禮者立也，故孔子云：「不知禮，無以立也。」又云：「生事之以禮，死葬之以禮，祭之以禮，可謂孝矣。」子夏問孝，子日：「色難。」子游問孝，子日：「今之孝者，是謂能養」。
講到這個禮儀，人無論做什麼事情要有禮貌；你要沒有禮貌，那就是沒有教育的人，很粗野的人，這是沒有禮貌。所以說「禮者立也」，禮這一個字就是能站立起來。立起來什麼呢？把你的人格立起來，能有一個好的人格，good personality。「故孔子云」：所以孔子才說：「不知禮，無以立」。說這個人，他要不知道禮貌；對人一點禮貌沒有，那簡直等於禽獸一樣的；和這個禽獸沒有分別。所以無以立也，他沒有法子立得住。在這個社會上、世界上沒有他站立的地方，因為他沒有禮貌。
「又云」：他又說了，這也是孔子說的。「生事之以禮」：說父母在生的時候，你事奉他。這個事就是侍奉、奉養他；以禮，要有禮貌。什麼叫有禮貌呢？好像早晨要向父母問安，這叫晨則省；省他父親母親晚上睡得好不好，有沒有什麼麻煩。或者失眠啊？睡不著覺啊？這晨則省。昏則定，到晚間要去定。定，看看父親母親睡了沒睡？睡得好不好？這個被蓋得嚴沒嚴？沒嚴給他好好地蓋一蓋，這叫定。出去的時候要向父親母親告訴一聲，說我要到什麼地方去啦！回來也要先見見父母這都是禮貌。這是生事之以禮。
「死葬之以禮」：等他死的時候，你不能不管他，要把他埋葬起來，埋葬也要很合乎禮的。「祭之以禮」：埋葬起來就完了，就不管啦？也不是的。埋葬之後，又要祭之。什麼叫祭之呢？逢年遇節；或者他死的那一天；或者他生日那一天，到他墳上去祭一遍，拿一點香花、供果。在家人就拿一點酒、肉，去給爸爸媽媽，請他喝酒啊！吃肉啊！這叫祭。祭之以禮，也要有一點禮。到那地方擺上像拜佛似的，要叩幾個頭。「可謂孝矣」：這也可以說是孝順了。
「子夏問孝」：孔子常常對弟子講孝道，講來講去，這個子夏他還不明白。子夏姓古，名商，字子夏；他姓古，名叫商，字叫子夏。他就請問孔子，說：夫子。這個夫子就是師父，叫師父叫夫子。他請問老夫子－－儒教講老夫子，老夫子就是老師－－就是我的老師今天講孝，我也不太明白。究竟怎麼樣盡孝啊？好像前面講生事之以禮，死葬之以禮，祭之以禮，他不明白，他就問了。問什麼叫孝呢？
「子曰：『色難。』」什麼叫孝？說是孝順父母，最大的毛病就是不發脾氣；要是能不發脾氣，這就是孝啦！色難，這顏色的侍奉是很難的，就是對父母不發脾氣。因為子夏他很粗野的，他對父母是張眉瞪眼地，就這麼樣子，對父親母親他也發脾氣。所以他問孔子怎麼樣盡孝，孔子就說色難。你只要不發脾氣就可以啦！「子游問孝」，「子曰：『今之孝者，是謂能養』』：孔子說現在孝順父母的人，說是能養活父母，這就認為是孝了。
待續
問：我的父母在大陸去世，我未能上墳，在台灣拜佛，他無法得到，是嗎？
上人：你心誠，他離得多遠，也一樣感應道交。若不心誠，就在面前，也不靈感。
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Text:
The word propriety is defined by a homonym in Chinese which means “to set up”or“to stand.” Therefore, Confucius said, “If a man has no sense of propriety, he has nothing to stand on.” He also said, “Serving [one's parents] with propriety when they are alive, burying them with propriety after death, and making sacrifices on their behalf with propriety is filial piety.”
Confucius' disciple, Zi Xia, asked about filial piety. The Master replied, “It consists in not getting angry.”
When Zi You asked about filial piety, the Master replied, “Filial piety nowadays consists of supporting one's parents.”
Commentary:
No matter what people do, they should have good manners. If you don't have good manners, then this shows a lack of education; you will appear rough and impolite. The word propriety is defined by a homonym in Chinese which means “to set up”or“to stand.” Propriety is what you establish your character on; with propriety you can have a good personality. Therefore, Confucius said, “If a man has no sense of propriety, he has nothing to stand on.” If a person doesn't show any courtesy to others, then he's no different from an animal. He cannot keep his standing for long. If he doesn't have any manners, there is no place for him in society or in the world.
He, Confucius, also said, “Serving [one's parents] with propriety when they are alive. Serving them with propriety means attending to them with courtesy. For example, in the morning one greets one's parents and asks if they slept well the night before, or if they were disturbed and could not sleep. At night, one makes sure one's mother and father have gone to bed and are sleeping peacefully. One checks to see if they are fully covered by their blankets. If not, one arranges the blankets to cover them. Before one goes out, one should tell one's parents where one is going. Upon returning, one should first go to see one's parents. This is all part of propriety. This is serving [one's parents] with propriety when they are alive.
Burying them with propriety after death. You cannot neglect them when they die. Their funeral arrangements should also be made in accord with propriety. And making sacrifices on their behalf with propriety. Is it the case that once they are buried, it's all over and there's nothing else you have to do? No. After their burial, you must make sacrifices. On certain special days, such as the day of their death and their birthday, you should go to their grave to make offerings—perhaps bringing some incense, flowers, or fruits. Ordinary laypeople may bring some wine or meat and invite their parents to partake of them. Such sacrifices should also be done in accord with propriety. You should set up an altar as when we bow to the Buddhas, and make a few bows. This is filial piety. This can be called filial piety.
Confucius' disciple, Zi Xia, asked about filial piety. Confucius often discussed the principles of filial piety with his disciples. After many such discussions, his student Zi Xia still didn’t understand. Zi Xia's surname was Gu, and his given name was Shang; Zi Xia was his alias. He said, “Teacher, today you spoke about filiality. I still don't quite understand exactly how we should fulfill our filial duties.” He didn't understand how to serve his parents with propriety when they were alive, how to bury them with propriety, and how to make sacrifices with propriety on their behalf after death, so he inquired about the meaning of filial piety.
The Master replied, “It consists in not getting angry.” What is meant by filial piety? The biggest problem in being filial and obedient to one's parents is to avoid getting angry. If one can avoid getting angry, just that is filial piety! To maintain a pleasant demeanor in serving one's parents is very difficult. This means not losing one's temper at one's parents. Because Zi Xia was a rough fellow who would glare at his parents and get mad at them, when he asked Confucius how to be filial, Confucius said it consisted in not getting angry. All you have to do is not get angry.
When Zi You asked about filial piety, the Master replied, “Filial piety nowadays consists of supporting one's parents. Keeping one's parents alive is considered filial piety nowadays.”
To be continued
Question: My father and mother passed away in Mainland China, and I haven't been able to visit their grave. I think that when I'm bowing to the Buddhas in Taiwan, they can't attain the benefit. Is this true?
Venerable Master: If your mind is sincere, then no matter how far away you are, it will still be
efficacious. However, if your mind is not sincere, then even if they were before you, it wouldn't be efficacious. |
