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一次有關上人慈悲的最有趣的經歷，是在約十年前的八十年代末。一位美國比丘發願在背下整部《楞嚴經》之前，要閉關禁語。因為他對中文所知甚少，這至少要花上他幾年時間。這樣過了三年，他仍然精進不已。在大悲院有兩間房和一個圍有高牆的院子，就是他居住活動的空間。他嚴格禁語，除了一個專為送飯而開設的窗口外，他斷絕了一切與外界聯繫的途徑。當時他的父母從華盛頓州西雅圖市不期而至。他們都是虔誠的基督徒，對兒子作佛教比丘，心中一直感到不自在，更何況他父親還是牧師呢！到了接待辦公室，他們就要求和兒子見面。上人讓我一方面向他們介紹嚴格獨處閉關的性質，另一方面去問一下那位比丘是否願見父母。上人讓我告訴他，見與不見，這完全取決於他。他的父母那時已經七十多歲，他們特地表示，因為死亡隨時可能到來，這或許是他們最後一次見兒子的機會。
我去閉關的地方找那位比丘，通過送飯的窗口，他可以清楚地看到我。我立刻告訴他他不必說話，是上人派我來的，並告訴他他雙親的願望，見與不見完全取決於他，他可用搖頭來表示意見。他猶豫了約十秒鐘，搖頭表示拒絕。走回接待辦公室，我心中為向老人轉達兒子的決定而擔憂。我知道他們一定會非常痛心的。而實際情形比我想像的還糟，他父親非常難過，不斷地訴說他這麼大年紀了，隨時可能入土，可現在他卻連兒子也不能見一面；母親雖較為平靜，但也感到十分痛苦。這也許是我今生最令人難過的經歷之一。正當他們非常難過沮喪時，上人突然出現了，我很快地匯報了一下情況。上人以他一貫的「一切都行，沒問題」的口氣，告訴兩位老人家等一等。上人說他有個會議，之後就會來與他們談話。
我後來得知上人將兩位老人家帶到他們兒子的住處，讓他們在房內坐下與兒子交談。其實，上人是在考驗這位比丘，看他在關鍵時候能否做出正確選擇。他雖然這一次沒及格，可確實學到了重要的一課：沙門的慈悲。
還有一個上人設身處地關心同情別人的例子，是發生在他第一次住院時。經四、五天多項的治療之後，一天早晨，他治療組的全體醫生們（共有三位專家）來看望他。顯然，他們是來安慰上人，使他對自己的狀況有信心。令他們震驚的是，沒過多久，反倒是上人在安慰他們了。上人述說自己給他們帶來的麻煩是這麼多，心裡非常地不安。他們一定非常辛苦。治療組的組長非常感動，說在他多年治療重病病人的經歷中，還沒有一位病人說過什麼感激他這位醫生的話；除了上人，其他病人都只是非常痛苦，而需要醫生的安慰；今天，情況卻倒了過來：這是沙門的慈悲。
從上人這位我們相信的「肉身菩薩」身上，在我們有幸目睹的情景之中，我可以回想起數百起或數千起表現沙門慈悲的例子。而我們卻常常以瞋恨心對待別人，對此我不得不感嘆。我們往往急於評價別人，而又難以原諒他人的過失。
如果有人不合我們的意，做事與我們的意願不副、批評我們、或對我們的「身份」不夠尊重，或是我們為環境所迫，不得不做違反自己意願的事時，我們的我相就受傷了，感到不安、生氣，甚至當眾就發火。
或許我們過高地估計了自己，有意地嚴厲對待別人，以為這樣是在「教導」別人。或許誤用存在主義中「眞實人」的概念，拿嚴厲為「正直」。除非是已眞正徹悟的菩薩，這樣做只會自欺害人。佛教導的是慈悲；上人以無量的慈悲對待每一個人。即使偶然有弟子因做錯事或態度不對而被上人喝斥時，無論這錯誤有多麼嚴重，弟子都會明顯地感受到上人慈悲，感受到自己被攝受於他的慈悲力場之中。這只有證眞到「那個程度」的人才能做到，絕非旁人所能模仿或強裝的。而我們到了甚麼程度，雖然我們不一定直說，可我們自己心中是有數的。若無自知之明，最終我們只會欺騙自己，給自己和別人製造隔閡。慈悲對於每個人都是至關重要的。
這使我想到前比丘恆具在他為時一年，一千哩的三步一拜的最後幾天所遇到的那位白鬍子的小胖老頭兒。那是一九七四年，在西雅圖郊區一個小鎮的雜貨店。這位小個子老人走到他的面前說：「你要知道佛教導了甚麼嗎？」恆具吃了一驚，不知所措，最後說：「你說，佛教導了甚麼呢？」那人眼睛一亮說：「佛教導要慈悲。佛說我們不應再與周圍人相互爭鬥，可大多數人都不聽。」
感覺到那人能夠看穿自己，恆具大叫：「不聽甚麼？」「不聽佛所教導的嘛！」那人笑著又加一句：「我覺得你還沒有完全被度化。」恆具當時是光著頭、穿著僧袍的。
恆具連忙為自己辯護：「我沒說我十全十美啊！」那人頓了一下，靠上前逼視著恆具的眼睛。這時，一連串自己對別人生氣的景象都在恆具的腦海中呈現了出來。那人說：「佛教導要慈悲；你得慈悲點。」接著他摘下眼鏡，臉向前移到離恆具面龐一呎左右說：「我不是你的敵人，是你的朋友。你知道有幾個人會與你談這些話？」這是沙門的慈悲。
恆具為之震撼，無言以對。他怎麼會這麼瞭解恆具，似乎恆具是透明的一樣。恆具只得埋頭上路繼續拜下去，並深思上人的名言：
「迴光返照！」
「真認自己錯，莫論他人非；
他非即我非，同體名大悲。」
正如佛所說：
「比丘，世間一切功德，不及真誠慈悲的十六分之一。真誠慈悲之光熱遠勝其他之一切。」「若是和尚能修慈悲即使短如一彈指之時間，他也可稱得起比丘之名，也是禪坐，寶踐師父教導，接受忠告，沒虛受信施。」「要能幹、直爽、正直、和藹可親，柔和而不傲慢，知足而樂於助人，少事儉樸，感官安詳，熱忱，不魯莽，不為宗派情緒所動搖。那怕一點點智者會斥責的事也不去做。應這樣觀想：『願一切眾生快樂平安，願他們心中充滿快樂，願無人相互羞辱，願無人相互輕視。』絕不應因怨恨而希望別人痛苦。好似母親用生命來保護唯一的兒子一樣，應該對一切眾生，全世界修習無量的慈悲心。」
如果我們都從內心發出慈悲，無論是出家還是在家人，我們都可以效法沙門的慈悲，這個世界怎麼會不變得更好？
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One of the most interesting experiences of the Master's kindness occurred in the late eighties over ten years ago. One of the American monks had made a vow that he would go into total seclusion and silence until he had memorized the entire Shurangama Sutra in Chinese. Because he was by no means a Chinese scholar, this task was sure to take at least several years. After three years he was still diligently working to fulfill his vow. He never left the two rooms that he