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恒義師生長在道教家庭，但是從小祖母在每年中秋節那一天，必定帶著她上廟裏上香拜佛吃齋。年年如是，以致每年快到中秋節前幾天，她就會提醒祖母：「該上廟裏去啦！」到了那一天，祖母就會告訴她﹕「妳到隔壁人家去換衣服。我會過來叫妳一塊去。」因為祖母只願帶恒義師去，又恐其他孫子們跟著，所以叫她去隔壁人家換出門衣服，以避開弟妹們。恒義師自小就如此結下了佛緣。
她在學校唸書時，深覺持齋的老師氣質不同，又看到出家人，覺得很莊嚴心生仰慕。因此於1990年入臺北法界印經會服務。後來又進了本會在台灣南部六龜的佛學院學佛，並斷了葷，跟著大眾吃齋。於當年上人訪臺時，皈依了三寶。
一日聽一位法師講報答父母恩之最好的方法就是出家，即萌生出家之念。但是當時顧慮仍然很多，認為剃了頭很不方便，心理不安。1992年底，上人返臺時，終於克服了心理障礙，剃度出家。當時上人便給了果廉、恒義之名。1995年來美受具足戒，上人已離世，未能親承教誨，這是恒義師最為遺憾的事。
恒義師在六龜正法佛學院學習時，覺得老師們教導很辛苦，但自己大多時間都昏沉地過日子，毫不精進。自覺慚愧，因此常在佛菩薩前懺悔，希望能不再昏沉。有人告以唸經出聲有效，一試之下果然有效，不再昏沉。又因為自己記性不好，願修地藏法門。因此每晚下殿後拜地藏王菩薩求開智慧、不昏沉。拜了幾年，果然清醒了許多。
現在恒義師住金山寺，每晚精進地拜地藏王菩薩，希望將來再在上人座下出家時，親從上人手中受戒。 |
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Bhikshuni Heng Yi grew up in a Taoist family. However, every year on the Mid-Autumn Festival her grandmother would take her to a Buddhist temple to worship and eat vegetarian food. She would remind her grandmother about their visit to the temple a few days in advance. On the day of the Festival, her grandmother would tell her, "Go change at the neighbor's house. I'll come and fetch you." Her grandmother only wished to take Heng Yi Shr along and didn’t want her other grandchildren to find out. Thus Heng Yi Shr developed ties with Buddhism since she was little.
As a student in school, Heng Yi Shr noticed that her teachers who were vegetarians were different. She admired left-home people and thought they looked very graceful . In 1990, she began volunteering at the Dharma Realm Buddhist Books Distribution Association, and later on enrolled at the Proper Dharma Buddhist Academy in southern Taiwan. She followed a vegetarian diet like everyone else. That same year, she took refuge with the Triple Jewel when the Ven. Master Hua visited Taiwan.
One day she heard a Dharma Master say that the best way to repay the kindness of one's parents was to leave the home-life. She considered leaving home, but she still had many concerns and felt it would be inconvenient to be a nun. When the Ven. Master returned to Taiwan at the end of 1992, she finally overcame the psychological obstacles and had her head shaved. The Ven. Master gave her two Dharma names: Guo Lian ("Fruit of Purity") and Heng Yi ("Constant Righteousness"). In 1995, she came to the U.S. and received full ordination. Her greatest regret is that she did not have a chance to be taught personally by the Venerable Master, who had just passed away.
While Heng Yi Shr was studying at Proper Dharma Buddhist Academy , she knew that her teachers worked very hard, yet she herself was usually drowsy and not vigorous. Feeling ashamed of this, she would repent before the Buddhas and Bodhisattvas and hope her drowsiness would go away. Someone told her that it might help to recite Sutras aloud, and when she tried it, it worked: she wasn't drowsy anymore. Having a weak memory, she likes to cultivate Earth Store Bodhisattva's Dharma door. Every night she bows to this Bodhisattva and prays that her wisdom will develop and she will not be so drowsy. After several years of bowing, she is now much more alert.
Heng Yi Shr now lives at Gold Mountain Monastery and vigorously bows to Earth Store Bodhisattva every night. She hopes that when she leaves the home-life with the Ven. Master in a future life, she will be able to receive the precepts from the Master in person. |
