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我
叫萬新生，現年五十八歲，一直在醫院工作至今。
一九八九年七月，我患糖尿病。九○年六月，又患肝臟病；九一年九月，肝臟病加重，經檢查，是早期肝硬化腹水。在九二年六月時，肝臟病、糖尿病嚴重惡化，出現第二次腹水，高燒達攝氏四十度零三（華氏104.5 度），最低也在三十七、三十八度（華氏98.6、100.4度），先後持續一個多月。經住院一年多，病情雖有好轉，但一些指標仍靠藥物維持。當時，朋友們都很關心我的身體，我的太太和兒子也很著急，給我找了全國最有名的國醫看病，吃了幾百帖中藥，輸了幾百瓶液體和近百支蛋白，花去醫療費六萬多元（中國人民幣，合算美金是七千多元），也沒有取得好的效果，只是有些好轉，病情得到初步控制。
一九九三年初，有位姓王的先生送給我一本氣功書。我看後，照書本上所講的做了一段時間，但沒有堅持下來，斷斷續續。書上講的意念、圖像，如蓮花坐、寺廟、佛像，還講到坐、臥、站立、呼佛號的問題。後來，又有一位姓白的女士，引見我們認識了一位從東北過來姓陳的先生，他們帶我和我的太太去天津大悲禪院，拜佛、請了經書，請了地藏王菩薩、觀世音菩薩像，並開了光。回來後，我們為了摸清這個道理，查辭典看經書，學起來很費勁，不知從何入手，但沒有間斷。
一九九四年一月一日，經孟女士夫婦和曲女士夫婦介紹，又見到了楊先生和他的女兒楊小姐。楊小姐先用幾句話，刻劃了我的性格和為人，當時說得我心服口服，我感到字字句句恰如其分，沒有一個多餘的字；說的就是我。後又講到我的身體，說我有肝臟病、糖尿病，腎臟也不好，肝上還有兩個小腫囊。說這是果；因呢？說我殺過生，吃過甲魚、鱔魚、螃蟹、大蝦、鴿子和蛇肉，還說我用左手持槍打傷一隻小鳥的翅膀，這隻小鳥後來死了。當時，我很莫名奇妙，為什麼我的病和我殺過的生，甚至我用左手打槍，他們都一清二楚！真神了。
正在我半信半疑時，楊先生又給我講了他們是怎樣學習大師《宣化上人開示錄選集》一書的，他說：「宣化上人大師教誨我們按著五戒、十善，做人行善。要天天懺悔，從內心深處認識自己的錯誤，下狠心不犯五戒，改過自新。」對我啟發很大。我感到宣化上人大師講的都是實實在在，而且又很深刻的道理，當時我想：「做人就按大師講的去做！」楊先生看我的心很誠，他又引導我怎麼呼佛號，怎麼懺悔，並幫我把被我殺害的眾生從我身上送走。頓時我感到全身很輕鬆，好像我的病都好了。接著，楊先生又拍打我的全身，我感到就像穿在我身上多年的又腫又重的一身破棉衣，從上到下地脫在地上。當時全身發熱，而且慢慢地下走，身上輕鬆極了，真有個醫到病除的感受。
後來，孟女士還給我們送來《宣化上人事蹟》、《修行者的消息》、《靜坐入門》等書，和用手抄寫的〈大悲咒〉給我們看。我們自己也去過幾次天津大悲禪院，請了〈大悲咒〉、〈楞嚴咒〉、《宣化上人開示錄選集》，和宣化上人講述的《大佛頂首楞嚴經淺釋》、《地藏菩薩本願經淺釋》。
從那時起，我們堅持天天打坐、懺悔、呼佛號、念〈大悲咒〉、學習經書。打坐初期，腳麻、腿痛，每次只能打坐十幾分鐘；後來，慢慢適應一點了，時間逐漸長了，十幾分鐘到二十幾分鐘，半小時，四十分鐘，五十分鐘，一小時，在這中間出現過發睏、打盹，但也很快的過去了。打坐到三、四個月時，身體出現顫動。又過了一段時間，打坐時出現全身發熱，出汗特多，每次打坐就像洗過澡似的；這種現像持續兩三個月。
在這中間的一天，也就是楊先生去美國的兩三天後，晚上我太太和我講，楊先生到美國準和宣化上人老法師匯報你的情況。結果在第二天早上打坐時，宣化上人大師就出現在我的面前，讓我好好學佛。這是我在打坐時，第一次出現的圖像，這次圖像的出現對我鼓舞很大，使我堅定了一定要學佛的信念。
