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在未有接觸佛法以前，我便一直思索「究竟人生有何意義？」為了尋求答案，便借閱了一些儒家、老子，以及哲學方面的書籍，但始終找不到圓滿的解答。直到有一天，往一素食館吃飯，隨手拿了些結緣的佛書回去看，一看之下，多年來一直想找的答案，終於找到了。人一生下來，便一定有死的一天，若想了生脫死，唯有依佛說的道理去實踐才有希望。自此以後，便借閱更多的佛書，及有註解的佛經，決心吃素，也學著念誦佛菩薩聖號及禪坐。
大學畢業後，決心就讀佛學研究所，奈何家書兩封，催我返回香港。回港後，決心以修行為重，一切看輕。在這期間，曾往中國朝四大名山，於四川峨嵋山金頂有幸得見佛光。返港之後，欲專心修行，便帶了一個露營用的帳篷及一些食物，往深山打坐念佛。然而，想認真修行，必定會遇魔考。第一天晚上，便遇上「冬瓜鬼」，如山般壓在身上，第二天黃昏時，又於帳篷附近發現山火，幸得觀音菩薩的威神力加被，才化險為夷。為了解決生活問題，便當了業餘補習教師，如是邊修行邊教書，過得蠻自在的。奈何家人知道後，要我找一份全職做，就在這一刻，內心感觸到在家修行實在有很多障礙，便生起要出家修行的意念。於是聽一位佛友的建議，往香港跑馬地佛教講堂參加浴佛法會。法會結束後，便往慈興禪寺住住看。約半年左右，上人於一九八八年往香港訪問時，在其允許下剃度出家。
個人能夠出家，想必不是偶然的事。記得在三歲那年，家人為個人剃了光頭，從那天起，家人便常常用「和尚」的名字來稱呼個人。小時候常認為「和尚」這個名稱真不好，因為父親常說：┌懶人才做和尚，勤力的人不會當和尚的。」現在才知道這個稱呼是非常尊貴的，多少人想當和尚，但總還跳不出塵世的圈套。 |
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Before I encountered Buddhism, the question “What is the meaning of life?” was constantly on my mind. In my search for an answer, I read the teachings of Confucius, Laozi, and other philosophers, but I didn’t find a completely satisfactory answer. One day I took home some free Buddhist books from a vegetarian restaurant. As soon as I started reading them, I knew I’d finally found the answer I’d been looking for. If a person is born, he will also die. If one wants to liberate oneself from the cycle of birth and death, the only thing one can do is honestly practice the Buddha’s teachings. Since then, I have read a great number of Buddhist books and annotated Buddhist scriptures. I have also become a vegetarian and learned to meditate and to recite the names of the Buddhas and Bodhisattvas.
After graduating from college, I wanted to pursue graduate studies in Buddhism. Unfortunately, my family wrote two letters opposing my decision, and I had no choice but to return home to Hong Kong. In Hong Kong I made cultivation my first priority and considered everything else to be of secondary importance. I had the opportunity to make pilgrimages to the Four Holy Mountains in China, and the fortune of seeing the Buddha-light at the Golden Summit of Mount Emei in Sichuan Province. After returning to Hong Kong, I decided to concentrate on my cultivation. Equipped with a tent and some provisions, I hiked into the mountains to meditate and recite the Buddha’s name. However, sincere cultivation always evokes demons. The first night, I encountered a “winter melon” (kumbhanda) ghost, which pressed down on me like a mountain. The second evening, I discovered a forest fire near the place where my tent was pitched. Fortunately, Guanyin Bodhisattva’s awesome spiritual power protected me and nothing happened. In order to support myself, I found a part-time job as a tutor and lived quite a carefree life, cultivating and teaching side-by-side. When my family found out, however, they wanted me to find a full-time job. At that point I felt that there were too many hindrances to cultivation as a lay person, and I conceived the thought of leaving the home-life. At a friend’s suggestion, I attended a Buddha’s Birthday celebration at the Buddhist Lecture Hall in Happy Valley, Hong Kong. After it was over, I went to stay at Cixing Monastery to try out monastic life. About half a year later, in 1988, the Venerable Master came to Hong Kong and I left the home-life with his permission.
I do not think my leaving home was a chance event. Starting from the day my parents shaved my head when I was three years old, they have called me by the nickname “Monk.” I detested the name when I was young, because my father always said, “Only lazy bums become monks; hardworking people would never be monks.” Now I realize that this name is a very honorable one. So many would like to become monks, but are unable to escape the confines of worldly life.
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