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苦雨凄風彷彿為人助哀，七一高齡的孔老夫子抬起了老淚縱橫的臉，望著窗外一角陰霾的天。「唉！這是老天要亡我啊！這是老天要亡我啊！」隨侍的學生雖然個個不是痛哭就是飲泣，但聽到這麼重的話，出自一向樂天知命的老師之口，都忍不住勸著：「老師太過悲傷了！」
孔子不以為然地攤開雙手：「我過於悲傷嗎？我若不為這個人悲傷，還為誰呢？」學生們面面相覷，啞口無言。的確，在所有同學中，論道德、才學和抱負，又有哪一個比得上顏回的呢！誰都知道，老師憫念眾生的苦，周遊列國，希望有機會實施他的抱負，以改善人民生活，促進社會和樂，保障國家安寧，從而達成世界大同。雖然蹉跎多年，以至垂垂老矣終不見用；但是老師總也不絕望，因為他還有個有為有守的顏回做接棒人。如今顏回英年早逝，遂失英才，毋怪乎一向堅強的老師悲慟得猶如世界末日之將臨了！一時師生都沉湎於悲哀的回憶裡。
年輕厚實的曾參，想起顏回對自己有形無形的提攜和教化。明明他最懂得處理事情，也知道最多的道理，卻能在各種微細小事上卑躬折節、不憚其煩地請教別人。他自奉儉樸、安貧如飴，待人謙沖、犯而不校。他就像和風慶雲，令每一個和他相處的人都能感受到那一份自然的和氣。
鋒芒畢露的子貢想起有一次他和子路、顏回兩位老同學陪侍老師出遊，老師教大家說說各自的抱負。這已不是第一次老師考核大家了！冒失的子路總是最先說，還說得洋洋得意，也最讓老師失笑；含蓄的顏回都是最後說，又說得溫溫潤潤，也最得老師讚許。他自己呢？說時自覺比子路高明一籌，而不禁喜形於色；等聽完顏回的話，卻又不禁自嘆弗如。那一次也不例！
子路描繪著戰場上鐘鼓滾滾如雷響，旌旗翩翩似龍飛的壯烈場面，表示自己能將兵百萬、攘地千里；老師稱讚他是個神采飛揚的勇士。子貢心想：你再驍勇，我這三寸不爛之舌卻可說得兩國罷兵息戰，你無用武之地！便陳說自己願縞衣白冠，遊說白刃之間的理想，老師果然讚嘆自己是個風骨不凡的辯士。
顏回聽了卻退開一旁，子貢心想：這一回我可勝過你了！誰知老師硬是要顏回講，顏回只好說：「文武兩事，他們都已盡了，我的理想卻又不同。要是我能得到賢王聖主而來輔佐他們，我要用禮樂道德去教化百姓，使人民不用修築城牆溝池防禦工事；兵器可以拿來改做農具，牛馬能夠放任原野吃草。家家戶戶沒有因戰爭而生離死別，國與國間也沒有因戰爭而恐懼不安。這樣，子路既無用武之地，子貢也無施辯之機了！」
老師頓時嚴肅地讚嘆：「多麼美好的道德啊！真是學而有得的人啊！」識時務的子貢當下就閉緊嘴巴，偏子路還不自知地問老師選中那一個？老師就又說：「能不損失財物、不残害百姓，又不須繁文重刑的，那就是顏家這個孩子啊！」當然，這次的考試，顏回又得了第一名啦！子貢想不服氣都不行。
孔子想起過去在教學時，沉默寡言的顏回總是亦步亦趨，勤學不輟；不但歡喜信受，而且奉行不道，可謂悅之深而力之盡。他的安貧樂道，不是由知解而得，而是從真實的道德實踐中來，若非已懂得學問三昧，哪裡能夠如此？
如今弟子中又哪一個能及得上他的好學呢？自己的理想，又靠哪一個來延續呢？啊！這是老天要亡我啊！孔夫子不禁又悲淚不止了！窗外，依然是淒風苦雨，仿彿為人助哀。
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The bitterly cold wind and rain seemed to echo people's mourning. At the advanced age of seventy-one, Confucius raised his tear-streaked face and looked out the window at the gloomy, misty sky. He sighed, "Alas! Heaven is ruining me! Heaven is ruining me!" The students who were attending upon him were either crying bitterly or weeping softly. Hearing their teacher, who had always been optimistic and knowledgeable about destiny, speak so sadly, they were unable to refrain from exhorting him, "Sir, do not be so mournful!"
