今天是有所感觸，願意把我心裡頭的話，對你們各位講一講。你們願意聽，就聽一聽；不願意聽呢，可以退席的。什麼話呢？我到美國已經三十多年了，中間經過的年、月、日、時，也不算短了，不論是美國人、中國人，都希望我改變我的國籍，入美國的國籍，做為美國的公民。說是美國的護照，走遍天下都是最方便的；美國的公民，走遍全世界，都是受人恭敬的。中國護照那個性質就不同了。三十多年來，官方、民方都有很多人，向我來提議這個問題。
這麼樣子，我一九六二年到達美國，在美國最初住到一個地下室裡邊。這個地下室有門沒窗戶，白天是黑的，晚間當然更是黑的啦！就等於在墳墓裡頭住一樣的。所以我到了美國之後，我自己嘲笑自己，給自己起個名字，就叫「墓中僧」，在墳墓裡頭的一個和尚。為什麼叫這麼個名字呢？我因為自己不願和人爭名，不願意爭利，不願意和人爭勝負，我就等於在墳墓裡頭一樣。在東北的時候，我出家之後曾經也有一個名字，叫什麼呢？叫「活死人，為什麼叫活死人呢？因為我人雖然活著，我不和人爭名奪利，不和人爭，我也不貪。我這一生啊！無論做任何的事情，我不求代價的，不拿錢的，所以叫「活死人」。這個人雖然活著，也就等於死了一樣，到了美國又「墓中僧」。大學裡請我去講演，我也是用「墓」中僧」的名義去講。
那麼這樣子經過一段時間，等到一九六八年或一九六六年，就是現在隨團來的這位易教授、易博士、易居士，我也不知叫他什麼名字好。遇到他，以後他到臺灣來學習中文，我就叫他到臺灣訪善知識，來皈依三寶，因為他是一個猶太人。他到臺灣，我介紹他幾個法師，他各處都去了，都覺得沒有緣；不是人沒有緣，是錢沒有緣。他說臺灣這兒佛教都是要錢的，我皈依誰，就要紅包。他也沒有多少錢，就不皈依了，回去就要求皈依我，我說：「你可以慢慢等一等。」
那麼以後他就從西雅圖，帶來大約三十多個人有讀博士的，有讀學士的，有讀master（碩士）的。這大約有三十多個人吧！，還有一些個不讀書的人，也都一起來，因為他在美國人緣還不錯，介紹他們都來聽講《楞嚴經》。在講《楞嚴經》的期間是暑假班，講了九十六天。以後就有些人從西雅圖轉學轉到三藩市來，這個易博士是其中之一。
那麼轉到三藩市，由那時起，我天天都在講經說法。我的願力是有這一口氣存在，我就要講經說法；等這口氣沒有了，就不講了。所以我現在雖然有病，我還是盡我的最大努力，給大家說法。我知道大家不一定願意聽我所說的法，可是我也不能因為多數人不願意聽，我就不講了。我還是就有一個人，願意聽我說法，我也講；甚至於沒有人聽，我還是自己對鬼來講，對神來講，對一切有靈性的來講，這是我一個大概、簡單的意思。
所以我看見報紙說：「這個宣化是一個流浪漢。」不錯，我現在是流浪漢。雖然中華民國也不一定要我這個國民，大陸也不一定要我這個國民，因為國家多我一個不多，少我一個不少。可是我是中國人哪！我就要念舊，我這個人就是不忘舊，所以我寫了一首詩不是詩，偈不是偈，就叫它很簡單的幾句話。我現在從美國回到臺灣，我不是講經說法的，我不是弘法的，我是訪問來的，我是向所有的耆德高僧來學習的。我也不是高僧，也不是耆德，報紙上這麼稱呼，這是我愧不敢當的名詞。我以前在年輕的時候，想要創革命，可是沒有能成功，我以後就不問政治的興衰，啦！治亂啦！不問了！我已經是活死人，又是一個墓中的和尚，跟一般的和尚，我是比不了的。一般的和尚都有道有德，在那兒弘揚佛法，我是弘揚佛法不夠資格的人，所以我沒有資格來弘揚佛法，我是跟著大家來學習。那麼現在最後，我要把我這幾句淺白淡語，對大家說一說。我說：
中華混亂數十年，
傷時感事淚成泉；
此生愧具回天手，
往昔難弹落日弦。
世途崎嶇人鬼詐，
宦海浮沈彼此煎；
出家未忘忠貞志，
不改國籍溯本源。
我這八句俚語、八句淺白淡語，是說明了我這個思想，說明了我這個行為，說明我這個志願。我可以略略解釋一下，說：
「中華混亂数十年」：這是說的我們中國人在這個水深火熱裡頭度生活，還不自覺，還不存報國的心。我怎麼說臺灣有這個累卵之勢，為什麼呢？都是各自為政，不團結。商人發財發得很多，應該盡忠報國，可是對國家都不相信。怎麼證明他不相信呢？因為他投資到外國去，把自己國內的力量都分撥到外國去，這商人不夠忠心，你就富稱敵國，你沒有報國的思想，這還是窮人啊！這是不懂道理的人，不愛護國家，只是自私自利，這是一點。
老百姓雖然說有的信佛了，但是不信的還是很多，這對於國家是一個損失。老百姓若真正都信佛、拜佛、懂得因果了，他就不會去殺人放火呀！偷盗啊！強搶啊！販毒啊！投機取巧啊！玩大家樂呀！賭股票啊！不會有這樣的行為，這是國家一個不祥的預兆。還有學生，根本把教育都忘了，只在皮毛上轉轉，把孔教置諸腦後，沒有人提倡孝悌忠信、禮義廉恥、忠心愛國這種的道理，都是在求名求利上用功夫這一點也是國家的不祥之兆。
