俗話說:「人不可以貌相,海水不可用斗量。」孔子的學生裏頭,宰予的口才是一流的,但是他太過恣才任性,每每有超越禮數的言行,終至功敗垂成;而澹臺滅明(字子羽)則是相貌醜惡。初見孔子時,孔子也不覺他有什麼才幹,後來才慢慢發現子羽是個謹守法度,行不由徑的俠義君子。因此孔子才感嘆說:「俚語云:『相馬以輿,相士以居。』弗可廢歟!以容取人,則失之子羽;以辭取人,則失之宰予。」這意思是說,不要廢了俚俗的教訓。看馬好不好,要眞正讓馬駕一駕車才知;看一個讀書人,也是要考察他平日起居生活。因為如果光看外表,對子羽就會看走了眼;若只相信言論,就會把宰予給高估了。其結果都可能會因為無法因才適任,而犧牲了對方,也折損了自己。所以看人不能從他外在的言行,武斷地下第一印象。
事實上,像宰予這樣聰明有才華、卻又志大行疏的,或者像子羽這樣其貌不揚、卻沉潛有才的人,在我們的周圍並不是沒有;只不過我們很容易犯以貌取人,以言斷人的毛病,而錯失了人才或高估了人才。再從另一個角度來說,如果我們貌不驚人,就應該自內在修養鍛鍊起,治世時能大行於邦國,亂世時也能自保於鄉隱。如果我們幸而長得一表人才,更要充實自己,不要做個繡花枕頭,中看不中用;或者只一味逞口舌,而招忌惹禍。這才是中庸之道!
古今中外的英雄豪傑,在他們的日常小事裏頭,都可以看出他們仁慈、謙虛的一面;仁慈、謙虛,便是得人心的基礎。滿腹經世濟用之學,其實都只是教我們如何得人心和善用人心罷了!英雄豪傑之成功,因為得人心;其失敗,也是因為失去了人心。人心所看重和敬畏的,是眞實的德行,而非璀璨的言辭、堂皇的外表,或厚重的權勢。
亞歷山大是希臘一位英明的皇帝。有一次他到南部一個城市,城裏的大小官員和地方上有名望的人都去朝見他,只有大哲學家德奧基尼斯沒去,亞歷山大便親自去拜望他。亞歷山大來到德奧基尼斯住所前,看到他正坐在那兒曬太陽,便上前一鞠躬,禮貌地表達久仰,並問:「您有什麼需要我幫忙的事情嗎?」德奧基尼斯說:「是的!我只要求您站開些,別把太陽擋住就行了!」亞歷山大覺得很有趣,一點也沒生氣就走了。
美國開國領袖華盛頓當上大總統之後,有一回他穿著便服騎馬出去玩。經過河邊,看見一個軍官指揮兩個士兵把一段大木頭抬上河隄。可是河隄很高,木頭又重,兩個兵用盡了力氣還是抬不上來。那軍官一逕吼叫:「用力!用力!」卻不去幫忙;華盛頓就說:「他們力氣已用完了,你去幫幫忙吧!」那軍官瞪眼大聲道:「我是尉官,你知道嗎?」華盛頓就說:「對不起!我不知道;我若早知道你是尉官。就不冒犯你了!」說完,就脫下外衣跳下去幫那兩個兵把大木頭抬上岸。
美國另外一個總統艾森豪,當他還是軍官的時候,一回巡視軍營,發現國旗是倒掛著的;這在軍隊裏是很嚴重的錯誤,兩個專管升降旗的旗手都嚇白了臉。但是艾森豪只和藹地對他們倆說:「孩子們!你們犯了多麼嚴重的軍法啊!現在我命令你們:立刻把國旗降下來改正,再重新升上去!」艾森豪的仁慈,贏得美國軍民的擁護,都暱稱他的小名「艾克」;他後來能當選總統,也不是偶然的。
法國著名軍事家拿破崙是個矮子,貌不驚人但卻有過人的意志力和膽識。戰爭期間有一夜他巡營,發現站崗的衛兵居然拄著槍睡著了;拿破崙便站崗到衛兵醒來,衛兵嚇得跪地求饒,拿破崙只說:「你跟我作戰太辛苦了,沒空睡覺。現在你睡醒了,要好好看守,別讓敵人有機會偷襲!」你說,以後那衛兵會不盡忠效命嗎?
又有一次,在他做了法國皇帝之後和美麗的皇后約瑟芬穿著便衣在路上散步;迎面來了個揹著重物的人,拿破崙忙把皇后拉過一旁,讓那人先過去。皇后就問:「你是皇帝,為什麼讓路給一個普通的老百姓呢?」
拿破崙說:「皇帝和老百姓一樣是人,他揹著那麼重的東西,咱們兩手空空。讓他路,他可以得到方便,咱們也沒丟掉皇帝的尊嚴啊!」聰明的約瑟芬從此更加尊敬他,輔佐他成就不少大業。從以上的小故事來看,這些人物之所以受尊敬,豈只是因為他們的豐功偉業和頭銜呢?
