報告,每個人心裡都有感受,能夠拜完二十三天《萬佛寶懺》很不容易。有生理的考驗,有心理的磨練,有外在環境給你刺激,能夠靜下心來好好的從頭拜到完,不容易的。不管怎樣,能夠過關,恭喜大家。
不過就像欠債,懺悔只是告訴我們要認債,還要還債。我們為什麼欠債?就是自私自利,做了殺、盜、淫、妄種種惡行。現在怎麼還債呢?不要自私,不要自利,多做公家事情,迴向功德給眾生,就是還債了。所以我們拜懺就是自首,既然自首了,法官就從輕判刑,但還是要還。明天有好機會,環境打掃好,禮拜天是浴佛節。不能打掃的人,可以來佛殿參加法會盡心;有力量的就到外面做工,把草拔一拔。事有輕重緩急,你要是不知道修行的次第,怎麼會進道呢?
我們環境整理已經荒廢了三個禮拜,這段時間也有人發心整理,但畢竟力量不很大,所以明天沒力的來佛殿盡心,有力的出力,把環境整理好,禮拜天我們在大帳篷舉行浴佛法會。這就是做公家的事情,把公家事情擺在第一。
阿彌陀佛!
(全文完)
上人語
世界為什麼會毀滅?因為人們的善念少,惡念多的緣故。一念為善,天地增加正氣;一念為惡,天地增加戾氣。要轉戾氣為祥和。
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Lily Sun:
Venerable Master, Dharma Masters, and all Good and Wise Advisors:
Amitabha!
My name is Lily Sun. First I'd like to express my appreciation to all Dharma Masters and the lay people who have made this Repentance so wonderful.
The Ten Thousand Buddhas Jeweled Repentance is one of the special ceremonies held here which is rare in the world. I'm very grateful to have the opportunity to participate in this entire session. During the bowing, tears rolled down my face a few times. I felt like a naughty child seeking forgiveness. During those moments I truly felt the great compassion of the Buddhas and Bodhisattvas for letting us know this great Dharma door to eradicate our bondless karma created in the past.
During these weeks, there were days when I was concentrated and mindful while I was bowing and felt peaceful. Sometimes I would smell an unusual frgrance. At that time, the entire hour would pass by as fast as a blink of an eye. Occassionally, the false thoughts I had would be related to the name of the next Buddha. For instance, I was having scattered thoughts and when I saw the name of Clean and Pure Mind Buddha, it made me stop my false thinking immediately and be more mindful. But there were times when I had difficulty concentrating and my idle thoughts kept arising. Then I would be looking at the clock and hoping that the session would end soon. Due to the inconceivable power of the Buddhas, all my bad thoughts began to surface during the session. It was just as the Dharma Master said in his lecture that bowing is like cleaning out all the garbage in our minds.
During this bowing session, I encountered a test. I was able to understand myself better because of this incident. On Tuesday, before the evening ceremony, a laywoman from San Francisco was crying. I talked to her and found out that her mother was having surgery on that day. Her father was supposed to take care of her mother in the hospital, but he fell sick on that day due to his high blood pressure. Her other family members were away That laywoman appeared very worried and she did not have transportation to return home to help her parents. A Dharma friend suggested that she take the bus back the following day We tried to comfort her. During the evening recitation, however, I noticed that she was still crying. At that moment, my first impulse was to go and tell her that I would help her after the evening ceremony was over. However, since it was the middle of evening recitation, I couldn't walk over to her. As a result, I started to calculate the time in my mind. I figured that if we left right after the ceremony, we could get there aroung ten thirty that night. While we were reciting the Buddha's name and circumanbulating, I was debating with myself whether or not to help her. I thought to myself, "It's such a rare chance to be able to attend this entire session. It would be a shame if I couldn't complete it." Another voice told me, "I'm too exhausted. I've bowed over 600 times today and my legs are very swollen. How can I drive such a long distance? Also, isn't there a layperson here who provides transportation for others in the case of an emergency? You only need to spend some money to resolve the problem." As the evening ceremony ended, my internal battle also ceased. I did not help her.
The next day, during the beginning of the first session, as I bowed down, I felt dizzy and out of balance. The symptoms got worse as time passed. I knelt down but dared not lower my head to bow. It felt as if the world were turning upside down. I felt like vomiting. I knelt there and endured until the first session was over. I had to return to my room to rest. I asked myself, "Why is this happening?" Then I recalled what happened the night before and realized that I had been unwilling to offer my help because I wanted to attend the session, but now I was unable to bow anyway. I also empathized with that laywoman because I was in a similar situation before. Three years ago, when I returned from work, I received a message on my answering machine saying that my mother was in the emergency room. At that time, I wanted to be with my mother to help her but I couldn't because I was in another state. The more I thought about that laywoman, the more regretful I felt.
I remember that in a lecture, the Venerable Master said that a person may recite the Great Compassion Mantra everyday but if he/she does not have a compassionate heart, then it is the same as not reciting the Great Compassion Mantra. However, if you have never recited the Great Compassion Mantra, but you have a compassionate heart, then that is the same as reciting the Great Compassion Mantra. I also realized that to help others is the same as bowing to the Buddhas sincerely After I realized that, I was fine again and could continue bowing that afternoon. It could have been a coincidence. Nevertheless, that experience taught me a lesson.
I know that I would like to change by helping others more in the future. I know I have a long way to go. To sacrifice one's own benefit for others is really hard. First, I would like to change the capital "I" to a lower case "I". Eventually, I will try to eliminate even the small "i". I would like to be that kind of a person. Amitabha.
CONCLUSION
The Abbot, Bhikshu Heng Lyu Shi: (English translation by Michael Lee)
It is not easy indeed! After hearing everyone's report, we see that everyone has his/her own personal experience, and that it is not easy to complete these twenty-three days of the Jeweled Repentance of Ten Thousand Buddhas. There is the physical challenge, as well as the mental training, both of which must be endured under distractions from your surroundings. It is no small feat to be able to calm down your mind from beginning to end. I congratulate everyone for making it through through session.
Like debtors, we repent in order to acknowledge our debts. However, the debts still need to be repaid. Why do we owe debts? It is because out of selfishness and greed, we have killed, stolen, engaged in lust, told lies, and done all sorts of evil deeds. Now, how do we make amends? We must be unselfish and take on more endeavors for the sake of the public, transferring the merit to the living beings. That is how we can repay our debts. Therefore, by performing the Repentance, we turn ourselves in. Since we've turned ourselves in, the judge will lighten our sentence, but we still need to repay what we owe. Tomorrow there is a great opportunity, for we must clean up the grounds to prepare for Bathing the Buddha on Sunday. Those who are unable to help physically with the cleanup may come to the Buddha Hall to join the Dharma Assembly and do your part through the mind. Those with the strength may go outside to work, pulling weeds, for example. There are varying degrees of urgency in our tasks. If you do not know the priorities in cultivation, how can you enter the Way?
We have not spent time cleaning the community for three weeks now [during the repentance session]. During those three weeks, some people did try to clean up, but they could only do so much. Therefore tomorrow, those who are not physically strong should come to the Buddha Hall to sincerely practice, and those who have the strength should contribute their muscle and clean up the environment properly, so that on Sunday we can conduct the Dharma Assembly to Bath the Buddha under the big canopy. This is community service. Let us make community work our number one priority Amitabha!
(The End)
Venerable Master's Dharma Words
The world is going bad because people's good thoughts are few and their unwholesome thoughts are many. Each good thought augments the righteous energy in the world, whereas each unwholesome thought adds to the world's lethal energy. We must transform that lethal energy into auspicion and harmony.
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