觸目心驚跳，習氣毛病跑；
若不勤修行，累劫業示現，
則恐難入道，成佛難上難。
師父領進門，修行在個人；
成佛也由它，墮落也由它，
萬法唯心造。
記得在一九八七年五月第一次到萬佛聖城的時候，這是第一次接觸佛教及初次見到師父的機緣。當我的雙眼接觸到師
父目光的一剎那，我的心臟好像給人重重地打了一下，心裡是又驚慌是又恐怖，好像過去歲月中所犯的錯誤，所做的錯事都呈現在師父面前，一點也沒有機會隱藏。
自己本身的習氣毛病都急急忙忙地從身體裡逃跑出來。回家之後，就主動對太太說以後不喝酒了，對於本來具有貪杯本性，而又有絕不放棄品酒習慣的我，也想不通
為什麼會有這樣地改變。
後來有機會接近師父，蒙師父教化，才體會出師父的威德是盡虛空遍法界。而我們凡夫俗子面對師父目光時，就像面
對照妖鏡一樣。我們沒有正知正見，不知正道的方向。我們的行住坐臥及為人處世，時時都具有習氣毛病。而師父把我們一一點破，耳提面命。記得師父常說：「為
什麼有人怕我，因為他心裡有鬼，自己有愧，所以怕我。」
脾氣須彌山，我執又障道；
若能拋棄它，消失於虛空，
開門見西方，一步入佛國。
脾氣使人生煩惱。我在還沒有見到師父之前，脾氣就像須彌山那麼高、那麼大，一點小事就沒有耐心，就發脾氣。
記得第一次到萬佛聖城參加法會，當午齋及皈依之後，師父都會坐在大殿內接受大眾頂禮及供養，接引大眾。當時我
非常不懂事，自己問自己：「怎麼大家都給師父磕頭？」於是我勉為其難地跪在師父面前問師父：「我的脾氣很壞，不知道怎麼改？」師父的反應是搖一搖頭說：
「沒有脾氣。」我很愚癡，不懂師父所說的意思，還笨笨地跪在師父面前幾分鐘才離去。回家就和太太討論，我太太說：「師父的意思是要你絕不發脾氣。」我當時
說：「那怎麼可能？」
但是我現在要說：「我一定要盡最大的力量去做到。」為什麼？因為煩惱即是菩提，愚癡代表黑暗，智慧代表光明。
師父是光明的象徵，他引領大家離開黑暗，走向光明。所以時時刻刻提醒大家不要發脾氣。
五欲不能除，六根塵六識，
妄想及執著，愚癡不見性，
若能去執著，則能得自在；
想去極樂國，何愁到不了。
我在沒有信佛前是音樂的愛好者，高中大學都喜好把玩樂器，而偏好的音樂是搖滾音樂(魔樂)，尤其喜愛把玩吉
他。皈依師父以後，還是捨不得放棄彈吉他，偶爾也會把玩一下。
記得有一次，是在赴萬佛聖城參加法會的前一天晚上，做完晚課之後，獨自一人想彈一下吉他，正陶醉在吉他的音樂
中，太太來提醒我說：「我們已經皈依師父，應該專心修行，不應該彈吉他。」當時我的心情就像一個小孩，正在玩一個他最喜歡的玩具，突然被大人沒收一樣地憤
怒。於是就順手把吉他向梳妝台摔去，並且很憤怒地說：「以後不彈了！打壞以後也沒得彈！」完全失去理性。
次日，參加萬佛城法會，在午齋之前，我照例到大齋堂察看音響系統。突然師父出現面前帶著慈祥的笑容對我說：
「章先慶，你來幫我拿一樣東西。」於是我就很恭敬地跟隨師父到齋堂後面一間房子，師父把櫃子打開說：「就是這個東西！」當我看到櫃子裡放了一把吉他，我嚇
了一大跳，用「屁滾尿流」來形容絕不過份。師父說：「某某法師以前很執著吉他，五年前被我沒收了，現在他明白道理，我就把它還給他，可以拿去做一些有利學
生的事。」
從這一件事可以告訴我們，師父的法身是隨時與我們同在，而我們每犯一次錯誤師父都會明察秋毫。在我們修行過程
中，師父也對每個不同根器的弟子以不同的方式開示、教化，要我們看破放下五欲，不要被六根、六塵、六識所轉。如果能放下而不執著，就能自在而不罣礙，而依
願往生淨土，也是指日可待。
貢高與我慢，修行之大忌。
斷自己善根，拒絕他善言，
不能入正見，亦不入正道。
如此修行者，必與魔為鄰。
師父在開示我們時，形容自大的人就像「臭」（由自大兩字組合）一樣的令人討厭。佛的慈悲是大家都想去親近。在
