一九九二年五月,在我任性離家出走,又無處
可歸之際,有一股力量引導著我的車子朝北走向
萬佛聖城。當時我真不敢相信,在完全沒有任何
路途資料的情況下,能安達聖城。更不敢相信的
是:當車子駛進了山門,我的整個家庭和整個生
命也跟著走進了佛化的世界。
這一次的逗留,完全是意外性的避難。所以亳
無選擇的參與誦經、拜懺的行列。雖然我完全陌
生,可是卻能全神投入。在第二天的中午,兩位
女法師通知我到女界辦公室,法師們以六大宗旨
作開場白,希望下次再來時是全家人一齊來。
所幸從聖城學會了(大悲咒),知道「受苦是
了苦,享福是消福」,雖然當時沒有人告訴我〈
大悲咒〉是觀世音菩薩的神咒,可是我仍每日誦
持多遍,我覺得我已不再恐懼或過份焦慮。
六月底,國際譯經學院通知打皈依,雖然不知
其意,可是仍準時報到。整整一個上午的拜佛與
皈依儀式,當時也不知所云,可是回家以後,就
在當天晚餐,眼見餐桌上的雞肉一塊塊在流著血
,也在極力掙扎,目睹這一慘狀,以至今日我一
直都不忍心咬下任何一塊肉。
八月初,我的先生前往聖城短住二個星期,他
的改變猶如奇蹟——他當下斷葷,皈依受戒。
之後,我們面對問題的態度和處理事情的方法
,似乎無形中常有一位老師,總是適時介入,教
導我們履行不爭、不貪、不求、不自私、不自利
、不妄語,都必須是「當下那一刻」的行為。漸
漸地,那些曾被視為致命傷的大事,都成了微不
足道的芝麻小事。孩子們是最直接、也是最無形
的受益者;父母親和樂了,他們也更能無憂的快
樂起來了。我們真的是常常一家人一起到聖城了
。謹以「幾度感應間,懷恩情更長」向師父上人
頂禮再頂禮。
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In May 1992, I willfully ran away from home. Just when I could not find a place to go, a strong attraction drew my car to head north for the City of Ten Thousand Buddhas. I could not believe it when, without the benefit of any directions, I was able to arrive safely at the City. What was more unbelievable was that when I drove through the mountain gate of the City, my life and those of my whole family completely entered the Buddhist world.
That time, my visit was entirely an accidental attempt to escape from hardship. Therefore, I had no choice but to attend the Sutra recitation and repentance bowing ceremonies. Although I was a total stranger to these activities, I was able to participate with full concentration. At noon the next day, two women Dharma Masters asked me to go to the women's administration office for a talk. The Dharma Masters introduced the six great principles, and they expressed the hope that my whole family could come next time.
Fortunately, I learned to recite the Great Compassion Mantra at the City, and I understood that "To endure suffering is to end suffering; to enjoy blessings is to diminish blessings." Though no one told me that the Great Compassion Mantra was the spiritual mantra of Guanshiyin Bodhisattva, I still recited it many times
every day, and I feel that I am no longer afraid or over-anxious.
At the end of June, the International Translation Institute announced a ceremony for taking refuge. Although I didn't know what this meant, I still came on time. For the whole morning, we bowed to the Buddhas and did the ceremony for taking refuge, but I still wasn't very clear about what was going on. However, after I came home, that very night on the dining table, I saw chunks of chopped up chicken bleeding and struggling. Ever since that terrifying scene, I have not had the heart to take a bite of any meat.
In early August, my husband went to the City and stayed for two weeks. His change was a miracle: he stopped eating meat right away, took refuge, and received the precepts.
Afterwards, whenever we face problems and deal with things, there seems always to be an invisible teacher who cuts in at the right time to teach us that the practice of the six great principles—no fighting, no greed, no seeking, no selfishness, no self-benefiting, and no lying—has to be right then and there. Gradually, those matters which once seemed fatally important are now trivialities. The children have benefited most directly and invisibly. Now that the parents are in a harmonious relationship, they are also happy and free of worries. Indeed, now the whole family often goes to the City together. With ever-increasing gratitude for all these responses, I can only humbly bow to the Master again and again.
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