Spreading his hands, Confucius said in disagreement, "Am I too mournful? For whom should I lament, if not for this person?" They looked at one another and became speechless. Exactly! Who among them could match Yan Hui's morality, knowledge, and aspirations? Everyone knew that out of pity for suffering living beings, their teacher had traveled among the states wishing to carry out his aspirations: to improve people's lives, to promote the harmony and happiness of the society, and to ensure the security and peace of the countries so as to attain a commonwealth in the world. Although many years had passed, the situation had not changed, yet in his declining years, their teacher had never lost his hope. That was because he still had a successor, Yan Hui, who was promising and capable of great achievements. Now Yan Hui had passed away in the prime of life. No wonder the loss of this prominent student was causing his teacher so much grief—grief as strong and sustained as if the world were about to end. For a moment, teacher and students all sank into sorrowful memories.
Zeng Sen, who was young and virtuous, recalled how Yan Hui had helped and taught him in apparent as well as imperceptible ways. Obviously he was the most capable in handling things and understood the most principles, yet he was so humble and submissive that he asked for other's advice about small matters and detailed points. He disciplined himself to live in a thrifty and simple way, took poverty as sweetness, was modest and humble towards others, and never criticized those who mistreated him. He was like a gentle breeze and blessed cloud that spontaneously enveloped those around him with pleasant energy.
Zi Gong, whose intelligence was fully evident, remembered when Zi Lu, Yan Hui, and himself were once accompanying their Teacher on an outing. Their Teacher asked them to talk about their wishes. This was not the first test their Teacher had given in order to educate them! The impetuous Zi Lu was always the first one to proudly blurt out his answers, and their Teacher could never hide his smile. The reserved Yan Hui was always the last one to speak, answering in a gentle and fresh way that won their Teacher's praises most. As for himself, he always felt that he was more intelligent than Zi Lu, and so he gave his answers wearing a happy expression. However, after hearing Yan Hui's answer, he could never help feeling inferior. This time was no exception!
Now describing the thundering sounds of the bells and drums and the magnificent flags and banners which resembled flying dragons in the battlefield, Zi Lu pointed out that he wished to be capable of leading a million soldiers and governing thousands of miles of land. The Teacher praised him as a brave individual, beaming and glowing. Zi Gong thought: No matter how courageous you might wish to be, I would wish that the wonderful speech from my tongue could stop a war between two countries. That would leave you useless! He expressed how he wished to be dressed in white and wearing a white hat as he lobbied for the ideal of no killing. Sure enough, the teacher praised him as a debater of extraordinary manner and integrity.
Yan Hui moved aside when he heard this. Zi Gong thought: “This time I've finally defeated you!" Who would have guessed that their Teacher would force Yan Hui to talk about his wish. Yan Hui had no alternative and so he said, "Their wishes completely cover both civil and military matters, but my ideal is of another sort. If I should be able to assist a worthy ruler or a sage lord, I would wish to apply propriety, music, and morality to teach people so that no defensive facilities such as city walls or moats would be necessary. Weapons could be used as farming tools instead. Cows and horses would be able to graze freely in the pastures. Because there would be no war, families would be free of the separations that deaths bring. Countries would be without terror and insecurity. In this way, Zi Lu would be no longer be useful in the military; nor would Zi Gong have any opportunity for debating!"
Immediately a solemn praise came from their Teacher, "What a wonderfully virtuous wish! You are one who truly gains from what he has learned!" Knowing how to ride the tide, Zi Gong immediately shut his mouth tightly. Still not clear which one was favored, Zi Lu inquired of their teacher. "The one who can prevent the loss of money and property, avoid injuring the people, and have no need for numerous laws and heavy punishments is this child of the Yan family!" said their Teacher. Certainly, once again Yan Hui had won first place in the test! Zi Gong had no choice but to submit!
Confucius recalled how during his teachings Yan Hui was always so quiet, and yet he followed the teachings and studied vigorously. He never missed school. Not only did he believe in and cherish the instructions joyously, he also put them into practice and never made any transgressions. As it is said, “Rejoicing in something deeply, one applies one's strength to the fullest extent." Yan Hui was happy to lead a simple and virtuous life that did not derive from knowledge, but rather came from the actual practice of virtue. If he had not understood the samadhi of learning, how could he have been like that?
Thus it was that Confucius mourned: now among his students who else could compare to Yan Hui in diligence? Who could continue to transmit and hand down his ideals? "Ah! Heaven is ruining me!" Confucius could not stop his sorrowful weeping. Outside the window, the bitterly cold wind and rain continued and seemed to echo people's mourning. |