後來在打坐時，被我殺害的那些生命出現在我的眼前，有蛇、刺蝟、甲魚、青蛙、壁虎、鱔魚，牠們都趴在桌子上不想走。我就向牠們認錯、道歉、磕頭、為牠們呼佛號，看到牠們都滿意的走了，我也很高興。
又有一次，我在打坐時，出現了廟和人物，這個人物是一位手拿拂塵的和尚，他帶我往廟裡走，但幾次都沒有走到頭。還有一次在打坐時，我在一位和尚的帶領下，見到了彌勒佛，彌勒佛帶我進到一座大廟裡，見到觀世音菩薩，我馬上跪在地上磕頭，彌勒佛坐在觀世音菩薩的一邊，隨後他用手提著我的肩膀，讓我坐在他的腿上，我說我是個大人還坐在您的腿上。他說：「在我面前，你再大也是個孩子。」於是我又回到我童年小孩的樣子。還有一次我在打坐時，隨彌勒佛到一個很遠的地方，那裡有山、有廟，場面很大。廟裡有很多的佛，我跪在地上磕頭，忽然眼前發亮，抬頭一看，有一個很亮的火球。後來我在學習《宣化上人事蹟》一書時，才知道這是佛光普照。當我看到楊先生從美國帶回萬佛聖城的照片，我心裡有說不出的高興，真沒想到那天我看到的那個有山、有廟，場面很大的地方就是萬佛聖城。
幾天後，我在打坐時，看到我身上趴著很多蟑螂，這時我邊呼佛號，邊用手往下扒拉，有的走了，有的又回來了，正在我沒辦法時，彌勒佛又出現在我的面前，他用手把我身上的蟑螂一個個都扒了下去。從那以後，我身上起的一片片紅疙瘩就消失了，皮膚也就不癢了。還有一次，我在打坐時，彌勒佛還用他的手輕輕地撫摸我的肝臟，把肝臟上的髒物拂掉，並說：「慢慢地會好的！」而後，彌勒佛又檢查我的胰島功能，排出的胰島素很少，半天一滴半天一滴地往外流，彌勒佛說：「排胰島素的管子不暢通，流出的胰島素不夠用。」於是彌勒佛用一根小細棍疏通了一下，又用手撫摸了兩次，胰島素像粗針頭似的噴出來的很多，並說這就夠用了。後來，又帶我到一個水池子裡洗了澡，沖去我身上的髒物和病毒，又給我換了衣服。從那時起，我的身體一天比一天好，和健康人站到一塊，看不出我得過大病。
又過了一段時間，我到醫院檢查，醫生們感到很吃驚，這是因為按我的病情應該是越來越壞，最好也就是只能維持病情不往壞處發展，可是我的情況就不同了，很多檢查指標已達到正常人的水平，例如：白蛋白這項指標，原來靠輸白蛋白只能維持到三十五、三十六，最高到三十八，現在在不輸白蛋白的情況下，已達到四十、四十一的水平。有幾項指標，雖還未達到正常指標準，但也往好處發展。有個病號問我：「你用什麼辦法治療的？」我說：「我走的是一條新生命之路！」
通過近十個月的打坐、懺悔、學習經書，對佛教的識認，更深入一步；從我初步悟出的一點浮淺的道理，感到佛教是利國利民、淨化社會的。如果全世界的人，都能按著佛教的要求去做，世界就不會有戰爭、搶劫、偷盜、詐騙等，世界就會太平，我們就能過上幸福美滿的生活。還有一點感受，就是佛教講的一些問題，不是幻想，更不是迷信，而是很深的科學。如果你能踏踏實實地按著佛教的要求去做，就能驅散你身上的病魔，達到意想不到的效果。所以，為什麼有些人身患絕症、重症，又能頑強地活下來，而且越活越好，也就是這個道理。從我自身康復變化的情況，也驗證了這個道理。
寫於一九九四年十月二十八日
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y name is Wan Xinsheng, and I am fifty-eight years old. I have always worked in a hospital.