那麼人都不知道愛惜自己的生命財產，隨便揮霍凌亂，這對國家也是大不祥的一個地方。「民為邦本，本固邦寧」，這對國有種種的不祥、種種的不利，這是我所以說臺灣有這個累卵之勢，很危險。這不是大言聳聽，令人故意來害怕，不是這樣的。現在發財的人，哪一個能把財產都捐獻給國家？這個財產小的不算；財產大的，我臺灣，沒有聽說哪一個為國捐獻所有的財產，沒有，都是為自己自私自利留著給兒孫後代。其實你這個兒子若比你強，「養子強如父」，你「留財做什麼？」他比你有志氣、有本領，你能發財，他比你更發得大，你給他留那麼多幹什麼？所以說：
兒孫自有兒孫福，
莫為兒孫做馬牛。
你錢再多，死了帶不進棺材去。我這個話誰都聽過，可是人人都不注意這一點，這個邏輯學人人都忘了。都是在那兒爭啊、貪啊、求啊、自私、自利、打妄語。我說的是說大多數，不是說少數。你不要以為有人也願意捐所有財產給國家，這都是少數的，不多。所以說中華混亂數十年。
「傷時感世淚成泉」：我傷嘆這個時候，又感這個世間的事，所以淚成泉。很多聰明人不做聰明事，做糊塗事；很多糊塗人想做聰明事，他不知道怎麼樣做，這是一種不圓滿的地方。
「此身愧具回天手」：說我這一身哪、盡這一個身體。愧具回天手，我沒有回天的手段。我若有回天的手段，我應該把中華民國、中華人民共和國都想法子，令他們都知道怎麼樣救國、治國，怎麼樣治理天下，怎麼樣才能有一個堂堂大國的風度。
「往昔難彈落日弦」：我以前為什麼要創革命呢？我因為看見日本人侵略中國，是太不公平，所以我想要創革命打日本人，可是我始終也沒有走上那條路，因為這個，我把這個世事就不過問了。
「世途崎嶇人鬼詐」：那麼我又看見世途崎嶇，世間這個道路崎嶇難行、彎彎曲曲、很危險的人鬼詐，中國人對於「鬼佬」是互相欺詐，「鬼佬也學會了，對中國人也用這種手段，以牙還牙，你欺騙我，我也欺騙你，全世界成一個互相欺騙世界。
「宦海浮沉彼此煎」：這個做官的都是在那兒排除異己。你是我這個黨，是我這個派，我就用我這個自私自利的心，來提拔你。你若和我不是一黨一派，我就排斥你，令你抑鬱不得志。所以宦海浮沉彼此煎，彼此互相熬煎。
「出家未忘忠貞志」：我雖然出家了，我沒有忘掉忠心為國的這種思想，我不能改變我的志氣。我的志氣我是中國人，永遠是中國人，我生生世世在在處處都要是中國人。等中國人真正強大了那時候我或者已經不在了，或者還在；不管在不在我希望我這一生，最低限度不改變我的國籍，我不負任何的便宜和方便。所以說「不改國籍溯本源」，我不改變我自己的國籍，我還沒有忘本。
這是我幾句淺白的話，你們各位大約對我稍微會瞭解一點。 →待續
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Today I have some feelings, and I would like to tell you what has been on my mind. If you want to listen, fine. If you don't want to listen, you may leave. What is it I want to say? I have been in the United States for over thirty years, which is not a short time. Both Americans and Chinese people have expressed the hope that I change my nationality and become an American citizen. They say that having an American passport makes it convenient to travel anywhere in the world. Americans are respected all over the world. But it's different with a Chinese passport. In these thirty-some years, both officials and civilians have suggested this to me, but I am still a Chinese person.
