丧

三

年

，

常

悲

咽

sang

san

nian

chang

bei

ye

守丧

经常地

悲伤地

哽咽

during the mourning period

three

year

always

with grief

to sob

为父母亲守丧三年，经常哀恸饮泣；
During the three-year mourning period for one is deceased parents, one should constantly think of them with sorrow.

居

处

变

，

酒

肉

绝

ju

chu

bian

jiu

rou

jue

平时的起居

举止动作

改变

饮酒

食肉

断绝

dwelling

doings

to be changed

drinking wine

eating meat

to be discontinued

起居作息的方式改变，宴饮食肉的活动戒止。
One should change one’s usual ways of dwelling and doing things, and refrain from consuming alcohol and meat.

丧

尽

礼

，

祭

尽

诚

sang

jin

li

ji

jin

cheng

办理丧事

完全做到

合乎礼节

祭祀

完全做到

有诚心

to arrange funeral affairs

to exhaust one is effort

to accord with the rites

to make offerings

to the utmost

to be sincere

办理丧事要合乎礼节，进行祭典要出自至诚；
Make sure that the funeral arrangements accord with the rites, and whole-heartedly make offerings on their behalf.

事

死

者

，

如

事

生

shi

si

zhe

ru

shi

sheng

事奉

去世的

的（人）

好像

事奉

活着的人

to serve

dead

one

as if

to serve

living one

敬事去世的祖先，一如祖先在世的时候。
One should respectfully serve one’s departed ancestors as if they were still alive.

在中国古时候，父母去世了，做子女的有三年守孝的礼节。在这三年之中，做子女的必须深居简出，平日的物质享受，如豪华舒适的住所、美味讲究的饮食，或者柔软华丽的衣饰等，统统要改变过来；精神上的享受，如音乐舞蹈的观赏操演，或晏饮聚会、团游围猎等活动，也统统要禁止。

In ancient China, people observed a three-year mourning period after their parents' passing, during which they lived in seclusion and hardly ever went out. They restrained themselves from enjoying such comforts as a luxurious dwelling, fine food, and soft and beautiful garments, and also abstained from pleasures of the spirit, such as watching or taking part in musical or dance performances, banquets, parties, trips, hunts, and so on.

这种丧礼，是上自天子，下至平民，都没能例外的。因此就有守礼的天子，在三年中不视朝，把政事委交大臣去处理，自己穿着粗麻布衣，吃粗饭淡菜，独居深宫，不亲后妃，不近园池；甚至不理须发，除非必要，连话也不说。这不消说，赢得不少圣人的赞叹。至于做官服公职的，通常会回乡守制三年，以现代话来说，就是为了在家守孝，而申请留职停薪。那一般老百姓呢？当然也就在家守着，不出去工作了！有极孝顺的，还索性在墓旁搭个茅屋住，那就叫“庐墓 ”。

The rites of mourning applied to everyone from the emperor down to the common citizens. Some emperors went into mourning and stayed away from the court for three years, leaving the government to their ministers. They secluded themselves in the palace, wore coarse garments, and ate bland food. They didn't visit their concubines or enter their gardens or ponds. They didn't shave or cut their hair, and did not talk unless it was absolutely necessary. Such behavior won the praise of sages. Other public officials also returned to their villages for three years' mourning. In modern terms, it would be equivalent to taking a leave of absence to go home. Ordinary people observed mourning by staying at home and not going to work. Those who were especially filial even built huts by the graveside of their parents and dwelt there.

为什么要这样约束呢？当年孔子的学生宰予就曾对孔子说：“父母去世守三年丧，其实一年都已够久了！如果全国的人都三年不习礼，不习乐，这样会礼崩乐坏的。况且物换星移也是一年一度，我认为一年也就够了！”孔子就问他：“父母才死一年，穿好的，吃好的，在你能心安吗？”宰予也不矫揉做作，很坦白地回答：“能安！”孔老夫子没奈何，只好说：“你若能心安，就这么做！有道的君子在居丧期间，内心充满哀伤，虽有美食，食之不甘；虽有嘉乐，闻之不乐；一切日常起居，都不觉安适，所以才不愿意享乐。现在你既然心安，就这么去做去吧！”

Why did they restrain themselves in this way? Confucius was once asked by his disciple Zai Yu, "Why is there a three-year mourning period for parents? Isn't one year long enough? If every person in the country stops practicing the rites and performing music for three years, won't the rites and the music perish? All things, including the seasons, follow a yearly cycle; therefore, I think one year is enough," Confucius asked him, "Would you feel comfortable wearing nice clothes and eating fine food only one year after your parents died?" Zai Yu answered frankly, "Sure, I'd be comfortable." All Confucius could say was, "If you would feel comfortable, then just go ahead. When a person of true virtue mourns, he is so filled with grief that even if he eats fine food, he does not taste it; even if he hears fine music, it does not make him happy. In all the affairs of daily life, he feels no comfort or ease. That's why he has no inclination to indulge in pleasure. If you feel comfortable, go ahead and have your way." 