In July 1989, I was diagnosed as having diabetes. In June 1990, I was diagnosed as having liver disease. In September 1991, the liver disease grew worse. A medical check-up revealed that I had liver cirrhosis and abdominal dropsy at an early stage. In June 1993, the liver disease and diabetes became serious, abdominal dropsy occurred for the second time, and I was constantly running a fever. My temperature sometimes reached as high as 40.3 degrees Celsius [approx. 104.5 F] and never dropped below 37 [approx. 98.6 F] or 38 [approx. 100.4 F]. This condition lasted for over a month. Although my condition improved slightly after over a year of hospitalization, the indices could be maintained only with medication. At that time, many friends were very concerned about my health. My wife and children were also pretty worried. They found the most famous doctors in the country for me. I took several hundred prescriptions of Chinese herb medicine and had hundreds of intravenous transfusions and close to one hundred shots of high protein. I spent over sixty thousand RMB (equivalent to over US$7,000) but did not see much improvement and only managed to get the situation under control.
In early 1993, a Mr. Wang gave me a book about Qi Gong. I practiced off and on for a period of time according to the book but did not persist. The book talks about the mind, thoughts, and images such as lotus seats, temples, and Buddhas; and also about matters like sitting, lying down, standing, and reciting the Buddha’s name. Later, a Ms. Bai introduced a Mr. Chen from Manchuria to us. They took us to the Great Compassion Chan Monastery in Tianjin, where we bowed to the Buddhas, acquired some Buddhist Sutras and statues of Earth Store Bodhisattva and Guan Yin Bodhisattva, and had an initiation ceremony performed on the statues. After returning home, since we wanted to understand the principles, we began reading the Sutras, looking up unfamiliar terms in the dictionary. It was quite difficult and we did not know where to start. Even so, we have never quit reading the Sutras.
On January 1, 1994, through Ms. Meng and Ms. Qu and their husbands, we met Mr. Yang and his daughter, Miss Yang. Miss Yang first summed up my personality in a few sentences. I was thoroughly impressed, because every one of her words was accurate. There was not a single redundant word. Then she talked about my health. She said that I had liver disease and diabetes, that my kidneys were not very good, and that there were two small tumors on my liver. She explained that all these illnesses were effects. What were the causes? She said that in the past I had killed living beings and eaten green turtles, eels, crabs, prawns, pigeons, and snakes. She also said that I had once shot a small bird’s wing with a gun held in my left hand, and that the bird had later died. I was totally dumbstruck. How could she know everything about my illnesses, the beings I had killed, and even about the bird I had shot with my left hand? It was amazing.
Just when I was half-believing and half-dubious, Mr. Yang explained how they had practiced according to the Dharma talks of the Venerable Master Hsuan Hua. He said, “Master Hsuan Hua taught us to observe the five precepts and ten good deeds, to be a good person and do wholesome things, to repent and recognize our own faults from deep within our hearts every day, to firmly resolve never to transgress the five precepts, and to change and reform ourselves.” His words inspired me greatly. I felt that the principles Master Hsuan Hua talked about were very true, profound, and practical. I thought: “If we want to be a good person, we should simply follow the Master’s teaching!” Mr. Yang saw that I was quite sincere, so he taught me how to recite the Buddha’s name and how to repent, and also helped me to send those living beings I had killed away from my body to rebirth. My whole body suddenly felt very relaxed. It seemed that my illnesses were cured. Mr. Yang then gently patted my body all over. It felt as if a heavy, thick, and ragged cotton-padded coat that I had worn for many years were being stripped from my body. My body gradually warmed up and the heat slowly moved downward. I felt light and relaxed. It was truly the feeling of “the doctor arrives and all illnesses are cured.”
Afterward, Ms. Meng brought over some books, such as Records of the Life of Venerable Master Hsuan Hua, News from True Cultivators, and Introduction to Meditation, as well as a handwritten Great Compassion Mantra. We also went to the Great Compassion Chan Monastery a few times by ourselves to acquire copies of the Great Compassion Mantra, the Shurangama Mantra, the Venerable Master Hsuan Hua’s Talks on Dharma, and the Shurangama Sutra and the Sutra on the Past Vows of Earth Store Bodhisattva with the Master’s explanation.
