擅,是擅自,也就是隨自己的心意,很任性地,想要怎樣就怎樣,不徵求父母的同意。茍,是如果,這是一種假設的
語氣;不是茍且、隨便的意思。虧,是虧損,當作動詞用,也就是令其不圓滿了。這四句話是在講:為人子女的要恭敬父母,凡事要請示父母,得父母許可才去做。
不要自作主張,自作聰明,以為自己長大了,讀的書多,見識也廣,把父母當做老古董或土包子,隨隨便便地,一點也不恭敬;或者以為小事沒關係,大事再稟報父
母就可以了。殊不知我們已在無形中把為人子女的孝道虧損了!
孝道好比圓潤晶瑩的明珠,是天地間的至寶。凡人保護珠寶像命似的,生怕碰壞了;但是卻不知保護孝道這顆與生俱
來的大明珠,輕易就虧損了它。這真是本末倒置,不知輕重啊!這是就處理事情上說的。再下來四句,則就收受物品而言。也不要以為那只是個小物件,沒關係的,
父母不會知道;就知道了也不要緊,反正父母不會要的。這可真大大地傷了父母的慈心了!天底下哪有漠視人而人家不會傷心的?更何況是對自己有生養之恩的父
母!
孝順父母,首要的是存恭敬心;如果光養而不知敬,那和養貓、養狗又有何區別?無論如何,恭敬父母,事無巨細,
物無大小,都能稟明父母,總是不會錯的。不要因為怕麻煩或存私心,錯了又不改,還給自己當辯護律師,說:我只是不想因為這些小事、小物來麻煩父母罷了!或
者說:我是在訓練自己果斷和獨立的能力呢!結果把天地間至寶的孝道虧損了,把人世間至愛的父母心傷了!
曾子是孔子學生中以孝聞名的一位,當他的父親曾點(是孔子的早期學生)還在世時,曾子以酒肉奉養父親,如有剩
餘,一定恭敬地請示要給誰吃?當父親進飲食時,若問還有沒有多餘的?曾子一定回答有,好教父親安心食用。後來曾子的兒子曾元侍奉曾子吃飯,吃完就自己把酒
肉收了,也不問問父親如何安排;曾子若問還有沒有多餘的?曾元就說:「沒有了!」意思是希望下餐再拿出來給父親吃。因此孟子就評論這件事,認為曾子善於奉
養、承順父母的心意,而曾元只是能奉養父母的口體罷了!試想想看:這樣的小事、小物,曾子都不敢自專,也不擅自私藏,難怪人家尊稱為「大孝曾參」,也難怪
孔子把孝經傳授於他了!
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As children, we should not follow
our own wishes and do as we please, without consulting our parents.
Otherwise, we will not be fulfilling our filial duties. The first two
lines emphasize that as children we should respect our parents.
No matter what we want to do, we
should first ask our parents. We should act only after we have received
their permission. We should not casually make decisions on our own,
thinking we have already grown up. After we receive an education, we
should not regard our parents as country bumpkins and be disrespectful
to them. Nor should we think that there is no need to bring small
matters to their attention and so only report major events to them. If
we act in this way toward our parents, we have been remiss in our
filial obligations.
Filial piety is like a bright
pearl. It is the most precious jewel in the world. We cherish jewels
and protect them as carefully as our very lives, because we are afraid
of damaging them. Yet we fail to protect our filial piety, the bright
pearl within us; instead, we carelessly spoil it. Our priorities are
truly confused!.
The previous section discussed how
we should handle matters. The next two lines discuss receiving things.
We shouldn’t casually take even a very small object, thinking our
parents won’t know about it or won’t care. Such behavior would actually
cause them a lot of grief. Anyone feels hurt when he is ignored, how
much the more so our own parents.
Filiality begins with respect. If
we feed our parents but don’t respect them, how is this different from
raising cats or dogs? We should show our respect by letting our parents
know about everything we do. We shouldn’t think, “Oh, I don’t want to
bother them with these small matters,” or “I’m just trying to be more
independent.” Such thoughts would only undermine the precious virtue of
filial piety and hurt our dear parents.
Confucius’ disciple Zeng Zi was
renowned for his filial piety. When his father Zeng Dian (one of
Confucius’ earliest disciples) was still alive, Zeng Zi would serve him
his food and then respectfully ask him who should eat the leftovers,
should there be any. While eating, his father would sometimes ask if
there was any more food. Zeng Zi would always say “yes,” so his father
could eat without worrying whether there was any food left.
Later, when Zeng Zi’s son Zeng
Yuan served Zeng Zi, after Zeng Zi finished eating, Zeng Yuan would put
away the food without asking about how to deal with the leftover food.
When Zeng Zi asked his son if there was any food left over, his son
would say “no.” Zeng Yuan did this because he wanted to save the food
and serve it to his father at the next meal. Mencius’ judgement of the
situation was that while Zeng Zi knew well how to serve his parents and
comply with their wishes, Zeng Yuan only knew how to feed his parents.
Think it over: Even in such a small matter—such a minor detail—Zeng Zi
dared not do as he pleased; he dared not keep anything for himself. No
wonder people praised Zeng Zi as the “greatly filial Zeng Shen” and
Confucius had no second thoughts about teaching the “Classic of
Filiality” to him.
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