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從前曾子用一貫之理，總括他老師孔子的學說教化，說是：「夫子之道，忠恕而已矣！」只是「忠」和「恕」兩個字，就包括一切待人處事的道理？好像太簡單了！可是這卻是「三歲小兒道得，九十老翁行不得」的日常戒律。那麼什麼是忠恕？「盡己之謂忠；己所不欲，勿施於人之謂恕」。
怎樣才是盡己？我們且用造字的原則來分析。忠，是「中」、「心」二字合起來的；凡事處中，不偏不倚、無黨無私，這就是忠。做任何事既不偏任何一方，也不私己，就是「盡己」－－盡自己做人的本份。
恕呢？是「如」、「心」二字合起來的；常常為人設想，愛人如己，存著「人溺己溺，人饑己饑」的心腸。恕道雖是儒家提出來的，但是對恕道的實踐，卻以佛家最為廣大徹底。佛家不但是要平等待一切人，更進一步要平等待一切眾生；不但「己所不欲，勿施於人」，更進一步要「眾生所不欲，為眾生除之；眾生之所欲，必施於生」。這就是「無緣大慈，同體大悲」，對一切眾生所厭惡的疾苦，皆感同身受，一律平等為其拔除；對一切眾生所企盼的喜樂，不分緣深緣淺，一律平等愛護給予。我們若願為眾生拔一切苦，予一切樂，便是生起求智慧的心，能夠覺今是而昨非了，這叫發菩提心；「菩提」就是梵語「覺悟、智慧」。這是菩薩的發心，種的是佛菩薩的聖因，可以說已經是個因地的菩薩；再要成為果地的菩薩，那就必須從發這個菩提心的當下，每日每時每分都不要忘失了這個菩提心；每日每時每分都腳踏實地去做這種菩提行。
人生世間，就有了接觸；既有接觸，就產生取與；在取與之間又不免愛惡糾葛；愛惡糾葛，於是乎恩恩怨怨纏繞，結果是苦苦惱惱不休，這都是源於智慧泯沒不覺之故。要想放得下種種恩怨的情緣，先要提得起。
中國五代梁朝時，有個和尚契此。他不但長得高大，耳也大，肚皮更是大，成天就揹個大布袋笑嘻嘻地到處走，到處化緣；所以大家都喚他布袋和尚，久了也就忘了他的原名。人家給他什麼吃的、穿的、用的，無論是好是壞、是精是粗，他一律裝進布袋裏；那布袋說也奇怪，從不曾多得裝不下或少得裝不滿，總是不大不小、不脹不癟，就那一個樣兒。
人家問他：「咦？布袋和尚！你的布袋是什麼寶貝，為什麼裝不滿呢？」布袋和尚笑嘻嘻地說：「喔！這袋子像人心一樣，永遠也不會滿足，所以也就填不滿了！」
有一天，他遇著保福和尚，就向保福和尚化一文錢；保福和尚想試試他，便說：「你能說得出什麼，我就給。」
布袋和尚笑嘻嘻地把布袋放下，叉手而立。保福和尚便問：「如何是眾生？」布袋和尚笑嘻嘻地把布袋提起。
保福和尚又問：「如何是佛法意？」布袋和尚又笑嘻嘻把布袋放下。保福和尚就知道他是個眞悟道的高僧了！
果然在布袋和尚圓寂後，人們才從他留在破牆上的偈語，明白他原來是將來要降生人間成佛的彌勒菩薩。布袋和尚以身說法，告示我們這世間的種種，我們要先提得起，容受得下；若是提不起，受不了，也就放不下，又怎能奢言出離，漫談入道成佛？
那麼，怎樣才是提得起呢？就是要好好地做人！佛菩薩都是人成的，人都做不好了，又怎能成佛？所謂「世事通曉皆學問；人情練達是文章。」做人圓融了，做事也就無礙了。何愁修行不成？反之，若頂著修行的護身符，盡做些不通情理的事情，讓別人不斷地起煩惱，那麼別人不退失菩提心都已算幸運了，還能鼓勵別人發菩提心嗎？
所以菩薩是入世修行出世果，先把人情提起，再把恩怨了斷。不要三級跳，未學行就想飛；人世的福德尚未栽，就想攀出世的覺果？而栽培入世的福德就要行仁；仁者人也，也就是忠恕存心，好好做人；做人，第一要知取予，明恩怨。
怎樣才是知取予，明恩怨？知取予，前面說過「與宜多，取宜少」，也就是所謂的「分多潤寡」，這是修的歡喜行，能令取與雙方皆大歡喜。但是要想分多潤寡，須以「自奉簡約」為先決條件；否則，就算貪念可以降服，而自給尚且不足，更哪能以有餘資不足，而明恩怨？在方法上要「施惠無念；受施莫忘」。所謂「受人涓滴之恩，當思湧泉以報。」
