As a layperson, before encountering
the Buddhadharma, Heng Cheng looked to psychology and philosophy to
explain this phenomenon. This study led her to the Buddha’s teachings
and as she puts it, "The universe started opening up its doors."
What
are the origins of our karma, which Heng Cheng describes as "a brick
wall which I kept smashing into without realizing that the wall was my own
obstructions manifesting in one solid mass." In his commentary on the
Earth Store Sutra the Venerable Master points out:
When
living beings in Jambudvipa generate thoughts, they usually commit
offenses, because most of their thoughts are motivated by greed, desire,
jealousy, obstructions, and arrogance. Proper thoughts respect those who
are better in something than oneself and aid those who are less able.
Because we beings have not resolved to act in this fashion, our thoughts
almost all constitute offenses.
Through
her repentances, Heng Cheng has come to see that part of her particular
mass of karma comes from unfilial acts she committed toward her mother and
siblings. She remembers:
At
age 19 I left my mother's house with all my worldly possessions, much
stored up anger, and a feeling of not belonging anywhere. I left my mother
grappling with my state of confusion along with her helpless feelings of
not knowing what to do. I realize now that I didn't even officially tell
her I was going. Now, some eleven years later I feel ashamed of this past
behavior toward my mother. I also acted on impulse and with hostility
toward my brothers and sister. It is no surprise to me now why I have had
a difficult time getting along with others in school and why I was a
loner.
Now,
as a person who has left the home-life in the orthodox tradition, Heng
Cheng has a chance to repay the kindness of her parents and family in the
most ultimate way, for it is said,
When one child attains the Way,
Seven generations are crossed over.
Seeing
elder men and women as one's former fathers and mothers and all younger
men and women as one's former brothers and sisters is a practice of
expanding the measure of one's heart. As one who practices the Dharmas of
Great Compassion and is mindful of Kuan Yin Bodhisattva, Heng Cheng and
others like her who cultivate the Way at the City of Ten Thousand Buddhas
hope to keep expanding their hearts through the functions of kindness,
compassion, joy, and giving until they can effectively relieve the
sufferings of all living beings.
As
a new novice, Heng Cheng comments:
Thanks
to the Great Compassionate Heart, I have been going through old programs
and gradually breaking down habit patterns one by one. My path has many
large rocks and trees blocking it, and sometimes it takes a long time to
clear just one of them. When I trip and fall along the Way I feel like a
child who has to run home for comfort when she scraps her knee. My
security is in the ever-present light and life of Great Compassion found
here at the City of Ten Thousand Buddhas, which continually refreshes me.
The
source of that light and life is found in personal cultivation of the
Orthodox Dharma. In a day and age when the Proper Dharma is not easy to
meet with, Heng Cheng now has the perfect opportunity to tap that source
in herself and discover her inherent Buddha-nature. |
