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沙彌尼恆藍法師，兩年多前來到萬佛聖城修行、學習。目前她正在努力背戒、學戒。以下是她的自述，告訴我們有關她發心出家的因緣。
一九八二年我便接觸基督教，但未曾受洗。一九八七年，父親因患癌症住院治療。當時，父親有一位朋友是虔誠的基督徒，他教我們每天向上帝禱告，為父親祈福，我便試試看。在當晚，我於睡夢中，忽然被一團黑暗的東西繞於頂上，似颳狂風般的在我頂上旋轉不停，於是我驚醒過來，四肢如被束縛，全身無力，喊不出一句話。我微微張開眼睛，看到父親和姐姐，卻喊不出聲，我便在心中吶喊「耶穌基督！耶穌基督！」過了幾分鐘之後，那團東西就從窗口逃出去，此時我便相信真有耶穌基督。
父親病前，我曾到教會參與活動，聽聖歌，看《聖經》，但未深入了解。後來有一段時間，我沒再去教會，但卻有別的教會寄《福音月刊》給我。我曾寫信去問問題，但所得之答案，並不是我所想要的。因此我開始懷疑，為何牧師的回答不能令我滿意，是否有能真正回答那些問題的宗教呢？
父親病逝的前兩個星期，在一個很巧的機緣下，姊姊為了要妥當處理父親的善後問題，特別打電話到一所佛寺，請教法師如何處理喪事，如何讓父親於臨命終前不恐懼。法師要姊姊親到佛寺與其面談，法師很詳細，很有耐心的開導，並囑咐姊姊如何照顧臨命終人。那天，姊帶回了一部《阿彌陀經》，一卷彌陀聖號錄音帶，一串念珠，一件「陀羅尼被」。在醫院裡，我和姊姊利用閒暇時間念《阿彌陀經》給父親聽，並於平時放聖號錄音帶給父親聽，對父親說：「爸，你一定要跟著阿彌陀佛走，到西方極樂世界。」當時我對佛法一點概念也沒有，完全依照法師的指導去做，竭盡我們所能來照顧父親。
父親臨終那天清晨，我們都很驚訝，因為父親不知何時即停止呼吸。我們急急忙忙地準備善後，並把經被蓋住父親全身。當父親被推到殯儀館時，我和姊一路在父親身邊跟著，到了殯儀館，我們一直跪在父親身邊念佛。在念佛當中，我們聞到檀香味，弟和姊看到一道很柔和的光照在父親身上，「陀羅尼被」亦輕輕地震動，猶如海面的微波。這一幕令我生了極大的信心，也讓我尋到我所要信仰的宗教。
一九八八年師父到台灣弘法，當我聽到師父講的法，深覺與一般法師大不同。當我看到師父時，就好像是看到自己的父親一樣，心裡有說不出的感動，當時，我也立下了跟隨上人修行的心願。
一九八九年初，我辭去工作，亦放棄攻讀大學的計劃，而遠赴正法佛學院報到，並住在佛學院學習佛法。佛學院的課程排得不錯，我非常歡喜。每日在佛法薰陶中獲益很多。尤其學習《楞嚴經》更開啟了我的智慧。當研讀至「佛問阿難。見何勝相。而發心出家」的那一段經文，我親體這經中文之深重意義，並許下出家修行的願。
目前佛教正崛起於西方國家，很多西方人對佛教還未有正確的認識，亦不瞭解佛陀之大慈、大悲、大喜、大捨，他們只看到佛教外表的宗教色彩，但並不了解佛教教義。因此，我希望自己能從生活中老實地修行，真正了解佛陀所修的行，所說的法，並加強語文表達能力。讓西方人有更多的機緣聽聞佛法，讀誦經典，得到精神上真正的解脫。
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Dhramanerika Heng Lan came to the City of Ten Thousand Buddhas two years ago to cultivate and study the Dharma. At present, she is vigorously memorizing and studying the precepts. The following is her story of how she became a Buddhist nun.
In 1982, I came in contact with Christianity. But I had never been baptized. In 1987, my father stayed in the hospital for six months because of cancer. A Christian friend of my father suggested that we pray to God everyday to receive blessings for my father. I took his advice and tried. That night, while I was asleep, a black tornado-like mass suddenly enveloped my head and kept circling it. I woke up frightened to find myself seemingly weak and bound up, and not a single word could come out my throat. I opened my eyes a little and saw both my father and older sister asleep. I tried to wake my sister up but could not utter a sound. Then I quickly mentally recited "Jesus Christ", over and over. A few minutes later, the black mass escaped through the window. From then on, I really believed that Jesus Christ exists.
Before my father's sickness, I had joined some activities in a church, listening to the Psalms and reading the Bible too. But I never tried to study the religion in depth. Finally I stopped going to that church. Still, I received some newsletters sent by other churches. I wrote them, asking questions, but none of their answers satisfied me. So I started to wonder if there were any other religions that could answer those questions that the Christian Fathers could not?
Two weeks before my father's death, on a very special condition, my sister called up a Buddhist monastery to ask about how to arrange the funeral affairs and let my father be free from the fear of death. They asked my sister to go there and talk. They patiently instructed her step by step on how to take care of people on their deathbed. That day, my sister brought back a copy of
The Buddha Speaks of Amitabha Buddha Sutra, a string of beads, an Amitabha Buddha recitation tape and a body-covering cloth printed with the symbols of the Dharani Sutra.
In the hospital, we let my father listen to the tape and read the Sutra to him if we had the time. We told him,"Dad, you ought to follow Amitabha Buddha to the Land of Ultimate Bliss." At the time, we just did our best to do what we were taught, for we didn't really know anything about Buddhism.
One morning, we were quite surprised to find that my father's breath had already stopped. The doctor came to examine him and announced that my father had already died. We snapped to attention and hurried to make preparations for the funeral. We covered his body with the Dharani Sutra covering cloth, and stayed by his side as he was taken to the funeral parlor. When we got there, we knelt beside our father and kept reciting the Buddha's name. While we were reciting, we smelled chandana incense. My sister and brother also saw a stream of soft light shining on our father's body, and the covering cloth was billowing lightly as waves. This caused my faith to grow deeply, and I knew then that I had found the religion that I sought. In November of 1987, the same year of my father's death, I took refuge with the Triple Jewel. I often visited the monastery to listen to the Buddhadharma.
In 1988, the Venerable Master went to Taiwan to propagate the Dharma. It seems everything was ready for me to accept the Dharma, so I went to the lecture. When I heard what the Venerable Master said, I deeply felt that he is very different from most Dharma Masters. When I saw the Venerable Master, it was just like seeing my own father. I had a feeling that I don't know how to explain. At that time, I made a vow to follow the Venerable Master to cultivate.
Early in 1989, I resigned from my job and gave up my plan to enter college. I went faraway to the Proper Dharma Buddhism Academy to register and I stayed there to study. I liked the courses there because they were arranged very well. The daily studies benefited me a lot. Above all, studying the
Shurangama Sutra principally so much to me. Just like planting a good seed, I had the idea of leaving home and cultivating.
As Buddhism is starting to grow in the West, many people in western countries do not yet have correct views about Buddhism. They don't understand the meanings of great kindness, compassion, joy and renunciation. Although they can see the surface of Buddhism, they do not deeply understand its true meaning. So, I hope that I can honestly cultivate in daily life and truly understand the practices cultivated by the Buddhas and the Dharma spoken by the Buddhas. I also wish to use my language skills to give Westerners more chances to listen to the Dharma and read the Sutras so they can gain the true liberation of the spirit.
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