闻

过

怒

，

闻

誉

喜

wen

guo

nu

wen

yu

xi

听到

过错

生气

听到

赞美

欢喜

hearing

faults

to get angry

hearing

praise

to be happy

假如听到别人说自己的过错就生气，听到别人对自己赞美就欢喜。
If we are angry when told of our faults, and happy when praise comes our way.

损

友

来

，

益

友

却

sun

you

lai

yi

you

que

有害的

朋友

来到

有益

朋友

退开

harmful

friends

to come

beneficial

friends

to depart

那么坏的朋友就会包围上来，好的朋友就会远远离去。
Then harmful friends will draw near us, and wholesome friends will depart.

闻

誉

恐

，

闻

过

欣

wen

yu

kong

wen

guo

xin

听到

赞美

恐慌

听到

过错

高兴

hearing

praise

to be anxious

hearing

faults

to delight

假如听到别人的赞美就惶恐，听到别人的批评就高兴。
If compliments make us uneasy, and we are glad when our faults are brought up.

直

谅

士

，

渐

相

亲

zhi

liang

shi

jian

xiang

qin

正直

诚信

知识份子

渐渐

前来

亲近

upright

honest

a gentleman or learned person

gradually

come forward

to draw near

那么正直诚信的有识之士，就会渐渐地前来亲近。
Honest and straightforward friends then gradually come to our side.

孔子在去世以前，就对曾参分析说：“我死了之后，子夏会一直进步，子贡会一直退步。”曾子奇怪地问：“为什么呢？”孔子说：“子夏喜欢和比自己强的人在一起；子贡则喜欢处身在一群不如自己的人之间，好大发议论。我听说：想了解一个人，可以从他的父亲、朋友来观察；想了解一个君王，可以从他委派的使者来观察；想了解一块土地的性质，可以从生长的草木来观察。

Before his death, Confucius said to his disciple Zeng Seng, "After I die, Zi Xia will keep making progress, but Zi Gong will keep regressing." Zeng Seng thought this strange and asked, "Why will that be?" Confucius replied, "Zi Xia likes to be around people who are better than he is, while Zi Gong likes to be surrounded by people who are not as good as he is so that he can always express his own opinions. I have heard it said that one can understand a person by observing his parents and friends; one can understand a ruler by observing the people he appoints, one can evaluate a piece of land by seeing what vegetation grows on it.

所以说：‘跟好人在一起，像走入种植兰花的花房一样，久了就感觉不到香气；与不好的人相处，就像跑到鱼市场一样，久了也就感觉不到腥臭。’这是因为我们在无形中已受其感染，于是乎对周遭的环境不知不觉了！跟红颜料放在一起的东西会染红，跟黑漆摆在一起的东西会变黑，所以君子对身边相处的人，一定会慎重地加以选择。”这故事的意思，不只是告诫我们要慎交游，尤其是明明白白地指出：自己是个怎样的人，就会招致怎样的朋友。所谓“龙交龙，凤交凤，老鼠的儿子会打洞。”就是这个意思。

 Therefore it is said, "Associating with virtuous people is like entering a greenhouse full of orchids and getting used to the fragrance until you no longer notice it. Being around unwholesome people is like going into a fish market and getting used to the stench so that you don't notice it." Imperceptibly, we are influenced by our surroundings until we no longer notice them. Objects that are placed in red dye become red; things dipped in black paint turn black. Therefore, a superior person is careful in choosing the people with whom he associates. "Confucius' meaning is not only that we should be careful about our associations, but also we attract people of like character to be our friends. There's another saying, "Dragons like to be with dragons, phoenixes prefer the company of phoenixes, and the sons of mice know how to make holes." That's the meaning here.

三国时代诸葛亮的〈前出师表〉，是一篇感人至深的文章，在中国历史上、文学上，都有其不容忽视的地位。这篇〈出师表〉，完成于诸葛亮病死军中的前七年。刘备去世后，诸葛亮继续辅佐其子后主刘禅，经过五年的整治，内政已定，诸葛亮觉得可以亲自率兵出征了；临行，终究是放心不下后主，就上了这篇疏。“出师表”通篇重点，都是在勉励后主“不宜妄自菲薄，引喻失义，以塞忠谏之路。”并引历史为证，告诫后主；先汉之所以兴隆，是因为“亲贤臣，远小人”；后汉之所以倾颓，是因为“亲小人，远贤臣”。末了，他又一再殷殷盼望后主“亦宜自课，以谘诹善道，察纳雅言”。

During the Three Kingdoms Period, the military strategist Zhu-ge Liang wrote a profoundly inspiring memorial to the emperor before he departed on a military expedition; this is a text of undeniable importance in Chinese history and literature. This memorial was completed seven years before Zhu-ge Liang died of illness while serving the military, After the death of Emperor Liu Bei, Zhu-ge Liang continued to support his son, Emperor Liu Chan. In five years the government was stabilized, and Zhu-ge Liang felt he could now personally lead the army on an expedition. However, right before his departure, he was still worried about Emperor Liu Chan and wrote this memorial. The text basically urged the emperor, "Do not take yourself lightly and recklessly say things that will make others lose faith in you, which will discourage their faithful exhortations." The memorial mentions the following case from the Book of History to caution the emperor: The Former Han Dynasty flourished because the rulers "associated with worthy officials and stayed away from petty individuals." The Later Han Dynasty declined because the rulers "associated with petty people and stayed away from worthy officials." At the end of the memorial, Zhu-ge Liang again exhorted the emperor, "You should reflect well, so that you will be able to seek wholesome principles and to determine and accept good advice."