因此報人恩要有長久心。至於施恩呢？則施時要有平等心，施後要有平常心。不但不要把它放在心上，更不可挾恩以要人；否則就算沒招致禍端，自己也活得不舒坦。再進一層說，明恩怨，在原則上是要「以德報德；以直報怨」，並不是做沒原則的濫好人或鄉愿。以德報德，並非報之以一時的財物和便利，而是互勉互勵，雙方德業自然日日增上，自然後福無窮，所以說報恩長。以直報怨，是交付公理眾意去裁決；而不循私意，委屈輾轉地去報復，所以說報怨短。
若說聖賢怎麼也報怨呢？聖賢只是不存心報私怨，但是對無法或無緣教化的少數惡人，有時亦須任其得到適當的制裁，以保障群體的福祉，令多數人有免於恐懼的自由，這就是君子的報怨；不報怨並非直心。事實上，造惡業者就算能逃得過有形的法律制裁，也終難逃其無形的業報。
總之，古之君子有「交絕不出惡聲」的說法，這是恕道，也是恩怨分明的做法；若是交絕出惡聲，或以新怨忘舊恩，則怨隙日深，便是紛亂的開端。就好像下面這個大象報仇的故事。從前有個印度人，家裏有隻老實的大象；大象每天渴了想喝水時，就會自己走到小河去。沿途一定會經過一個裁縫鋪，裁縫師總是順手給大象一點東西吃。有一天，大象又照例把長鼻子伸人窗戶要東西吃，裁縫師碰巧沒預先準備東西，又正忙得不可開交，就不理會牠。大象或者以為裁縫師沒看見牠，就把長鼻子在窗戶弄得砰砰響。裁縫師一回頭，用針在象鼻子上扎了一下，大象疼得趕緊捲起鼻子走了。
大象到了河邊，先喝足了清涼的水，又吸了滿滿一鼻子水，就往回走；走到裁縫鋪，大象把鼻子從窗戶伸進去，衝著裁縫師就噴，噴得裁縫師一身都是水，連桌上名貴的布料也都打濕了。
我們是高智慧的生靈，不要像這大象一樣，不知體諒，不懂反求諸己，而做出以新怨忘舊思的事情。
菜根譚有云：「反己者，觸事皆成藥石；尤人者，動念即是戈矛。」倘若人人能時時反求諸己，事事推己及人，「己不欲，即速已」，自然可以闢眾善之路，更可以濬諸惡之源；那麼，世間又怎麼會有輾轉的紛擾，和連綿的戰禍呢？ |
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Zeng Zi once summarized the doctrines of his teacher Confucius by saying, "The Master's teaching does not go beyond loyalty and reciprocity." How could loyalty and reciprocity encompass all the principles of dealing with people and handling affairs? It seems too simple! Actually, this is a common truth which a three-year-old child knows, but a ninety-year-old man finds difficult to practice. How do we define loyalty and reciprocity? Loyalty means doing your best. Reciprocity means not doing to others what you wouldn't want done to yourself.
What does it mean to do your best? Let us look at the structure of the characters. "Loyalty" is composed of the characters for "middle" and "heart/center." To stay in the middle in what we do, without being biased or partial, is loyalty. If we do not favor any side, including our own, then we are doing our best to fulfill our basic human duties.