修行過程中，自大、自滿是障礙修道之最。
記得在一九八七年，還沒有皈依之前，在家裡就對我岳母說：「我不認為有向他人下跪的必要，因為我都不對我父母
親下跪，我為什麼要給師父磕頭？」就在那個星期天 師父在Mission College（米慎學
院）開示，開示後，大家都在給師父磕頭，我前思後想要不要去磕頭，最後像有一種無形的力量驅使我向前頂禮師父。師父就對我說：「你這麼大個子，給我磕頭，
不怕丟臉？」我嚇了一大跳，心想：「師父怎麼知道我在家說過的話？」事後檢討起來，當初不願下跪磕頭，就是貢高我慢的本性。師父即時加以開示教化，降服
我、提拔我，讓我從無知愚癡的世界走向正道，我才有今天；要不然，不接受教化，繼續生活在錯誤的思想裡，永遠是沒有機會走上修行的正道。
記得在一九八八年間，在金山寺每逢星期六下午，師父都會坐在佛殿前的沙發。當時有機會親近師父，和師父對談少
許。而我不知天高地厚，自以為看了一些師父的書，有一點心得，又改了一些壞毛病：酒、肉、賭，也滿以為自己很清淨了。於是有一次就問師父：我的定力不夠。
師父搖一搖頭，給了我一個不軟不硬的釘子說：「你還談不上定力！」是的，我還談不上定力，因為我還沒有持戒嚴謹，當然還談不上定力。由師父指點，知道自己
要學習的還多著呢！唯有虛心求教，才能獲益，自大自滿，猶如井底之蛙淺浮短視。
又記得在一九八九年，隨師赴臺灣花蓮弘法，在訪問慈濟醫院之前，師父一再提醒在家居士不可貢高我慢，要恭敬證
嚴法師，可見師父時時都在提醒我們不可傲慢的重要。
又於一九八八年，隨師弘法於桃園妙法寺，因來訪人太多，屢次入師父房內報告，每天都要受到師父責罵，但我知道
師父在考驗弟子，以及驅散弟子的貢高我慢心態。
這些寶貴的經驗，都足以告訴我：一個人不能夠謙虛及卑下，是不能成就道業的。因此，如果人自大，即使能精通詩
書經典，修行到最後，還是做了魔的眷屬。
吾在憂患中，徬徨無著落，
師父暗助之，徒兒恩澤被，
事過已多時，方知師所為；
亟感師恩德，矢志遵師訓。
自從研究所畢業之後，進入了電子公司任職工程師。在沒有接受師父教化之前，我不懂得道理，不會做人，而結了許
多惡緣，時常生活在人我是非的煩惱裡而不能自拔。皈依師父後，還是有一些煩惱，在公司任職的主管常常出難題，使我有想離開公司的想法。但是一連數個月寄出
的求職信猶如石沉大海，公司又急於精減用人，雙重壓力之下，痛苦不堪。在一個星期六，到金山寺去求見師父，當我把實情秉報師父時，師父說：你再繼續去找工
作。接著的這一星期，就有三個面談，而且三個工作都獲得。我馬上到金山寺拜謝師父，師父說：「不用謝！」我知道一個道理，凡是對師父有信心的弟子，在弟子
有困難的時候，師父一個意念就會在暗中幫助，而且事後還會不承認是他做的。
在六年之後，我自己出來創業，而這個創業的機緣又是師父的引領。當國際譯經學院遷至柏林根市之初，師父曾指示
需要一些家具，希望看機緣購置做為將來用。於是我就常常注意拍賣的消息，在購買中，我發現有一些儀器是和我的工作有關，我可以進入這個行業。
在我是工程師時，常有個心願：「只要有一種工作可以夠家用，有多一點的時間為道場做事那就好了。」師父知道弟
子有這樣的願望，指引我一條路讓我滿願。直到我自己創業後，才發現這一步一步都在師父安排下實現。弟子永遠記得師父對我的恩德。對師父的恭敬，是五體投
地。
師父現在圓寂了，我們更應該拿出「以戒為師」的態度來躬行實踐六大宗旨，讓大家能在師父的精神感召下，更加團
結，復興聖教。
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When we set eyes upon him, our hearts palpitate
in
fear.
