一九七四年八月十五日〈朝拜結束前兩天〉

又是一個炎熱、塵土飛揚的日子，路上車水馬龍，到處是載原木的卡車，還有煩惱。我們沿著20號公路進入華盛頓州的小鎮Van Horn。雜貨店和加油站的主人請我們喝冰汽水。當地正進行著許多活動，聽到我們的消息已有幾個月了。孩子們，還有狗到處亂撞。我注意到一個留著鬍子帶著眼鏡的小老頭兒，在加油站走動和孩子們搭話。雖然我覺得他是第一次來這兒，可看他的舉止就好像是每個人的老朋友一樣。他開著白色卡車，拉著一節自製的拖車 ，還有兩條狗要送人。他走到我的面前時我退縮了一下，他問我是否自認佛教徒。我感覺到他是很隨意自在的。

我不知道他是幹什麼的，我回說：「怎麼 ？是......是。」

「你想知道，直截了當地講，佛教了些甚麼嗎？」我不願意說我不想知道，因為那不妥當；我也不願意說我想知道，因為那表示我不曉得佛教了些甚麼。我四下一望，有一小群人在圍觀，這小老頭兒眼裡頑皮地閃著光。

我只好說：「佛教了些甚麼呢？ 」「佛說要慈悲，不應再與周圍人相互爭鬥，可大多數人都不聽。」

我肯定這個小老頭兒能看穿我，可我連忙說：「不聽甚麼？」

他笑了：「不聽佛所教導的，我覺得你還沒有完全被度化。」

他真把我給逼到死角了。「我沒說我十全十美啊！」我只有擋架的份了！他頓了一下，迫近我，逼視著我的眼睛。這時，過去幾週我對恆由發脾氣的景象，在腦海中不斷地浮現了出來。他說： 「佛教導要慈悲，你要慈悲點！ 」

接著他摘下眼鏡，臉向前移到離我面龐一呎左右說：「我不是你的敵人，是你的朋友。你知道有幾個人會跟你講這種話？」

這時我不只尷尬；我完全被擊潰了。我從沒見過他，可是他一眼看透我，好像我是透明的一樣。週圍的人都看著我，我閉著嘴四周啞然無聲。我手足無措只得回到路上繼續拜下去，過後我才意識到這次遭遇的奇妙。那人和上人一樣，刺破我的假面具直捅我的執著。拜的時候我感到慚愧，我很久沒有這種感受了。我對恆由不善的情形太多太多了，多數情況是細微的，但卻是惱人的。我真覺得糟透了。我想起上人的偈頌：

真認自己錯，莫論他人非；
他非即我非，同體名大悲。

我匆匆離開公路到達恆由停車等待的地方。因他沒有見到那位老人，我就把事情跟他講了一下。我們坐下，用新鮮的Skagit河水沖泡了一些檸檬粉。我望著他一一很久我沒這樣看他了，我們會心地笑了。我對這世界看夠了。接著我們起身，繼續拜下去。

註：請參閱「金剛菩提海月刊 」 22期38頁「菩提鏡」專欄之「Mara Buckles at the Knee」一文；
1992年─1993年月刊；法總佛經翻譯委員會出版的 「World Peace Gathering 」一書第9頁。

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Another one of those hot dusty days, heavy traffic, logging trucks, and affliction everywhere. We bowed along Highway 20 into the little town of Van Horn [Washington]. The Olsons, who own the general store and gas station, invited us in for a cool pop. There was a lot of activity around the place; these folks had been hearing about us for months. Kids and dogs were milling around everywhere. At one point, I noticed an old man, short, bearded, and bespectacled, wandering around outside the station. He was talking to the kids, and although I don't think he had ever been there before, he behaved like he was old friends with everyone. He had a white truck with a homemade trailer behind it, and two dogs that he was trying to give away. I was taken aback when he walked up to me and asked me if I called myself a Buddhist. I noticed that he was totally relaxed and centered.

“Why, ahh, ahh, yes," I replied, wondering what he was getting at. "Do you want to hear what the Buddha taught in plain English?" he asked. I didn't want to say no, because that wouldn't be right. And I didn't want to say yes, because that would imply that I didn't already know. I looked around and there was a small crowd gathering. He had a mischievous gleam in his eye.

"What did the Buddha teach?" I finally said.  

"The Buddha taught compassion. The Buddha said that we should stop knocking each other around, but most people don't buy it!"

I was sure this little man could see right through me, but I quickly replied, "Buy what?"

“What the Buddha taught!" laughed the little man. "I don't think you are a complete convert," he said.  

Boy, he was really putting me on the spot! "I didn't say I was perfect," I replied. I had shifted totally into my own defense. The little man paused, and then he moved closer and looked right into my eyes. I was beginning to steadily flash on how angry I had been towards Heng Yo during the last few weeks.

"The Buddha taught compassion. Be more compassionate!" he said. Then he took off his glasses and stuck his face up about twelve inches in front of mine. "I'm not your enemy; I'm your friend. How many people do you know who would talk to you like this?"

By this time I was completely overwhelmed, not to mention embarrassed. I had never seen this guy before, yet he had zeroed right in on my number as if I was transparent. All the people were looking at me. Everything was quiet, and I was absolutely speechless. I didn't know what to do or say, so I went back out on the road and continued bowing. Only afterwards did I begin to realize just how miraculous an encounter it was. Just as the Master had often done, this man was talking right through my false front, directly to my attachments. As I bowed along, I began to feel a sense of shame that I hadn't felt in a long time. I really had been mean to Heng Yo in many, many ways. Most of the time it was very indirect and subtle; nevertheless, it was always very irritating. I felt terrible about it. I recalled a verse that the Master once wrote:

Truly recognize your own faults,
Don't discuss the faults of others.
Others' faults are just your own.
Being one substance with everyone
Is called the Great Compassion.

I scurried down the highway until I reached the spot where Heng Yo was waiting with the cart. He had missed my little encounter with the old man, so I told him what had happened. We sat down and mixed up some lemonade powder with some fresh Skagit River water. I looked at him directly for the first time in a long time. For a short moment, we shared a smile of silent understanding. I felt old, old, old. Then we both got up and continued on.

[See also The Bodhi Mirror, "Mara Buckles at the Knee," Vajra Bodhi Sea #22, p. 38; many 1972-1973 issues of VBS; World Peace Gathering, Buddhist Text Translation Society]  

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