Since then, we have persisted in meditating, repenting, reciting the Buddha’s name and the Great Compassion Mantra, and studying the Sutras on a daily basis. In the beginning, my legs would hurt and grow numb. I could sit for only some ten minutes. Later on, I slowly became used to it and my sitting time increased from some ten minutes to twenty, thirty, forty, fifty minutes, and then to an hour. During this period, I experienced occasional drowsiness but it would soon pass. After three or four months, my body began to tremble during meditation. Some time after that, when I meditated my body would feel warm, and I would perspire so profusely that it was like taking a bath. This situation continued for two to three months. During this period, one evening two to three days after Mr. Yang had gone to the United States, my wife told me that when Mr. Yang met the Venerable Master, he would certainly report my situation to him. What happened? When I meditated the next morning, the Master appeared in front of me and bid me to study Buddhism well. That was the first time I had a vision during meditation. That vision encouraged me greatly and strengthened my faith and will to study Buddhism.
Later, those beings that I had killed appeared in front of me during my meditation. There were snakes, porcupines, green turtles, frogs, lizards, and eels. They all crouched on the table and refused to leave. I confessed my faults, apologized, and bowed to them, and also recited the Buddha’s name for them. Then I saw them leave in satisfaction, and I was also happy.
Once a vision of a temple and a person appeared to me during meditation. The person was a monk holding a whisk in his hand. He led me toward the temple several times, but we never managed to go inside. On another occasion, while in meditation I was led by a monk to see Maitreya Bodhisattva. Maitreya Bodhisattva brought me to a great monastery where I saw Guanshiyin Bodhisattva. I immediately knelt on the ground and bowed to Guanshiyin Bodhisattva. Maitreya Bodhisattva went to sit beside Guanshiyin Bodhisattva. Then he grabbed me by the shoulders, lifted me up, and set me on his lap. I said, “I am a grown man; how can I sit on your lap?” He said, “In my eyes you are still a child, no matter how old you are.” All of a sudden I became a child again. Another time, when I was in meditation, I followed Maitreya Bodhisattva to a faraway place where there were mountains and temples. The place was huge. Inside the temple, there were many Buddhas. When I was bowing, it suddenly brightened up. I looked up and saw a glowing ball of fire. Later, when I read the Master’s biography, I learned that the fireball was the universally shining Buddha-light. When I saw a photograph of the City of Ten Thousand Buddhas that Mr. Yang brought back with him, I was extremely happy. Who would have known that the huge place with mountains and temples was the City of Ten Thousand Buddhas?
A few days later, in my meditation, I saw many cockroaches on my body. I recited the Buddha’s name while picking them off my body. Some of the cockroaches left and some came back. Just when I was feeling helpless, Maitreya Bodhisattva showed up. He plucked the cockroaches off my body with his hand. After that, the rash on my body subsided, and my skin no longer itched. Another time, during meditation, Maitreya Bodhisattva very gently stroked my liver with his hand and dusted the filth off my liver. He said, “It will gradually get better.” Later he also checked my pancreas and found that it generated very little insulin: only one drop in a long period of time. He said, “The tube which directs insulin is blocked, so there is not enough insulin.” Then he used a tiny pin to clear out the blockage and also stroked the pancreas gently a couple of times with his hand. Insulin then shot out in the thickness of a large needle. He said that would be enough. Later, he also took me to a pond for a bath, washing the filth and sickness from my body. He also gave me a change of clothes. From that time on, my body started getting better every day. When I stood next to a healthy person, one could not tell that I had been seriously ill.
Some time later, I went to the hospital for a checkup. The doctors were very surprised because I should have gotten worse or at best my condition should have stabilized. But my situation was totally different. Many indices indicated that my health had recovered to the level of a normal person. For example: before, even with transfusions of high protein, my protein index could only be maintained at 35 or 36, but never exceeded 38. Now it has reached 40 or 41 without any protein transfusion. Some other indices have not reached the normal level but all have shown signs of improvement. Some patients asked me what method I used to cure my illness. I said, “I am walking on the path of a new life.”
After about ten months of meditating, repenting, and studying the Sutras, my understanding of Buddhism has deepened. Based on the shallow principles that I have realized, I feel that Buddhism can benefit a nation and its people, as well as purify the society. If people in this world can practice the teachings of Buddhism, this world will be free of wars, robberies, theft, and frauds, and so on. The world will be in peace, and we will be able to lead happy lives. My other thought is that the issues that Buddhism discusses are neither imagination nor superstition, but profound science. If you can honestly do what Buddhism tells us to do, you will be able to expel the demon of sickness from your body and attain unexpected results. That is why some people who suffered from terminal illness are able to survive and become more healthy every day. My personal experience certifies to this principle.
Written on October 28, 1994
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