I came to the United States in 1962, and in the beginning I lived in a basement. The basement had a door but no windows; it was dark in the daytime and even darker at night. It was just like living in a grave. So after coming to the United States, I made fun of myself and gave myself the name "The Monk in the Grave." Why did I take this name? Because I don't wish to compete with others for fame and profit, nor do I wish to triumph over them. I was just like someone in the grave. In Manchuria, I had another name after I left the home-life, which was “The Living Dead Person." This is because although I was alive, I did not contend with others for fame and profit. I didn't contend with people, nor was I greedy. In all my life, no matter what work I do, I have never asked for pay nor taken any money. That is why I was called “The Living Dead Person." Although I was alive, I was just like a dead person. After coming to the United States, I called myself "The Monk in the Grave." When I was invited to deliver lectures at universities, I used the name “The Monk in the Grave."
After some time had passed, around 1965 or 1966, I met one of the members of this delegation—Professor Epstein, Dr. Epstein, Upasaka Epstein—I don't really know what I should call him. Later on, he came to Taiwan to study Chinese. I told him to look for a Good and Wise Advisor in Taiwan and to take refuge with the Triple Jewel, because he was Jewish. I introduced him to several Dharma Masters in Taiwan, and he visited them, but felt no affinities with them. It wasn't because of the people that he felt no affinities, it was because of the money involved. He said that in Taiwan, all the Buddhist activities require money. No matter what teacher he wanted to take refuge under, he was expected to give a donation (in a red envelope). Since he didn't have that much money, he ended up not taking refuge. He returned to the United States and requested to take refuge under me. I told him, "You ought to take it slowly and wait a bit."
Later on he brought more than thirty people from Seattle, including some Ph.D., Bachelor's, and Master's students. Some people who were not students also came along. He has pretty good affinities with Americans, and he invited them to come listen to the lectures on the Shurangama Sutra. I lectured on the Shurangama Sutra for ninety-six days during the summer vacation. Later, some of those students, including Dr. Epstein, transferred their studies from Seattle to San Francisco.
When they moved to San Francisco, I began lecturing on the Sutras and speaking the Dharma on a daily basis. My vow is that as long as I have even one breath left, I will use it to lecture on the Sutras and speak the Dharma. When I have no more breath left, that's when I will stop speaking. So even though I am sick right now, I am still putting forth my greatest effort to speak the Dharma for all of you. I know that all of you don't necessarily want to listen to the Dharma I speak, but I cannot keep silent even if the majority of the people don't want to listen. As long as there is even one person who wants to listen, I will speak the Dharma. And even if no human being is listening, I will still speak for the benefit of the ghosts, spirits, and all other souls. That's my general wish.
I saw in the newspapers that they are saying, "Hsuan Hua is a vagabond." That's right, I am a vagabond now, because the Republic of China may not care to have me as a citizen, and mainland China doesn't necessarily want me as a citizen either. That's because I am not a significant addition or a significant loss to the country either way. However, I am a Chinese person, and I care about my roots. I am a person who cannot forget the past, so I wrote a few simple words, which cannot be considered poetry. I have come to Taiwan from the United States, but not to lecture the Sutras or propagate the Dharma. I have come to visit and to learn from all the Venerable Sanghans and Greatly Virtuous Ones. I myself am neither a Venerable Sanghan nor a Greatly Virtuous One. The newspapers have given me those names, but I do not deserve them. In my youth, I wanted to start a revolution, but I never succeeded in doing it, and afterwards I paid no more attention to the political situation. I was already a living corpse and a monk in the grave, so I couldn't match up to ordinary monks. Ordinary monks are virtuous and understand the Way, and they propagate the Buddhadharma. But I am not qualified to propagate the Buddhadharma, so I am just learning from everyone else. Now, to conclude my talk, I would like to speak a bit about the simple lines that I wrote.
China has been in turmoil for decades.
Anguished by the affairs of the times, my tears flow like a river.
I regret that in this life, I haven't been able
to turn the tide of events.
In the past, I failed to play the lute of the setting sun.
The roads of the world twist and turn,
as people and ghosts deceive each other.
The sea of politicians surges and rolls, as they mutually contend.
Though I've left the home-life,
I haven't forgotten my heart's allegiance.
Not changing my nationality,
I trace my roots back to their source.
These eight unpolished, simple lines explain my way of thinking, my conduct, and my resolves. I shall now explain them briefly.
