|
1993年我從美南路州紐奧爾良輟學西行，尋訪道場，先到洛杉磯一寺廟停留了一個多月，其間大大小小廟也看了一、二十座，最後的落腳處還是萬佛聖城；來時是隨洛市信眾的大巴上來參加「彌陀七」，十二月廿二日夜到，時夜黑風高雨淒，我又冷又餓又徬徨，心想完了，來了這麼一個地方！
1994年一月聖城辦敬老節，上人邀來陳立夫老先生，聖城給他安排下榻的地方是七號房（其實他當天就回去了），我負責添火；出來時，看見上人獨自坐在他的三號房前，由是我得以單獨拜見上人。當時我並不「認識」上人，對佛教亦非十分敬信，拜完起身，我想既然聽說您是高僧，不妨讓我先看看您的眼睛，得道之人的眼睛應該是很明亮清朗的。因此我瞪著他老人家的眼睛看，上人亦微笑回視，一道目光直透我的脊背。上人眼睛亮是亮，卻很混，眼球黃而多血絲，已是現病重象了。因上人當時重聽，我也沒想問他什麼，簡單幾句之後我即告退，想不到我輕溜溜的就把單獨請教上人的這麼一個好機會給丟了！一年多後，他入涅槃了。
從小我的涵養很差，但還不失為知恩報恩的人，來聖城後慢慢體會到宣公上人的恩，是我生生世世難報於萬一的，很遺憾在他有生之年未能多親近他。我在聖城注意到如果不是上人默默地以他的福報迴向給我，幫以前的我化險為夷，我今天已不在人世了；幫現在的我承擔病苦，我的很多病不可能自己就飛了，其他種種感應，非我言語所能窮盡。
1995年辦夏令營，從紐西蘭來了兩位林氏兄弟，本想夏令營結束後留在男校唸書，但因為出國前簽證沒辦好，以致於他們夏令營結束後還得再回紐西蘭去辦簽證。這不僅路遠，而且往返路費都不便宜，這兩兄弟的母親為此猶豫不決。
當時上人剛圓寂，在他要荼毗那天上午，我在他老人家靈前許了一個願：「師父，這兩兄弟回去之後，如果他們辦簽證很順利，能來男校唸書，那我就不走了。」因為我當時又動了俗念，想回南部去把書唸完。事情非常「巧」，八月底這兩兄弟就回聖城了，他們母親說：「這一路好像有風把我們送上來似的，怎麼辦什麼手續都特別順？」我會心一笑。我舉這個例子，是因為這件事情給我的印象特別深刻，其他的感應經歷，要講可以講幾籮筐。這都是上人隨順眾生願所致，他就差天上的月亮沒給我們摘下來。在聖城，我的心心念念似乎都有人知道，只要不是歪念頭，都能滿足，就好像有人給預先安排好了一樣。從這一點，我體會到聖城真是天上人間，極樂縮影，天底下打著燈籠找不到。
中國人說「士為知己者死」；上人知我甚過我知自己百千倍，我能不珍惜跟隨他修學的機會嗎？他化我冥頑，度我信佛，令我成熟，發心出家，這一切，得投入他多少的福報和血汗？養孩子辛苦，教學生辛苦，卻都遠不及上人這般辛苦，如是度一個，度兩個，……度到最後自己累死了。勞斯菩薩！勞斯菩薩！我再沒有良知，能不知報這一重恩德嗎？在上人的道場聖城修行、工作教書，再加蔬食、生活規律化，使我原有的許多疾病，如肝炎、胃病、氣管炎等等，練氣功沒能治好的病，在不知不覺之中都不藥而癒了。但願自己從世間噩夢醒來後，能真正地覺醒，不再傻愣愣地去重受諸苦；願自己欲報師恩當無虛言，否則真對不起他老人家啊！適值上人紀念法會，願此文略申思念之情。
全文完
|
|
In 1993 I quit school in New Orleans, Louisiana and headed west in search of a Way-place. I first stayed in a temple in Los Angeles for over a month, and visited some ten or twenty temples of all sizes. Finally, my search brought me to the City of Ten Thousand Buddhas; I came with a busload of Buddhists from Los Angeles to attend the Amitabha Session. We arrived on December 22, a dark, stormy night. I was cold, hungry, and distraught, thinking, "What kind of a place have I come to?"
I remember the first time I met the Venerable Master in January 1994 on Honoring Elders Day. The Master had returned to the City of Ten Thousand Buddhas (CTTB) to meet with the Elder Mr. Li-fu Chen. The Master was seated in front of Cottage 3, and I was on my way to tend the fire at Cottage 7, where Mr. Chen would be staying. That's when I bowed to him. At that time I knew little about the Venerable Master and my faith in Buddhism was not fervent. When I rose from the bow, I thought, "This is a great master. I want to see what his eyes are like. Enlightened people should have very bright, clear eyes." So I looked at his eyes, and he looked back at me with a smile, his gaze penetrating right through me. Although the Master's eyes were bright, they were not clear; the eyeballs were yellowish and covered with fine veins. Was it because he was over-exhausted? The Master knew my thoughts and merely smiled at me. I had no idea then that the Master would enter Nirvana a little over a year later.
Although I am not sensitive or patient by nature, I am still capable of appreciating kindness. After coming to CTTB, I have realized that there is one person in this world–Venerable Master Hua–whose kindness I could hardly repay even a tiny fraction of, even if I spent life after life attempting to do so. I regret not having drawn near the Master more when he was alive. At CTTB I have realized that, were it not for the Venerable Master's imperceptible blessings helping me to eliminate dangers, I would not be alive today. He is still helping by taking my pain and illness; otherwise, how could so many of my illnesses have vanished on their own? There are many other responses, too many to be described.
The Master had recently passed into stillness, and on the morning of his cremation, I vowed in his presence: "Master, if these two brothers have no problem getting a visa to study at the Boys School, then I won't leave." Originally I had had a worldly thought of returning south to finish my studies. Strangely enough, at the end of August the two boys returned to CTTB. Their mother said, "It was as if we were riding on the wind; everything went extremely smoothly." I smiled to myself. That incident left a profound impression on me. There have been countless other responses brought about by the Master's vow to fulfill the wishes of living beings. He has done everything short of plucking the moon from the sky for us. At CTTB, it seems as if my every thought is known; as long as it is not a crooked thought, it can come true, as if someone had arranged it all in advance. I have realized that CTTB is truly heaven on earth; a miniature Land of Ultimate Bliss. There is no other place like this in the world.
The Chinese say, "A man would lay down his life for one who truly understands him." The Master knows me a million times better than I know myself. How could I not cherish the opportunity to follow him in cultivation? He influenced me, a nonbeliever, to become a Buddhist, to resolve to seek Bodhi, and to enter the monastic life. No one knows what great pains he went to for my sake. Raising children and educating students may be tough, but they are a far cry from the Master's work of saving people. The Master saved not only me, but others, and in the end he died of exhaustion. Poor Bodhisattva! Poor Bodhisattva! The Venerable Master's numerous disciples must feel the same way I do. No matter how lacking in conscience I am, how could I not strive to repay such tremendous kindness?
Through a disciplined life of cultivating, working, teaching, and vegetarianism at the City of Ten Thousand Buddhas, my various ailments—hepatitis, stomach illness, and bronchitis–that even energy healing did not help, have been cured without medicine. I hope that when I awaken from this worldly nightmare, I will truly be awake and not foolishly suffer in vain again. May I realize my vow to repay the Master's kindness; otherwise I have no way to face him. This article is written on the Venerable Master's Memorial Day.
The End
|
