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比丘尼恆聲：
這次拜萬佛寶懺第一個星期六那天晚上，人就覺得非常不舒服。當我上廁所的時候，才發現小便都是血，我就覺得很奇怪。因為去年我在臺灣遇上了「九‧二一」大地震，當時都不敢上廁所，怕有餘震發生，就一直想著，很多人都有膀胱炎的現象。今年一月來美國之前，醫生給我藥，但在二月時就已經吃完了，所以現在沒在吃這種藥。
現在沒藥了，也不知道怎麼辦，心想忍耐一下，看看明天會不會停止。可是隔天早上卻越來越厲害，整個人快暈過去了。再加上法會時我負責打法器，一站好幾個鐘頭，不敢上廁所，也不敢喝水。情況越來越厲害，到後來就沒辦法上殿了。
我一直忍，整個身體很難過，好像分成了好幾節：頸椎、胸椎、腰椎……等，我現在才體會到神經痛的痛苦。後來我就像老人一樣，圍著圍巾，穿好幾層褲子，甚至還穿毛衣，撐傘，又提了一壺水，去女眾佛堂請大悲咒水，一位師兄看到了，問：「妳有沒有問題啊？大晴天妳撐一把傘？」其實傘沒有撐開，是拿來做拐杖用。
就這樣步履蹣跚地到佛堂，在華嚴三聖和師父上人前頂禮時，心想：「我該怎麼懺悔呢？」想到小時很喜歡吃魚，常常把魚一節一節的剁，有一種甚至要剝掉皮，炸起來才又酥又好吃。又因為工作的關係，需要做實驗，解剖一些動物，做一些培養基，就是培養一些細菌。因為要爭取國科會的補助，所以我們絞盡腦汁來做各種實驗。現在回想起來，真是殺了無數的眾生。
還有我俗家開碾米廠，因此有很多老鼠，這些老鼠我們怎麼殺呢？那方法是很殘忍的。我的母親用一種夾子，當老鼠跑過去時，就「喀嚓」把牠夾成兩段了。小的老鼠夾不住，就用一種黏紙把牠黏住。當然我也做了這些事，所以「自作教他，見作隨喜」都有份。
我也喜歡玩金龜子，把牠的腳綁住再讓牠飛；對蜻蜓則更殘忍，用車穿過牠的身體，把牠們穿成一串。也釣過青蛙；雞也是一樣，把牠剁了，再吃牠屍體，真是慘不忍睹。這都是我以前所造的業。
小時還很調皮，去山上或河邊玩，看到香蕉園或芭樂（番石榴）園，就去偷採人家的水果，也曾到中興新村偷採蓮花。自己家有果園，祖母希望把一些水果留到七月拜拜時用，我很調皮，就把它採下來吃，然後跑，讓祖母追。祖母拿著一枝大竹竿要打我，我就躲在大樹下，這樣讓她生氣。
所以我一直懺悔，一直想：「罪從心起將心懺，解鈴還要繫鈴人。」我把這些過錯發露出來，告訴諸佛菩薩，說我錯了，願意重新改過做人。之後我就喝了大悲水，還用大悲水把身體擦了一次，當晚情況就改善了。我一直不敢上廁所，也不敢喝茶，但不上廁所又不行，第二天就不再出血了。
上人開示我們，要令世界能夠改善，必須要先改善我們自己；來正法道場修習佛法，人人都能改過自新，所以說天災人禍在殺業，挽救災劫就在我們每一個人的心。世界不好，就是我們每一個人的心不好，所以我們要從根本做起。
來自臺灣的陳玲芳居士：
我要敘述一個小小的感應。萬佛寶懺剛開始一兩天的時候，有人問我：「接下來有梁皇寶懺，妳要不要留下來拜？」如果在臺灣是比較不可能，因為要上班。但是在這裡，我真的很想留下來拜，可是因為沒有確定的時間，所以後來我就訂了12號的飛機，想去西雅圖。
機票訂好後，我夢見上人在講經說法，有很多很多的人；上人由門外走進來，我正要走出去。上人說：「妳這麼早就要出去了？」我說：「沒有啦！師父，我只是走一走，看一看。」我又繞回來了。
我看到上人要爬一個小樓梯，看得出上人的腳很不方便。然後上人傳給我一封信，打開一看，一邊中文，一邊英文；英文就寫我的英文名字，一時也沒時間細看內容。
醒來以後我就想：「上人為什麼給我這中英文的信呢？」原來在前一天晚上我打了一個妄想，就是法界佛教大學頒授麥米倫教授榮譽博士學位時，我就想英文經典真是太難了，對一個近五十歲的人來說，要把英文讀通了可能要到七、八十歲，或許來不及就往生了，所以我覺得這是不可能的。
尤其是長江後浪推前浪，看到即席翻譯人在聖城這麼傑出的表現，我打從心底佩服。我想，留待我下一代好了，他也許能滿我的願。後來看了這封信，我左思右想，上人真的是很慈悲，原來是在鼓勵我。
上人的慈悲、智慧和善巧方便，真是無所不在，我相信每一位善知識跟我都有一樣的感受。既然有梁皇寶懺，而且上人在夢中又講了這句話：「這麼早就離開？」所以我要留下來把梁皇寶懺也拜個圓滿，除了懺海業障之外，同時我也要祈求世界和平及臺海兩岸的平安。
5月6日萬佛寶殿 來自加拿大溫哥華的妙雲居士：
我很久以前就想來萬佛城，因為因緣沒有具足，來不成。這次來我就想瞻仰萬佛到底是什麼樣子。一進來就去瞻仰，一看，怎麼每一尊佛的眼睛都笑成這樣子，還有這嘴好像都要翹起來？我一直想，為什麼萬佛城的每一尊佛都這麼莊嚴？而且還清清楚楚地跟我說法：「都攝六根，念念相續。」我就說：「好！好！我知道，我知道。」過了兩三天都是這樣子，令我心生大歡喜。
當時的微笑真是不可思議！不可思議！還有我一懺悔，一發願，香味就來了，這情形陸陸續續已經不知道有多少次。有一天我感冒了，拜佛的時候鼻水一直流，很不莊嚴，就去請大悲水來喝，只喝了一點點，馬上就停了。這也真是不可思議的事情。
我這次來寶山有沒有真正的得到寶？就是把一切的塵埃、垃圾都丟掉了，從今以後回到佛的淨土，蓮花化身，這是我最需要的感應。
待續
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Bhikshuni Heng Sheng:
On Saturday evening of the first week of the Repentance
Before Ten Thousand Buddhas, I began to feel extremely
uncomfortable. Later, when I went to the restroom, I found
that my urine contained blood, and I started to have an
uncanny feeling about this. I had been in the massive
earthquake in Taiwan on September 21st last year. At that
time, people (including myself) didn't dare to go to the
bathroom. Being afraid of the quakes, I held my urine. As a
result, many people showed symptoms of bladder infection.
Before I came to the U.S in January, a doctor gave me some