lived in the Great Compassion Quad, which also had an adjoining yard with a very high fence for him to walk around in. He maintained the strictest silence and was totally alone, cut off from all human contact in his rooms, with the exception that once a day a person would bring food to him through an opening in a window specifically made for that purpose. So, at this time his father and mother unexpectedly visited the City from their home in Seattle, Washington. They were both zealous Christians and had never really liked the fact that their son had become a Buddhist monk. Indeed, his father was an Evangelical Christian Minister. In the office they asked to see their son. The Master told me to explain to them the nature of his strict practice of being in total seclusion, and then to go to the monk's quarters and ask him if he wanted to see his parents. The Master told me to tell him that it was completely up to him—he could see them or not see them. His parents at that time were in their 70's, and they specifically said that this could be their very last opportunity to see their son, as death could come at any time for them.
I went to the monk's seclusion quarters and called out to him. He could see me clearly through the window where he received his daily meal. I immediately told him it was unnecessary to talk. Then I explained to him that the Venerable Master had sent me, and then told him about his parents' wish, and how it was totally up to him whether to see them or not. I said, "Just shake your head yes or no." He hesitated for about ten seconds and then shook his head no! As I walked to the office, I dreaded having to tell his parents of his decision. I knew they would be severely distraught. It turned out to be even worse than I had thought. His father was very, very upset. He kept saying how old he was and how he could be gone any day. And now he was not even able to see his own son. His mother, although slightly calmer, was quite distressed about the situation. This was probably one of the worst experiences of my life. They were quite sad and depressed. Then all of a sudden the Master came into the office. I quickly explained the situation to him, and he in his characteristic "everything's okay, no problem" manner said to tell his parents to wait a little while. The Master said he had a meeting with some people and would talk to them about it right after the meeting. Later, I found out that the Master took the parents to the monk's quarters and told the monk that he should talk to his parents. His parents went into his seclusion room and sat down and chatted with him. They were very, very happy. It turned out that the Master was in a sense testing the monk to see if he knew what would be the proper thing to do in this very critical situation. The monk had failed the test, but learned a very important lesson on the Shramana's kindness.