And all our bad habits and faults flee.
If we don’t cultivate diligently,
Then the karma of many past eons will manifest
And it will be difficult to enter the Way.
Becoming a Buddha is the most difficult of difficult things.
The teacher leads us in the door,
But we ourselves must cultivate.
It’s through our own mind that we become Buddhas
It’s also because of our mind that we fall.
The myriad dharmas are made from the mind.
I remember when I went to the Sagely City of Ten
Thousand Buddhas for the first time in May of 1987 (that was my first
contact with Buddhism and the first time I saw the Venerable Master),
the instant my eyes met the gaze of the Venerable Master, I felt as if
my heart had been dealt a heavy blow. I was both startled and
frightened. It was as if all the mistakes and wrong deeds I had done in
the past were presented before the Venerable Master. I didn’t have any
chance to hide. All of my personal habits and faults sprang forth from
my body in a rush. When I got home, of my own initiative I told my wife
that I would never drink alcoholic beverages again. Given my fondness
for drinking and my habit of wine-tasting, which I would never have
given up before, I couldn’t imagine why such a change had taken place
in me.
Later on, I had opportunities to draw near the
Venerable Master and receive the Master’s teachings. It was then that I
began to perceive that the Venerable Master’s awesome virtue exhausted
the bounds of empty space and pervaded the Dharma Realm. When ordinary
people face the Venerable Master’s gaze, it is like facing a
demon-spotting mirror. We lack proper views and proper knowledge and do
not know the direction of the proper path. Whether we are moving or
still, sleeping or awake, interacting with people or handling affairs,
we are never apart from our bad habits and faults. The Venerable Master
points out each of our problems, constantly telling and reminding us. I
recall the Venerable Master often saying, “Why are some people afraid
of me? Because they have ghosts in their hearts. Since they themselves
are ashamed, they are afraid of me.”
Temper is like Mount Sumeru.
Attachment to self is an impediment to the Way.
If these things are discarded
So that they vanish into thin air,
Then as easily as opening a door, one sees the Western land.
In one step, one enters the Buddha country.
A bad temper causes people to give rise to
afflictions. Before I met the Venerable Master, my temper was as high
and as great as Mount Sumeru. I would lose my temper over a trifling
matter.
The first time I went to the Sagely City of Ten
Thousand Buddhas to attend the Dharma session, I remember that after
lunch and after the refuge ceremony, the Venerable Master would sit in
the Buddhahall and allow people to bow and make offerings to him,
gathering in people in this way. Because I didn’t understand anything
at the time, I thought to myself, “Why is everyone bowing to the
Venerable Master?” I reluctantly knelt in front of the Master and said,
“I have a very bad temper. How can I change?” The Venerable Master’s
reaction was to shake his head and say, “Have no temper.” Not
understanding the meaning of the Master’s reply, I stupidly knelt in
front of him for several more minutes before leaving. After I got home,
I discussed it with my wife. My wife said that the Venerable Master’s
meaning was, “You should not lose your temper no matter what.” At the
time I said, “How could that be possible?”
However, now I want to say that I will try my very
best to do this. Why? Because afflictions are just Bodhi. Stupidity
represents darkness and wisdom represents light. The Venerable Master
symbolizes light. He leads everyone to leave darkness behind and to
walk towards the light. That’s why he is always reminding everyone not
to lose his or her temper.
If one cannot get rid of the five desires,
Then the six sense faculties, six sense objects,
and six consciousnesses appear.
With false thoughts and attachments,
One is made stupid and cannot see the nature.
If one can cast off attachments,
Then one will be at ease.