China has been in turmoil for decades. This is saying that the Chinese people, not realizing that they are living in deep waters and hot fires, still do not know to be loyal to the country. I say that Taiwan is sitting on a pile of eggs; do you know why? Because every person is out for himself, and we are not united. The business people who have struck it rich and made a lot of money should loyally do all they can to repay the kindness of the country. But none of them believe in the country. What proof is there? They invest all their money in other countries, thus scattering the wealth of their own country abroad. So the business people are not loyal enough. Even if you're as wealthy as everyone else put together, if you have no sense of patriotism, then you are still a poor person! You are a person who does not understand principle, who does not love his country, and who only knows to be selfish and self-benefiting. That's one point. Although the people are said to believe in Buddhism, there are still many who do not believe, and that is a great loss to the country. If the ordinary citizens truly believed in the Buddha, bowed to the Buddha, and understood cause and effect, they wouldn't go out to murder people, set fires, rob, or deal in drugs. They would not speculate or play the lottery or stock market. They wouldn't engage in such activities. The fact that they do is an inauspicious sign for the country. Moreover, the students have totally forgotten about serious education and are only concerned with superficial things. They have pushed the teachings of Confucius to the back of their mind. No one advocates the values of filiality, fraternity, loyalty, trustworthiness, propriety, righteousness, incorruptibility, a sense of shame, and patriotism to the country. Instead, everyone puts his efforts into the pursuit of fame and profit. That is another unfavorable sign for the country.
People do not cherish their own lives and wealth; they are wasting them recklessly. This is also very unfortunate for the country. It is said, "The people are the foundation of a country. If the foundation is solid, the country will be at peace." But the current trend is unfavorable and unbeneficial for the country in many ways. That's why I have said that Taiwan is sitting on a pile of eggs; it's very dangerous. I'm not exaggerating just to arrest your attention or to make you afraid. That's not my aim. Of all the people who have made great fortunes, who has been able to donate all his wealth and assets to the country? Those who have small assets don't count. I'm talking about those who have great assets. In Taiwan, I haven't heard that anyone has contributed all his assets. Everyone is out for himself, selfish and self benefitting, and leaving his wealth to his children and descendants. Actually, "If the son is as capable as the father, why should the father leave wealth for the son?" If your son has more ambition and skill than you, then he must be able to make even more money than you, so why should you leave so much wealth for him? It is also said:
Your children have their own blessings.
There's no need to be a slave for them.
No matter how much money you have, you can't take it to the grave when you die. Everyone knows this, but no one pays any attention to it. Everyone has forgotten it, and just goes on contending, being greedy, seeking, being selfish, pursuing personal gain, and lying. I'm talking about the vast majority, not just a few people. Don't say that there are those who are willing to give all their wealth to the country. Such people are rare, not many at all.
That's why I say, China has been in turmoil for decades./ Anguished by the affairs of the times, my tears flow like a river. Saddened by the times, I lamented the affairs of the world. Many intelligent people do not do intelligent things. Instead, they do muddled things. Many muddled people want to do intelligent things, but they don't know how. This is a regretful situation.
I regret that in this life, I haven't been able to turn the tide of events. In this life, I have no way to turn back the tide of destiny. If I did, I should want to enable both the Republic of China and the People's Republic of China to know how to govern the country and deal with the world, and how to have the manner of a great country.
In the past, I failed to play the lute of the setting sun. I used to want to start a revolution. I shouldn't have just watched as China was invaded by Japan. That was too unjust, so I wanted to organize a revolt against Japan. But I was never able to carry out my plans, so later I put the world's affairs behind me.
I also saw that the roads of the world twist and turn. In this world, the roads are crooked and hard to travel. It's very dangerous. As people and ghosts deceive each other. The Chinese people would cheat the foreigners any way they could. The foreigners learned the trick from the Chinese and cheated the Chinese in turn, “taking a tooth for a tooth." Everyone cheated each other, and the world became a place of mutual deceit.
The sea of politicians surges and rolls, as they mutually contend. The politicians formed cliques and excluded those who held different views. They promoted those of their own clique, out of selfishness and pursuit of personal gain. Those of other cliques would be left out and frustrated in their attempts to realize their aims. So the sea of politicians surges and rolls, as they mutually contend." The politicians were harassing one another.
Though I've left the home-life, I haven't forgotten my heart's allegiance. Although I've left home, I haven't forgotten my loyalty to the country; I cannot change my convictions. My conviction is that I am a Chinese, and I'll always be a Chinese. In every life, in every place, I am a Chinese. When China truly becomes great and strong, I may or may not be around. But whether I am still living or not, I hope that throughout my life, at least I will not change my nationality. I am not greedy for any conveniences.
Not changing my nationality, I trace my roots back to their source. Not only will I not change my citizenship, I will not forget my roots.
Now you probably have a general understanding of these simple lines.
→To be continued
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