在這個欣榮的春晨，我很高興能與大家相聚。我和內人一路上呼吸著鄉間清爽的空氣，驅車從弗列蒙（Fremont）前來。我以前曾來過這裡，內人是第一次來。來自日本京都Ryukoku大學的Naoki Nabeshima教授一家人，今天也在座，他們會在這一地區住上一年，領略佛教諸多層面的氣息。感謝你們的盛情招待，你們很有福報，得遇宣公上人這樣一位明眼師父，有福報得遇他的繼續為法努力的弟子，包括恆實法師在內。有這樣奉獻精神的僧團是法師們的光榮，我想佛一定會歡喜的。
在今天這個觀音誕慶祝法會上，對於觀音菩薩我想講幾句我的想法。觀音菩薩是觀照世間，傾聽世間呼救的大英雄；他善聽，傾聽著我們的忿怒、消沉、受傷；不是蜻蜓點水式的，而是參與我們的心靈之旅。
傾聽，或許是人類相互給與的最珍貴的禮物。帶著同情心的傾聽，可以鼓勵對方講下去，講出他已發現或尚未覺察到的事。留心傾聽，就是承認對方話語的重要性，可以讓對方存在的境界提昇成為一個新人。談話可以傾吐出記憶中的事，回憶可以促成新的感情、觀念、觀察角度、見解。在使對方傾談的氣氛中，我們的角色就好似那迎接生命來到世間的接生婆。
我父親善聽，我講話他總會傾聽。他中風後患失語症，說話極困難；病情加重後他只能說出幾個字。看他沉默，我真是痛苦。我肯定他有很多話要講，可我們交談時卻只我一個人講。我說，他聽，多數情形是這樣。我講的時候回憶起舊時的感情和想法，開始體會到他是那麼愛護我，為我做了那麼多。父親在傾聽之中投入了我的生活。聽的人說了些甚麼話並不重要，主要是有人傾聽。
「傾聽」，是種難以學到的德行。通常我們說話時沒人在聽，我們被忽視了；別人傾訴時我們不去聽；我們都渴望別人聽到我們的聲音，得到理解。家長常抱怨孩子不聽話，孩子抱怨家長不理解他們。當家長、孩子不能彼此傾聽時，代溝就出現了--家長不悅，孩子反抗。孩子們或許太吵，話過多，但這是他們瞭解自己，知道自己的限度，成長的過程。傾聽孩子們說的話，讓他們打開話匣子，尤其重要的是，這樣可發掘出他們的長處。
良師都善聽，祖父母尤其善聽。他們不僅注意聽我們的言語，還聽我們的心意。從談話中，他們可以聽出我們痛苦的根源，我們的企盼，看出我們的心願夢想。他們不僅聽到我們言辭，還聽出我們的痛苦和心願。他們聽到全盤狀況，不是局部狀況。善聽者聽到的不僅是當下的對話，還有對方想表達的內容。在自殺熱線上的自願接線生，不僅要聽到對方的虛張聲勢，還要聽出其中的痛楚。只要去傾聽對方的痛苦，往往就能避免使對方走上絕路，傾聽，可以拯救人的生命。
缺乏耐心的人，只聽到稍縱即逝，最具刺激性的內容，或其想聽的話。心存非難心的人只聽到對方的話，不能打開心胸完整地接受對方。好批評的人在捕捉我們的弱點時，看不見話語背後的情形。好批評的人破壞了講話的人自我探索的心情。他們只會攻擊、忽視、嘲弄，使講話的人有失敗感。
同情地傾聽，需要專注地自我約束，以平靜的內心全神貫注於當下，是一種很難的藝術。試聽自己的呼吸，你的心很快就分散了。傾聽藝術是可以改善的，要注意聽，聽清楚每個字，聽出更多的內容，對方講些甚麼，如何鼓勵他繼續那剛浮現出來的自我探索，這是與人溝通最根本的方法。將心比心，這樣聽時我們就是在摩仿觀音菩薩傾聽世間的痛苦。傾聽，是我們人人都可以布施的禮物。 |
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I am happy to be with you on this glorious spring morning. Mrs. Nakasone and I drove from Fremont and are enjoying the clear country air. I have been here before, but this is the first time for Mrs. Nakasone. Professor Naoki Nabeshima, from Ryukoku University in Kyoto, Japan is here also with his family. They will be in the area for a year experiencing, among other things, the many faces of Buddhism. We thank you for your gracious hospitality. You have been blessed with a visionary teacher, Master Hua, whose disciples, including the Venerable Heng Sure, continue the work of the Dharma. Dharma teachers are honored to have such a devoted Sangha. I am sure the Buddha is pleased.