If one wishes to go to the Land of Ultimate Bliss,
What need is there to worry that one cannot reach it?
Before I became a Buddhist, I was a music lover.
During high school and college, I liked to play music, and my favorite
kind of music was rock-n-roll (demonic music). I especially enjoyed
playing the guitar. Even after I took refuge with the Venerable Master,
I couldn’t give up the guitar—I would still play it occasionally.
I remember once, the night before we were going to
the Sagely City of Ten Thousand Buddhas to participate in a Dharma
session, after I had finished evening recitation, I had an urge to play
the guitar. Just as I was intoxicated by the guitar’s music, my wife
reminded me, “We’ve already taken refuge with the Venerable Master. You
should concentrate on cultivation and not be playing the guitar.” At
the time I felt as indignant and angry as a little kid who is playing
with his favorite toy when it is suddenly confiscated by an adult. So I
flung the guitar at the dresser and retorted angrily, “I won’t play it
anymore in the future. If it gets broken, I won’t be able to play it
anyway.” I had completely lost my sense of reason.
The next day we went to take part in the Dharma
session at the Sagely City. Before the noon meal, I went into the
dining hall to check the sound system as usual. Suddenly the Venerable
Master appeared in front of me and said to me with a kind smile, “Sam
Jing, please help me carry something.” I very reverently followed the
Master to a small room in the back of the dining hall. The Master
opened up a cabinet and said, “This is it.” I was shocked to see a
guitar lying in the cabinet. I was scared out of my wits, to put it
mildly. The Venerable Master said, “A certain Dharma Master used to be
very attached to his guitar, so five years ago I took it away from him.
Now he understands the principles, so I am going to return it to him.
He can use it in activities that are beneficial to students.
This incident shows that the Venerable Master’s
Dharma body is constantly with us. Every time we make a mistake, the
Venerable Master sees it clearly down to the last detail. In the course
of cultivation, the Venerable Master also uses different methods to
instruct and teach his disciples according to their individual
dispositions. He wants us to see through and renounce the five desires
and not let ourselves be turned by the six sense faculties, six sense
objects, and six consciousnesses anymore. If we can successfully put
them down and not cling to them, then we will be at ease and free of
impediments. According to our vows, in no time we will certainly be
born in the Pure Land.
Arrogance and self-conceit
Are absolute taboos in cultivation.
They cause you to cut off your own good roots
And refuse to listen to good advice from others.
You will not be able to develop proper views,
Nor enter the proper path.
Such cultivators will certainly end up
Next door to the demons.
Once when the Venerable Master was instructing us,
he described people with big egos as being “stinky” [in Chinese, the
character for “stinky” is composed of the characters for “self” and
“big”] and therefore repulsive to others. On the other hand, the
Buddha’s kindness and compassion makes everyone want to draw near him.
In the course of cultivation, an inflated ego and self-conceit are the
greatest impediments to practicing the Way.
Before I took refuge in 1987, I remember saying
to my mother-in-law at home, “I don’t think there’s any need for me to
kneel in front of anyone else. I don’t even kneel in front of my
parents, so why should I bow to the Venerable Master?” That Sunday, the
Venerable Master gave a Dharma talk at Mission College. After the talk
was over, everyone was bowing to the Venerable Master, and I was
deliberating over whether I should go bow or not. Finally, there seemed
to be an invisible force pushing me forward, making me bow before the
Master. The Venerable Master said, “You’re such a tall guy. Aren’t you
afraid you’ll lose face by bowing to me?” I was shocked, thinking, “How
did the Master know what I had said at home?” Later I analyzed the
matter and realized that my unwillingness to kneel and bow was due to
my arrogant character. Because the Venerable Master immediately
instructed, taught, and subdued me, pulling me out of my deluded,
ignorant world and setting me on the proper path, I am where I am
today. If I had been unable to accept his teaching, I would have
continued living with my mistaken notions without ever getting an
opportunity to walk on the proper path of cultivation.