这意思和前面所说的“不宜妄自菲薄”是一样的，都是希望后主不要看轻自己，就随随便便地引用一些不合道理的例子，胡说八道，以致于令人不敢进言；唯有自己多多考察，来访寻谋求好的道理，明察接纳忠臣们正当的劝告，才能得贤人拥护，光大祖业。句句出自肺腑，言之谆谆，可惜后主终究是个“扶不起的阿斗”；阿斗是刘禅的小名，诸葛亮死后，他就忘了告诫，尽和一班弄臣谀臣鬼混，终至亡国。

 The meaning is the same as the line, "Do not take yourself lightly and recklessly say things that will make others lose faith in you, which will discourage their faithful exhortations." Zhu-ge Liang hoped the emperor would not casually speak in an unprincipled way that would make others afraid to exhort him, but would instead reflect carefully in order to seek out good principles and look into and accept the exhortations of loyal officials. Then he would win the support of worthy people and bring glory to his ancestors' legacy. Zhu-ge Liang's advice was earnest and came from his heart. Regretfully, the emperor was still the " A’dou who could not stand on his own feet." (A’dou was his nickname). After Zhu-ge Liang's death, the emperor forgot his advice and surrounded himself with flattering courtiers, with the result that the dynasty ended.

一般人总说自己愿意听真话，其实不尽然。因为真话多半平实无奇，甚至不怎么中听。尤其这真话若是在指陈他的过错，那他更会受不了，于是乎阿谀谄媚之辞就产生了！人就把谀辞当真话，陶陶然而不觉，反把规过劝善的真话当做是破坏和毁谤，因而怒不可遏。所以说“物以类聚”，大凡爱听好话的人，招来的也必定是巧言令色，伪善饰非的朋友，专事吹、拍、捧、骗，这就是“损友”；与损友交游，不论是对自己的人格、道德、学问，甚至在实质的金钱事业上，都只有损害而无益处的。反之，一个愿意接受劝诫的人，就会招来益友。

Most people say that they wish to hear the truth, but that isn't really the case. The truth is usually very plain and ordinary, or perhaps not very pleasant to hear. When the truth takes the form of pointing out their faults, people find it unbearable. That's how flattery developed! People love to hear flattery and take it to be the truth, while they are enraged to hear earnest remonstrance and regard it as malicious slander. So it is said, "People gather with their own kind." People who like to hear praise attract hypocritical friends who butter up to them, flatter them, and put them on a pedestal with their smooth lies. These are harmful friends. Associating with harmful friends can only be detrimental to one's character, morality, learning, and even materially to one's wealth and career. Conversely, one who is able to accept exhortations will attract beneficial friends.

那益友的标准又是什么呢？“友直、友谅、友多闻”是也，也就是说要交往正直、信实，又能规过劝善的善知识。善知识不是呼之即来，挥之即去的；我们若不能先自律自爱，怎能得到肝胆相照的善知识常相左右？有善知识常相左右，不但自己也成为正直信实的人，在道德、学问、事业各方面，也必定日日增上。那时，真是“与诸上善人聚会一处”了！岂不美哉快哉?

What are the criteria for a beneficial friend? A beneficial friend is "a friend who is straightforward, forgiving, and erudite." That is, he is a good mentor who is straightforward and reliable in his dealings, and who is able to exhort others to change their faults. A good mentor is not that easy to come by. If you do not first discipline yourself and have self-respect, how can you expect to have a good mentor who will constantly be around and with whom you can have heart-to-heart talks? If such a good mentor is always present, you will not only become straightforward and trustworthy yourself, but will also advance in your moral virtue, your knowledge, and your career as well. That would truly be a case of "gathering together with people of superior virtue" [Amitabha Sutra]. How happy and wonderful that would be!

其实，他人的建议，也不一定常是不中听的话，有时还真会让人有出人意表的收获呢！像美国第十六任总统林肯，谁都会对他一脸的胡子印象很深刻吧？你可知是谁建议林肯留的胡子？这是一个很有趣的小故事。

In reality, other people's suggestions may not be all that un- pleasant to hear, and they sometimes bring unexpected results. Everyone is familiar with Abraham Lincoln, the Sixteenth U.S. President who sported a full beard. Do you know who suggested that he grow a beard? It's quite an amusing anecdote.

当林肯在竞选总统时，有一天他接到一个小女孩的信，信上说：“林肯先生，如果你能留些胡子，一定会使你那瘦长的脸变得好看些。祝你胜利！”林肯接受了建议，把胡子留起来；没想到这个新形象居然大受欢迎，成了林肯的“注册商标。”林肯当选总统之后，在赴白宫就职的途中，特地在这小女孩住的城市停下，发表演说。演说完毕，林肯在人山人海中，把小女孩请出来，并温柔地对她说：“谢谢你的劝告。你看！我现在已经有了胡子了！”并用那有胡子的嘴，亲了一下小女孩的脸；小女孩高兴得涨红了脸，几乎忘了把带来的鲜花献给林肯。

One day when Lincoln was running for President, he received a letter from a young girl. The letter said, "Mr. Lincoln, if you grew a beard, it would make your long, thin face look better. Hope you win!" Lincoln took the suggestion to heart and let his beard grow. His new appearance was unexpectedly popular and soon became his trademark. After Lincoln was elected, he made a special point of stopping in the little girl's town on his way to the White House. After delivering a speech there, Lincoln invited that little girl to come forward from the crowd and warmly said to her, "Thank you for your suggestion. See? I have a beard now!" Then he gave her a kiss on the face with his bearded mouth. The little girl blushed happily and almost forgot to give Lincoln the bouquet of flowers she had brought.