The character for "reciprocity" is composed of the characters for "like/as" and "mind/heart." It means to always think on behalf of others, love others as oneself, and maintain the attitude that, "When others are drowning, it is as if I am drowning; when others are starving, it is as if I am starving." Although reciprocity is a Confucian concept, it is fully realized only in Buddhism. Buddhism teaches us not only to regard all people as equal, but to regard all living beings as equal. Not only must we refrain from doing to others what we wouldn't want done to ourselves, we must do whatever we can to give living beings what they want. This is "great kindness for those with whom we have no affinities, and great compassion of being one with all." When we see living beings undergoing suffering which they loathe, we feel as if we are suffering with them, and we try to alleviate their suffering in an egalitarian manner. Regardless of how close to or far from living beings we are we bestow upon them equally the things that bring happiness. When we resolve to eliminate the sufferings of living beings and give them every sort of joy, we are in effect resolving to seek wisdom, acknowledging our past mistakes and starting anew. We are making the aspiration for Bodhi. (Bodhi is a Sanskrit word meaning enlightenment or wisdom.) This is the aspiration of a Bodhisattva, and it plants the holy cause for Buddha- and Bodhi-sattvahood. We could be considered Bodhisattvas in the causal stage. To become Bodhisattvas in the stage of fruition, we must never for a moment forget our Bodhi resolve, and we must at all times practice the Bodhisattva conduct in a down-to-earth manner.
Once we are born into the world, we come into contact with others, and giving and taking naturally take place. In the process, there are inevitable feelings of like and dislike. People get entangled in the bonds of love and hate, and there is endless affliction and suffering. This is because wisdom has been buried and cannot manifest. If we wish to renounce the conditions of love and hate, we must first be able to accept things.
During the Liang Dynasty (of the Five Dynasties Era in China), there was a monk named Qi Ci who was tall and had big ears and an even bigger belly. All day long he went around carrying a big cloth bag and wearing a big grin on his face, collecting donations. Everyone called him the Cloth Bag Monk, and after a while his real name was forgotten. If people gave him food, clothing, or articles, regardless of whether they were good or poor quality, he would put them in his bag. Strangely enough, the bag was never too full and never less than full; it was neither big nor small, neither fat nor thin—it stayed the same.
People asked him, "Hey, Cloth Bag Monk, what treasures have you got in your bag? How come it never gets full?"
With a smile the Cloth Bag Monk would reply, "This bag is like people's minds, which are never satisfied. It can never be filled."
One day, he met the Venerable Baofu and asked for a donation of one cent. The Venerable Baofu decided to test him and asked, "If you can give a good answer, I'll give it to you."
The Cloth Bag Monk smiled, set his bag down, and stood there with his hands on his hips. The Venerable Baofu asked, "How would you describe living beings?" The Cloth Bag Monk smiled and picked up his bag.
"What is the essential meaning of the Buddhadharma?" asked the Venerable Baofu. The Cloth Bag Monk smiled and set his bag down again. Then Venerable Baofu knew that he was a highly qualified Sanghan who had enlightened to the Way.
After the Cloth Bag Monk passed into stillness, people discovered from a verse on a broken-down wall that he was Maitreya Bodhisattva, who will be the next to achieve Buddhahood in this world. The Cloth Bag Monk taught Dharma through his actions. He was telling us that we first have to be able to take all the things of this world; if we cannot take them, we will not be able to renounce them—then how could we talk about transcending the world, entering the Way, and becoming a Buddha?
What does it mean to be able to take things? It means to do a good job of fulfilling one's human obligations. Buddhas and Bodhisattvas all started out as people. If we aren't able to fulfill our human obligations, how can we attain Buddhahood? There is a saying, "The understanding of worldly affairs is genuine knowledge. The skill of developing good human relations is comparable to that of writing an essay." Once we perfect ourselves as people, we will have no hindrance in whatever we do. Then how could we not succeed in cultivation? On the other hand, if we say we're cultivating, but do a lot of unreasonable things that make others afflicted, we would be fortunate if people didn't retreat from their Bodhi resolve—how could we encourage people to bring forth the resolve?
