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前期提示：恆朝／一九七七年五月十日
老爺車在我們沒到達郊外可紮營的地方，擔任著以下各種角色：煙灰缸和旁邊的櫃子是我們的木魚、香爐兼供桌。車後座，是我們的禪堂、佛堂兼臥室、圖書館。今夜，我們在那位優婆塞房子後方的車庫裡露營。我們一路在車上做晚課，誦〈八十八佛懺悔文〉，煙灰缸裡燃著香，我開車，恆實在我後面敲著保溫杯，配合晚課進行。雖然這裡沒人管，但我們還是遵照金山寺的修行時間表作息。
以下是當別人問我們在幹什麼時，我的一點小意見：
（一）個人因素：去除貪、瞋、痴。
（二）往大一點說：替大家消苦消災。
（三）再往大一點說：阻止殺人無數武器的發明。
（四）請求佛祖大發慈悲。
新發現：做一個誠心誠意的和尚，對我來說很重要，也並不難。我不再像平日那樣毛毛躁躁，現在的我就像風平浪靜的海灘（潮來潮去）。不再那麼執著，心裡好過的多。疑惑漸少，連在清晨四點都不例外。沒什麼恐懼，更安詳，更有耐心，情緒波動很小。三步一拜是我現階段的修行法門、妙法。
年輕人對佛法和我們的旅程比較能接受。昨天和幾個男孩對不結婚、父母親、功夫、戒律、日中一食等交換了些很好的意見。他們用開玩笑的方式刺探我們的動物性，如果我們不為所動，他們就更加敬佩；但如果我們被轉動了，那在他們眼中立刻就變成扮成神祇的小丑。
人們總在懷疑恆實身體虛弱，擔心他不可能拜到三藩市的。從圍觀者的臉上，看出有一種很難言喻的輕微感動。似乎觸動了他們內心深處的一些秘密的角落。
恒實／一九七七年五月十一日
敬愛的師父：
願可敬的上人能慈悲的照顧眾生！
三步一拜很像參禪，隨時要努力的保持一心不亂，我們進步雖慢，但仍持續。恆朝是一個好護法。他下面會報告怎樣將我們從一次困境中解救出來。 Leonora江，方果悟，愛麗絲王和胡氏夫婦非常照顧、保護我們。我很少說話，這是一個實踐我只在為三寶服務時才說話的心願的機會。我永遠感激有機會修道。
弟子果真頂禮
恒朝／一九七七年五月十一日
拜經一座隧道，一邊是公路，一邊是杭亭頓小學。恆實平靜祥和的拜著。一邊清淨祥和，正如恆實的感受。另一邊忙碌不諧。不過，從這一邊到那一邊，不花多少時間。車輪轉動著，我們行駛在中道上。不一會兒，我們便被好奇、頑皮的學童包圍了。在老師及警察的監視下，我們安靜的繼續的拜下去。謝謝你，孩子們！後會有期。
如何一個妄想導致下雨的故事
三位護法居士告訴我們林肯高地交通擁擠又危險，「要特別小心！」他們說。由於我們的我相未除，所以我們覺得恐懼。
錯誤的第一步：恐懼就是妄想造成了破洞。
錯誤的第二步：想要用高壓的手段去克服恐懼，在烈日下連續拜了兩小時。以為把這問題趕走了。
錯誤的第三步：恆朝對自己生氣，而且緊緊的抱住放不下。
→待續
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From the last issue: HENG CHAU/ May 10,1977
Our car, which we must use until we get out of the city, serves us in this way: the ashtray and glove compartment are our wooden fish, incense burner, and altar. The back end of the van is our Chan hall, Buddha hall, sleeping room, and library. We camp in the garage behind one Upasika's house. We do evening recitation on the way there—the Eighty-eight Buddhas Repentance—me at the wheel, incense going in the ashtray, and Heng Sure in back hitting a thermo cup to keep the ceremony going. We are really into maintaining a pure and scheduled Bodhimanda. It's the nucleus and source of our going and coming—it's just like at Gold Mountain, but it's up to us to maintain it here.
This is the rap I give people who ask what we are doing:
(1) Personal—getting rid of greed, hatred, and stupidity;
(2) Larger perspective—getting rid of some bad vibes. Take on suffering to end suffering and disasters of all. (3) Larger scope—stop the creation of weapons that kill millions. (4) Bowing to the Buddhas to be compassionate.
New stuff: I am finding it easy and important to be a monk. To be reverent and mindful every minute. Not the "wham, bang, bust 'em" vigor like I am used to, but rather like the quiet, calm but ceaseless constancy of a quiet ocean beach (waves keep coming). It is easier with less attachments now. I feel less and less doubtful, even at 4 A.M. Hardly any fear and more stillness, patience, and evenness of energy. Bowing is my method now, and it's wonderful!
Young people are open to our trip and to Buddhism. Had a good exchange with some boys yesterday about celibacy, parents, kung fu, precepts, one meal a day, etc. They poke and tease the male in you; if you don't move then they respect and draw near. If you move, it's all over and they have a circus. “Hare Krishna!"
People think Heng Sure is physically ill, worry he won't be able to find San Francisco, and wonder, always wonder... People are touched somewhere inside beyond it all in a mysterious and subtle way. I see it in their faces, how they gather to watch, the ways they move and leave as we pass. It is deep.
HENG SURE
/ May 11, 1977
Dear Shih Fu (Master),
Homage to the Venerable Master,
May he lend his compassion to all beings!
This work is very much like a Chan session. Constant mindfulness is hard work and we are making slow and steady progress. Three steps, one bow. Heng Chau is a good protector. He has already saved us from one nasty situation which he will tell about below. Leonora Chiang, Phuong Kuo Wu, Alice Wong, and the Woos have protected us and show us great care. I am not talking very much at all. This is a wonderful chance to practice my vow to speak only words in service to the Triple Jewel. I am forever grateful for the opportunity to cultivate the Way.
Disciple Guo Zhen bows in respect
HENG CHAU
/ May 11, 1977
Bowed through a tunnel consisting of commuter traffic on one side and Huntington Elementary School on the other. One was pure and a "bathing of good energy" as Heng Sure felt it. The other was busy and divisive. It doesn't take long for one side to move to the other. The wheel turns and we are steering down the middle. Too many kids to talk with; the teachers and police are watching so we decide to be quiet and bow. Thanks, kids. See you again.
How One False Thought Brought the Rain
Three lay Dharma protectors tell us how heavy and dangerous Lincoln Heights will be. "Be very careful." Having the appearance of a self, we feel fear.
First mistake: Fear = false thought—crack, hole.
Second mistake: To overcome fear and danger you can rush through, push it—about two hours straight of bowing in the hot sun. "There, we got rid of that stretch!"
Third mistake: Heng Chau feels angry about this, holds on to it. →To be continued
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