medicine, but I finished it in February and didn't take that
type of medicine any more.
Being out of medicine, I didn't know what to do. I thought:
"Be patient for a while; maybe it will stop tomorrow." But
by the next morning, my condition became so severe that I
almost passed out. I was playing the Dharma instruments
during the ceremonies, and I would stand for a few hours at
a stretch, not daring to go to use the bathroom or to take a
drink. Consequently, my condition worsened until I couldn't
even go to the Buddha Hall anymore.
But I kept enduring the pain. I felt as if my body had split
into multiple pieces: the neck became one piece, the chest
another and my waist still another, etc... I now begin to
realize the agony of mental illness. Later on, I went to the
Buddha Hall wearing a scarf, a sweater, a few layers of
pants, and carrying an umbrella and a water bottle. I looked
like an old lady. A Dharma brother saw me and asked, "Do you
have a problem? Going around with an umbrella on a sunny day
like this?" Actually I didn't open the umbrella; I used it
for a cane.
So, half walking and half dragging myself, I went to the
Buddha Hall and prostrated before the Three Sages of the
Avatamsaka and the Venerable Master. I was thinking: "How
should I repent?" Flashbacks of my youth came to me. I
remembered how I liked to eat fish; I used to cut them into
pieces, even scraping off their scales. When fried, they
were crispy and fragrant. Also, since my work involved
experimentation, we often dissected animals to grow
bacteria. Because of the competition, we racked our brains
and thought of all kinds of experiments to do. When I think
of it, I really killed countless living beings.
Furthermore, my family had opened a rice mill and there were
lots of mice. How did we kill the mice? The methods we used
were really cruel. My mother would use a certain kind of
mouse trap that would snap down and slice in half any mouse
that ran over it. The smaller mice could still get away, so
we used sticky paper to catch them. Of course, I was also
involved, so I not only did it myself, but taught others to
do so too. I not only taught others to do the same, but
rejoiced to see it done.
I also enjoyed torturing tumblebugs, I used to tie their
feet together and then let them fly away. To the dragonflies
I was even more merciless, I pierced their bodies with
blades of grass strung them together. I also used hooks to
catch frogs. As for chickens, I cut them into pieces and
then ate their corpses. Ah, it's really too cruel to see!
Such was the karma I created in the past.
When I was young, I was really naughty. Every time I went to
play in the mountains or by the streams and rivers, I would
steal fruit from the banana groves or guava orchards nearby.