Today on this birthday celebration, I would like to share a few thoughts on Guan-shi-yin pu-sa. "Guan-shi-yin pu-sa" is the Chinese for "Avalokitesvara Bodhisattva." "Avalokitesvara Bodhisattva," "Kanzeon," the Japanese rendering, clearly captures the Bodhisattva's special talent. "Guan" means "to contemplate" or "to see," "shi" means "world," and "yin" means "sound." Avalokitesvara Bodhisattva is a spiritual hero who contemplates and listens to the pleas of the world. This Bodhisattva is a good listener. Listening to our outbursts of anger, despair, and hurt, the Bodhisattva attends to the journeying spirit, not the momentary stammer.
Listening may be the greatest gift one human being can give to another. By listening sympathetically we encourage the speaker to speak, and in speaking he or she discovers what he or she may not have been aware of. By attentively listening, we acknowledge that what is being said is important. Such listening affirms that person, elevates him or her to a higher plane of existence, gives birth to a new being. Speaking also dislodges memories. Recalling old thoughts can lead to creative juxtapositions of feelings and ideas, novel ways of seeing, and to new ideas. When we engage in conversation and allow another to speak, we act as a midwife who helps bring new life into the world.
My father was a good listener; he always listened to what I had to say. After he had his stroke, he had expressive aphasia and had great difficulty speaking. As his illness progressed, he could say only a few words. It pained me to see him slide into silence. I am sure there was much that he wanted to say, but our conversations were one sided. I would speak and he would mostly listen. While speaking, I reminisced and rediscovered old feelings and thoughts; I came to appreciate how much he loved me and did for me. By listening, my father attended to my life journey. Often it is not important for a listener to say much. We all need someone to listen to us.
Listening is a great virtue and difficult to master. Often when we try to speak, no one listens. We are ignored. When others speak or cry out, we do not hear. There is a yearning in all of us to be heard and understood. Parents often complain that their children do not listen; children grumble that parents do not understand. When parents and children hear each other, but fail to listen, we have a generation gap that may lead to unhappy parents and rebellious children. Our children may be too noisy and talk incessantly, but this is the way they learn who they are, test their limits, and grow up. It is especially important to listen to children and to draw out their special gifts.
Good teachers are good listeners. Grandparents are particularly good listeners. They listen attentively not simply to our words, but to what we mean. They are able to see through our chatter, the source of our pain and hear our pleas. They can also see our aspirations and spark dreams. They hear not what is being said, but perceive the source of our pain and aspirations. They hear the whole, not the part. A good listener hears not only the momentary chatter, but what the speaker is trying to communicate. Volunteers on suicide hot lines hear not bravado, but the pain of the callers. These listeners often prevent callers from ending their lives by simply listening to the caller's anguish. Listening can be a gift of life.
An impatient listener hears only the fleeting tempest or what they want to hear. A judgmental listener hears only what the speaker is saying, and fails to be open to the whole person. Preying on our vulnerabilities and inadequacies, a critical listener fails to see the person behind the words. Critical listening crushes the speaker's spirit and diminishes his or her adventure of self-discovery. The critical listener attacks, ignores, ridicules, and leaves the speaker with a sense of defeat.
Sympathetic listening is a contemplative discipline; it requires a quiet mind, complete attention, and total presence. It is a difficult art. Try listening to the sound of your breathing. You are soon distracted. We can all improve our listening skills by being mindful of the person who speaks. Try to hear every word and then more. What is this person telling me of his or her self? How can I encourage him or her to nurture that new talent or quicken self-discovery that is beginning to emerge? To listen in this way is to commune with another human being in a most fundamental way. Heart touches heart. When we listen in this manner, we take on the mantle of Guan-shi-yin pu-sa, who hears the cries of the world. Listening is a gift we can all give. |