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There is a proverb: "People cannot be judged by appearance; sea water cannot be measured by pecks. Among the disciples of Confucius, Zai Yu’s eloquence was first rate. However, he was overly rash and fool-hardy. Every time he stepped beyond the bounds of propriety in his speech or actions, he inevitably failed. On the other hand, Zhantai Mieming (whose other name was Zi Yu) was rather homely, and at their first meeting Confucius did not think he had much talent. Later, he gradually discovered that Zi Yu was a righteous gentleman who cautiously abided by the law and did not take shortcuts. And so Confucius exclaimed with a sigh, "A folk proverb says, 'Judge a horse by how it pulls a chariot; judge a scholar by how he lives.' How could we ignore this? If we judged people by appearance alone, we would be wrong about Zi Yu. If we judged people by their speech, we would be wrong about Zai Yu." His meaning was that we should not overlook the advice of that proverb. Before we can determine the caliber of a horse, we have to see how it pulls a chariot. In appraising a scholar, we have to look at his daily living habits. If we only consider a person's appearance, we will be prejudiced against Zi Yu. If we only believed a person's words, we will overestimate Zai Yu. It is then very likely that, because we are unable to employ a person according to his talents, we will lose the person and take a loss ourselves! Therefore, we cannot evaluate a person based on the first impression that we get from his external words and behavior.
Actually, people like Zai Yu, who was intelligent and talented, yet overambitious and careless in behavior, and like Zi Yu, who had great ability hidden beneath a plain exterior, are around us, too. It is just that we easily make the mistake of judging people by their appearance or by their words, thereby failing to appreciate people's talents or else overestimating them.
Looking at it from another angle, if our own looks are plain, we should start by working on our inner cultivation, so that in times of peace we can come out to serve the country well, and in times of chaos we can retreat into seclusion in the countryside. If we are blessed with the appearance of being very capable, we should also increase our inner virtue, and not be like an embroidered pillow that is pretty to look at but not much use. We should also avoid letting our tongues wag carelessly and bring disasters upon ourselves. This is the Middle Way.
If you look at great men and women of the past and present, around the world, you will see the benevolence and humility with which they go about their daily activities. Benevolence and humility are the foundation of the human spirit. All the theories of government and politics boil down to teaching us how to win people's hearts and skillfully guide them. Great leaders and heroes succeed because they are able to win people's hearts. Those who fail, fail because they lose people's hearts. What people value and respect is the practice of genuine virtue, not flowery words, handsome appearance, or great power.
Alexander the Great was a wise king of Greece. One time he visited a city in the south. All the great and minor government officials and all the local men of repute gathered to greet him. Only the great philosopher Diogenes did not go. Thereupon Alexander the Great personally went to pay respects to him. When he arrived at Diogenes' dwelling, he saw him sitting there, basking in the sun. He went up and made a half bow, said that he had long admired the philosopher, and asked, "Is there any matter in which I can offer my help?"
Diogenes said, "Yes. All I ask is that you move to the side a bit so that you don't block the sun!"
Alexander was amused and left without feeling the least bit upset.
One time, after George Washington had assumed office as the first President of the United States, he went out on horseback for a pleasure ride, dressed in civilian clothes. Passing by a river, he noticed a military official directing two soldiers, who were trying to lift a large wooden plank onto the river bank. The bank was very high and the plank was heavy, and the two soldiers could not manage to lift it, though they were exerting their utmost strength. The official kept yelling, "Use more strength! Use more strength!" but did not attempt to help them.
Washington said, "They have already exhausted their strength! Why don't you give them a hand?"
The official glared and said loudly, "I'm a lieutenant, do you know that?"
Washington said, "Sorry, I wasn't aware. If I had known you were a lieutenant, I wouldn't have insulted you!" So saying, he took off his coat and jumped down to help the two soldiers lift the plank onto the river bank.
Eisenhower was another American President. Once, when he was still a military official and was inspecting an army barracks, he discovered the national flag hanging upside down. That was a serious mistake in the army, and the two officers who were in charge of raising and lowering the flag turned pale in fear. But Eisenhower kindly told the two, "Children! You have broken a serious military law. Now I command you to immediately lower the flag, set it upright, and raise it again!" Eisenhower's kindness won him the support of the entire U.S. military, who fondly referred to him by his nickname, Ike. It was not by mere chance that he later won the Presidential election.
The famous French military leader, Napoleon, was rather plain-looking and short in stature. However, he had remarkable resolve and vision. One night during the war, as he was inspecting camp, he came upon a sentry who had fallen asleep while on duty, leaning on his rifle. Napoleon himself stood guard until the sentry woke up. That sentry was so frightened that he got on his knees and begged forgiveness. Napoleon said, "You have toiled so hard in fighting this war with me that you have not had time to sleep. Now that you have awakened, you must do your job well. Don't let the enemy sneak in!" Now, wouldn't you think that sentry would do his best to follow Napoleon's orders from then on?
Another time, after he had become the Emperor of France, he and the beautiful Empress Josephine were strolling in the streets dressed in civilian clothes. A man carrying a heavy load was coming towards them. Napoleon pulled the empress to one side and allowed the man to pass first. The empress asked, "You are the Emperor. Why do you move out of the way for a common civilian?"
Napoleon said, "The emperor and the civilian are both people. He is carrying a heavy burden, while the two of us are emptyhanded. If we let him pass first, it makes his job a lot easier; meanwhile, we have not lost the dignity of our royal position." From then on, the wise Josephine held him in even higher esteem and aided him in achieving great deeds.
These anecdotes illustrate that people are respected for virtues other than their meritorious achievement and titles.
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