記得在我年輕時,目睹公路上的車禍,血肉模糊的慘狀,宛如人間活地獄!這不禁讓我體會到人生無常,和生老病死苦的無奈。因此引發了我對人類生命的探討及萌生學習佛法的興趣,期能早日找到「了生脫死」的法門。
一九九三年我來美國參加法界聖城整修,受到上人無微不至的關懷,內心有著無比的感激與慚愧,就懇請上人為我圓頂,並授沙彌十戒。
出家後,就隨著小沙彌們,南下到洛杉機的「長堤聖寺」共修。登壇受大戒前,遽聞恩師圓寂,內心悲慟不已。頭七後,忽感頭昏目眩,從此就病魔纏身,雖遍訪名醫吃藥也無用。因此我深深覺得,這是業障現前,必須藉著佛菩薩及師父的加被,才能得癒。所以就天天跪在師父的法相前,誠心地懺悔過去所造諸惡業。並虔誠地誦念「地藏經」與「法華經」,及禮佛拜懺。到了三壇大戒的前一天,頓時覺得一股晦氣,由身內慢慢騰空而去,剎那間感到一陣清涼,所有的陰霾、病痛一掃而空,我感受到上人的威德及佛菩薩的加被,終於讓我圓滿授完具足戒。
受完三壇大戒後,我仍在上人的法像前,每天重覆的發願,願效法師父的十八大願,以度化眾生為己任。現在雖已年老,無復往日的健康硬朗,但我願老實修行,時時勤念阿彌陀佛聖號,期能早生西方極樂淨土,待功果圓滿後再倒駕慈航,度脫苦難眾生,同登佛國,早成正覺。 |
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I remember that when I was young, I saw a car accident on the highway. The gory scene of the accident made me feel it was a living hell on earth. It made me realize that life is impermanent and that we cannot avoid the sufferings of birth, old age, sickness, and death. I began to ponder to meaning of life, and I became interested in studying Buddhism, hoping to find a way to be liberated from birth and death.
In 1993 when I came to America and helped with the renovation work at the City of the Dharma Realm, I was touched and filled with deep gratitude and shame by the Venerable Master's extremely considerate concern for all of us. I sincerely requested the Master to shave my head, and I then received the ten precepts of a novice.
After leaving home, I went south to Long Beach Monastery in Los Angeles to live and cultivate with a group of young novices. While preparing to the complete precepts, I was deeply grieved to hear that our kind Teacher had already completed the stillness. After the first week of memorial services, I felt dizzy and became ill. Although I went to various well-known doctors and took the medicines they prescribed, it was to no avail. Then I knew deep down that the illness was a karmic obstacle, and I would have to rely on the aid of the Buddhas, Bodhisattvas, and the Master to help me recover. Every day I knelt in front of the Master's photograph and earnestly repented of all the evil karma I had created. I also sincerely recited the Earth Store Sutra and the Lotus Sutra, and bowed to the Buddhas in repentance. On the day before the ordination ceremony, a turbid energy left my body and gradually dispersed in the air. At that instant a wave of refreshing coolness swept over me, and the illness and pain completely vanished. Through the Master's awesome virtue and the aid of the Buddhas and Bodhisattvas, I was able in the end to receive the complete precepts.
After the ordination, I continued kneeling before the Master's picture every day, making vows to emulate the Master's eighteen great vows and to regard teaching and crossing over living beings as my personal responsibility. Although I am not as hale and hearty as I was when I was younger, I want to cultivate honestly and vigorously recite Amitabha Buddha's name. I hope to soon be reborn in the Western Land of Ultimate Bliss, perfect my merit and virtue, and then turn the compassionate boat around and come back to rescue living beings, so that they can all reach the Buddhaland and soon attain Right Enlightenment
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