Therefore, Bodhisattvas cultivate in the world and attain a transcendental fruition. First they work on human relations, and then they cut off ties of love and enmity. We shouldn't try to skip stages or to fly before we can walk. Before we have cultivated worldly blessings and virtue, how can we expect to attain transcendental enlightenment? The cultivation of worldly blessings and virtue happens through practicing humaneness. To be humane means to be human, to be a person with an attitude of loyalty and reciprocity. As a human, our first priority is to understand how to give and take, and to be clear about love and enmity.
What does that mean? To understand how to
give and take means, as an earlier line of text says, that
"when giving you should be generous; when taking you should
take a little less." It also means to "distribute the wealth
to help the needy." This is a joyful practice which makes
both the giver and the receiver happy. In order to practice "distributing wealth to help the needy," we must first live frugally ourselves. Otherwise, even if we overcame our greed, we would not have any surplus to give to the needy.
To be clear about love and enmity, our method should be: "When giving, think nothing of it. When receiving, do not forget the kindness done to you." A saying goes,
Having received kindness equal to a drop of water,
You should try to repay it with a bubbling spring.
Our resolve to reciprocate should be long-lasting. When we do others a favor, we should do so impartially and think nothing of it. Not only should we forget about it, but we should never demand that others reciprocate the favor. Otherwise, even if nothing disastrous happens, we will not be able to live in peace. Being clear about love and enmity at another level simply means, "to repay kindness with kindness, and to repay enmity with justice." It does not mean to be lenient with people no matter what. The repayment of kindness with kindness does not refer to a one-time gift or favor; rather it involves mutual exhortation so that both parties grow in virtue and reap boundless blessings in the future. Therefore the text says, "Kindness should be cherished forever." To repay enmity with justice means to let the public judicial system decide how to handle the matter, instead of dealing with it personally and seeking vengeance in an underhanded fashion. Therefore, the text says, "Let grudges be quickly forgotten."
Do sages also seek revenge? Sages have no personal grudges. However, on rare occasions when they are unable to teach and transform evil people, they must see to it that these individuals receive their just punishment, so that the society will not be endangered or terrorized. Such is the manner in which superior people respond to enmity. If they did not respond, they would not be acting in justice. In actuality, even if wrongdoers escape visible punishment at the hands of the law, they cannot escape their karmic retribution, which is invisible.
In general, the great men of old would not slander those with whom they had severed relations. This exemplifies the principle of reciprocity as well as being clear about love and enmity. If people slandered their former friends or forgot about past favors in light of new grievances, enmity would deepen day by day, planting the seeds of turmoil.
Consider the following story of the elephant who sought revenge: Once there was an man in India who owned a very obedient pet elephant. Every day when the elephant felt thirsty, he would walk to a small river. Along the way, he would pass by a tailor's shop, and the tailor would feed the elephant some tidbits. One day, the elephant inserted his trunk into the window as usual, wanting food, but the tailor happened not to have any food at hand and could not interrupt what he was doing, so he ignored the elephant. The elephant, perhaps thinking that the tailor had not noticed him, banged on the window with his trunk, making a racket. The tailor turned around and pricked the elephant's trunk with his needle, and the elephant, smarting in pain, quickly curled up his trunk and left.
Walking to the river, he drank his fill of cool, refreshing water, then filled his trunk with water and walked back to the tailor's shop. Sticking his trunk through the window, the elephant sprayed the tailor until he was soaked. The fine cloth on his table also got wet.
As highly intelligent beings, we should not be like the elephant, who, not knowing how to forgive or reflect upon himself, forgot about the kindness done him in the past after one unpleasant experience.
Vegetable Root Discourses has a saying, " For those who reflect upon themselves, every situation serves as a medicine. For those who complain about others, every thought is a spear." If people could always look within themselves and be considerate of others, not doing to others what they would not like done to themselves, they will naturally open a path of wholesome goodness and stop all evil at its source. In such a situation, how could there be ceaseless turmoil, wars, and disasters?
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