I also stole lotus flowers from Zhongxin Village. My
grandmother would leave some of the fruit on the trees in
our own orchards so that she could offer them to spirits and
gods in July. I would be naughty and pick those fruits to
eat, and then run to hide under a big tree when she came
after me with her bamboo stick, making her angry.
Thus, I kept repenting and thinking: "Offenses arise from
the mind, and must be repented in the mind. It takes the one
who ties a knot to untie it." I revealed all these faults of
mine and told the Buddhas and Bodhisattvas, saying: "I'm
wrong, I'm willing to change myself and begin again."
Afterwards, I drank some Great Compassion water and rubbed
it all over my body once. That evening, my condition became
better, but I was still afraid of going to the bathroom or
drinking. I still had to go at some point, so I went the
next day and there was no more blood.
The Venerable Master had given us a lecture before about how
if we want to improve the world, we need to first change
ourselves. By coming to a Way-place of the Proper Dharma to
study Buddhism, people can change themselves. That's why he
said: "All natural and man-made disasters originate from
the karma of killing. The key to averting disasters lies
within the mind of each of us." The reason the world is in
such a terrible shape is because our hearts are not good. We
must work on the root of things.
Mrs. Chen Ling-Fang from Taiwan
I want to talk about a small response. A day or two after
the Repentance Before Ten Thousand Buddhas began, somebody
asked me, "Are you going to stay and bow the Repentance of
the Emperor of Liang which will follow this session?" If I
were in Taiwan, this would have been impossible, because I
needed to work. But over here, I really want to stay and
bow. But because the time was uncertain, I booked a plane
ticket for the 12th to go to Seattle.
After I booked the plane ticket, I had a dream. I dreamt
that the Venerable Master was going to give a lecture and
there were a lot of people; the Venerable Master was walking
in from the outside, and I was just going out. The Venerable
Master said, "You're leaving this early?" I replied, "No,
Master, I'm just going to take a walk and have a look
around." So I turned around and came back.
I saw that the Venerable Master was walking up a small
stairway, and from his gait one could tell that his legs
were ailing. Then The Venerable Master passed me an
envelope. I opened it to take a look. One side of the letter
was written in Chinese, and the other side was English. My
English name was written on the English side, but I didn't
have time to look at the contents.
After I woke up, I thought, "Why did the Venerable Master
pass me a letter written in both English and Chinese?" Then
it all came back to me, because I had a false thought the
day before. When Dharma Realm Buddhist University presented
Professor Tom Macmillan with an honorary doctoral degree, I
thought to myself, English Sutras are really just too hard
for me. I am almost 50 years old, and by the time I learn
English fluently, I will be in my 70's or 80's, or maybe
I'll die before I can finish my studies, so I thought that
this was utterly impossible.
Also, as the quote says, "In the Yangtze River, the waves in
back push the ones in front." When I see the excellent
performance of the translators at CTTB, I admire them from
deep down in my heart. And so I thought, I'll leave it to
the next generation; they will fulfill my wish. Later when I
saw this letter in my dream, I pondered it and realized that
the Venerable Master was truly kind and compassionate—he was
encouraging me.
The Venerable Master's kindness, compassion, wisdom, and
expedience are really everywhere. I believe that all of you
have the same feelings as I do. Since the Repentance of the
Emperor of Liang was being held and the Master had asked me
in my dream, "You're leaving this early?" I decided to stay
for the whole Repentance. Other than bowing the repentance
to eradicate my bad karma, I will also pray for world peace
and peace in the Taiwan straits.
Mrs. Miao Yun from Canada, Saturday, May 6:
I've always wanted to come to CTTB, but due to certain
reasons, I couldn't come. When I finally came this time, I
wanted to pay my respects to the 10,000 Buddha statues and
find out exactly what they look like. The first thing I did
when I entered the Buddha Hall was to pay my respects to the
statues. Wow! Why are the statues smiling like this? Their
lips seem to curve upward. I kept thinking, "Why is it that
the statues are so adorned?"
The Buddhas also spoke Dharma
to me, which I heard very clearly: "Be mindful of your six
sense organs in every thought." I replied, " Yes!
"
"Be
mindful of your six sense organs in every thought." I
replied, " Yes! Yes! I know, I understand." This went on for
a few days, making me feel extremely happy. And those smiles
were just ineffably ineffable! Also, every time that I
repented and made vows, I would smell a fragrance. I don't
know how many times that happened. One day, I caught a cold
and suffered a runny nose while bowing. Thinking that this
didn't look so nice, I requested some Great Compassion water
to drink. One sip of the water made my nose stop running
immediately. That was also an ineffable experience. I've
come to a treasure trove, but have I obtained any treasures?
Well, getting rid of all my garbage and defilements, and
being reborn in a lotus in the Buddha's Pure Land, is the
response that I need the most.
To be continued
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