One final example of the Master's concern and empathy for others occurred when he was first hospitalized. After the Master had gone through so many medical procedures for four or five days in the hospital, one morning his entire team of doctors (three specialists) came to visit him. It was obvious that their intention was to console the Master and make him feel comfortable and confident that he would be okay. They were quite surprised, or perhaps a better word would be astounded, when their visit quickly changed to the Master consoling them. He told them how sorry he was to have to put them through so much trouble, that it must have been terribly difficult for them, etc. The head of the team was very moved. He said that in all the years of dealing with patients in such critical situations, none had ever said anything about their concern for him as a doctor. Previous to his experience with the Master, it had always been the case that his patients were very distressed and needed to be consoled by him. Here the tables were turned, so to speak. This is the Shramana's kindness.
Again, as I reflect on the literally hundreds, or perhaps even thousands, of examples of the Shramana's kindness that we were blessed to be able to witness and experience from what many of us believe was a Bodhisattva in the flesh, I have to lament at how so often we treat each other with so much anger and hatred. How we quickly judge others, and are unforgiving of their shortcomings. Someone goes against our wishes or criticizes us or doesn't show the proper respect due to our position or we are forced by circumstances to do something we really don't want to do--our ego is bruised and we get upset and angry, or even worse, blowup in a public situation. Or perhaps we overestimate ourselves and are purposely harsh to others, thinking that we are teaching them. Or we think our harshness is being straightforward and true, confused by the existentialist's idea of being an authentic person. Unless one is really a greatly enlightened Bodhisattva, one is only fooling oneself and harming others. The Buddha taught loving kindness! The Venerable Master always had an incredible degree of kindness for everyone. Even on the rare occasions when the Master was reprimanding a disciple for doing something wrong, or having a wrong attitude—regardless of how serious—the Master's great loving kindness was still quite palpable. One still felt enveloped in the force field of his compassion. Only a person who is really "there" can be this way. This is not something one can mimic or pretend to have or pretend to be. Although people might not tell us, they know in their hearts where we are really at. Ultimately, we only fool ourselves, and create illnesses for ourselves and others. Kindness is so important for everyone.
This brings to mind the little chubby old man with the white beard and glasses, who encountered the monk Heng Ju in a general store in a little town outside of Seattle, on the very last days of Heng Ju's 1000-mile and one year "three steps, one bow" pilgrimage back in 1974. The little old man walked right up to him and said, "Do you want to know what the Buddha taught?" Heng Ju was caught by surprise and fumbled for a response, finally saying: "Okay, what did the Buddha teach?" The man, with a twinkle in his eye said, "The Buddha taught compassion. The Buddha said that we should stop knocking each other around, but most people don't buy it!"
Feeling that the man could see right through him, Heng Ju exclaimed, "Buy what?"
"What the Buddha taught!" laughed the little man. "I don't think you're a complete convert," he said to Heng Ju, who of course, was clad in his monastic robes with shaven head.
Heng Ju got very defensive and said: "I didn't say I was perfect!" The little man paused, and then moved closer and looked right into Heng Ju's eyes.
Heng Ju began to have a steady stream of memories of getting angry with others. "The Buddha taught compassion. Be more compassionate!" he said. Then he took off his glasses and stuck his face up about twelve inches in front of Heng Ju's face, and said, "I'm not your enemy. I'm your friend. How many people do you know who would talk to you like this?" The Shramana's kindness.
Heng Ju was totally overwhelmed and speechless. How could this man know Heng Ju so well, as if he were completely transparent. All Heng Ju could do was continue on his way bowing, as he deeply reflected on the Venerable Master's famous verse: Return the Light! Look Within! Truly recognize your own mistakes. Do not speak of the faults of others. Others' faults are just my own faults. The revelation that we are all the same is called Great Compassion.
Or as the Buddha said in the following quotes:
"Monks, whatever kinds of worldly merit there are, all are not worth 1/16th part of the heart-deliverance of loving kindness. In shining and beaming and radiance, the heart-deliverance of loving kindness far excels them." "If a monk cultivates loving kindness for as long as a fingersnap, he is called a Bhikshu. He is not devoid of dhyana-meditation. He carries out the Master's teachings, he responds to advice, and he does not eat the country's alms food in vain. " "He should be capable, straight, and very upright, easy to speak to, gentle and not proud, contented and easy to support, having few duties and of a frugal way of life, with his sense-faculties serene, zealous, and not impudent, and not swayed by the emotions of the clans. And let him never do the slightest thing that other wise men might hold blameworthy. And he should think: 'Let all beings be happy and secure; let them be of a blissful heart. Let no one humiliate another. Nor should one despise anyone anywhere. ' One should never wish another misery because of anger or resentment. Just as a mother would protect with her life her own son, her only child, so one should cultivate an unbounded mind towards all beings, and loving kindness towards all the world."
Wouldn't the world be a much better place if all of us could always come to this state of the heart-deliverance of loving kindness; if all of us, monastic and layperson alike, could emulate the Shramana's kindness?
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