I also remember that during the year of 1988, the
Venerable Master would sit on the sofa in front of the Buddhahall every
Saturday afternoon at Gold Mountain Monastery. On those occasions I had
the opportunity to draw near to the Venerable Master and converse with
him a little bit. I was rather naive, thinking that I had read the
Venerable Master’s books and gained some insight from them. I had
gotten rid of some of my vices—drinking, meat-eating, and gambling—and
smugly thought I was quite pure. So once I asked for instruction from
the Venerable Master, saying, “I don’t have enough samadhi power.” The
Master shook his head and put me off neither gently nor harshly,
saying, “You’re not ready to talk about samadhi yet.” It’s true, I’m
not ready to talk about samadhi, because I haven’t been able to
maintain the precepts strictly yet. So of course I’m not ready to talk
about samadhi. From the Venerable Master’s instruction, I realized that
I still had a lot to learn! The only way to learn would be to seek
instruction humbly. With self-conceit and arrogance, one is like the
shallow and short-sighted frog at the bottom of a well.
I also remember when I accompanied the Venerable
Master to Hualien, Taiwan, to propagate the Dharma in 1989. Before we
went to visit the Mercy Salvation Hospital, the Venerable Master
repeatedly reminded the laypeople that we should be respectful to
Dharma Master Cheng Yen and not be proud or arrogant. The Venerable
Master was always reminding us of the importance of not being arrogant.
Also, in 1988 when I followed the Master to propagate the Dharma at
Wonderful Dharma Monastery in Taoyuan, because there were many visitors
I had to go into the Master’s room to report to him many times. Every
day I was scolded by the Master, but I knew the Master was only testing
me and driving away my arrogance and conceit. These valuable
experiences have told me that if a person cannot be humble and lower
himself, he will not be able to accomplish his work in the Way. If a
person is self-conceited, then even if he were to master the classics
and Sutras, he would still end up in the retinue of demons after all
his cultivation.
I was in worry and difficulty.
At a loss for what to do.
My teacher helped me without my knowing,
Bathing me with his kindness.
Only after a long time
Did I learn that this was my teacher’s doing.
In gratitude to my teacher’s grace,
I resolve to follow his teachings.
After graduating from graduate school, I got a job
as an engineer in an electronics company. Before I encountered the
Venerable Master’s teaching, I didn’t understand any principles and
didn’t know how to be a proper human being. I created many bad
conditions with people and constantly lived amidst the afflictions of
self and others, rights and wrongs, without being able to pull myself
out. After I took refuge with the Venerable Master, I still had some
afflictions. My supervisor in the company where I worked often gave me
difficult problems to deal with, and that caused me to think of leaving
the company. However, the job application letters that I mailed out
over several months’ time seemed to have sunk to the bottom of the sea
like stones. At the same time, the company was trying to cut down its
staff. Under this double-sided pressure, I felt extremely miserable.
One Saturday I went to Gold Mountain Monastery and requested to see the
Venerable Master. When I told the Venerable Master my situation, he
said, “Keep trying.” The following week, I had three interviews and
three job offers. I immediately went to Gold Mountain Monastery to bow
to and thank the Venerable Master. The Master said, “No need to thank
me.” I know one thing: As long as a disciple has faith in the Venerable
Master, when he is in difficulty, in a single thought the Venerable
Master will invisibly come to his aid, and after the matter he will not
acknowledge that he did anything, either.
Six years afterwards, I started my own business.
Actually, it was under the Venerable Master’s guidance that the
conditions for starting a business ripened. When the International
Translation Institute first moved to Burlingame, the Venerable Master
said that some furniture would be needed and that if the opportunity
arose, we should purchase some for future use. So I kept my eyes open
for auctions. In purchasing furniture, I discovered some equipment
related to my work, so I could enter that line of business.
When I was an engineer, I often wished I could
have a job that would support my family so I’d have more time to work
for the Way-place. The Venerable Master knew about my wish and guided
me onto that path, allowing me to fulfill my wish.
It was only after I had my business that I
realized all this was made possible by the Venerable Master’s
step-by-step guidance. I will forever remember the kindness the
Venerable Master has bestowed upon me. I venerate the Venerable Master
with all my heart.
Now that the Venerable Master has completed the
stillness, we should more than ever, with the attitude of “taking the
precepts as our teacher,” respectfully practice the Six Great
Principles. Let everyone unite under the Venerable Master’s spiritual
inspiration to make the holy teaching flourish again.
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