等宰予走后，孔子就评论说：“宰予真是不仁啊！子女生下来，至少也得经过三年，才能离开父母的怀抱。守三年丧，是天下通行的丧礼啊！宰予这人，对他父母有过三年的爱慕吗？”

After Zai Yu left, Confucius said, "Zai Yu is truly lacking in humaneness. After a child is born, it cannot leave its parents' embrace for at least three years. Three years is the standard time of mourning for the whole country. I wonder whether Zai Yu loved his parents for three years."

这意思是说，礼本来就是依据多数人人情的趋向，来制订出一套配合的程序，以方便每个人遵循，使上下不乱，并不是用虚文来限制人自由的。远古的人心比较单纯厚道，父慈子孝的天性，几乎是无时不刻地自然流露；所以在父母死后，当然是寝食难安了！说真的，“父母之恩，昊天罔极”，就一辈子思慕也不为过。

The rites were set down according to the sentimental inclinations of the majority of the people, so that everyone would be able to uphold them and order could be maintained in society; they are not empty rules imposed upon people to restrain their freedom. In ancient times, people were more simple and kind-hearted. The instinct for parents to be kind and children to be filial was ever present. Therefore, when their parents passed away, it was natural for people to lose their appetite and have trouble sleeping. Truly, "the kindness of our parents is vaster than the heavens," and a lifetime of yearning for them would not be too much.

但人生在世，有应尽的义务和责任，不能离群索居，永远沉湎在哀痛里，这是不合乎中道的；而一年之丧，又意有未尽。怎么办呢？就两者择其中，定个三年，也算对父母头三年推乾就湿，乳养提携的辛劳，稍稍地回报罢了！这是为什么定三年的丧期。

However we all have duties and responsibilities to fulfill in life, so we cannot withdraw from the world and indulge in mourning forever--that would not be the Middle Way. On the other hand, one year didn't seem to be enough for mourning, so what could be done? As a compromise between the two, the period of three years was set as a token of repaying our parents for their toil in rearing us for the first three years of our lives.

等三年的丧期满了，就应该节制自己的哀伤，恢复正常的生活。所以，当年孔子的学生子路，为他唯一的姐姐守完丧期后，还不忍除下丧服，孔子就告诫他：“你以为只有你才不忍心是不是？就路上可见的每个人，谁都是不忍心除下丧服的啊！可是先王制礼 ，本就为让情感超过的人加以节制，让悲痛不够的人，能藉形式规定来改变自己。”由此可知，礼本是为了节制人情 ，使人在一个合理的范围内 ，得到舒展情感的机会，并不在束缚人的手脚。

Once the three years are over, one should restrain one's grief and return to a normal lifestyle. When Confucius' disciple Zi Lu felt reluctant to take off his mourning garb after completing the period of mourning for his sister, Confucius admonished him, "You think you're the only one who feels reluctant? Of all the people you meet on the road, who wouldn't be reluctant to take off the mourning garments? But the reason the ancient kings set forth the rites was to help those who are overly emotional to restrain their emotions, and those who are not sufficiently mournful to transform themselves through the rites." From this, we can see that the purpose of the rites is to help us restrain our emotions and express them within reason-able limits; it is not to deprive us of freedom. The rites are based upon principle and reason.

“礼者，理也”，倘若你有很足够的理由 ，譬如赚钱养家、从军服役或重大公务等，不能做到丧礼所要求的，是没有人会责备你“ 从权”的。礼以真诚为本，假若只拘泥于形式，而没有诚心，就算守足三年的丧，又有什么意义？还不如宰予来得坦白不造作。事实上，形式本是为多数人而设，当然也可以为多数人而改。今日的时代与社会，在经历了这么大的变迁之后，古人所定的礼仪当然可以不同，但是原则却是不可移易的。

If you have good reason for not being able to carry out the rites of mourning, such as needing to earn money to support the family, being drafted into the military, or being involved in important public affairs, no one will blame you for being expedient. The rites are based on sincerity; if one were to concentrate only on external appearances and not have any real sincerity, then even if one observed the three-year mourning period, what meaning would it have? In that case Zai Yu's frank and unpretentious manner would be preferable. Actually, since the external formalities were designed for majority of the people, they can certainly be altered by the majority. The present age and society is so different from ancient times, that of course, our rules of etiquette will be different from those followed by the ancients; however, the principle behind them unchangeable.

什么原则呢？就是尽诚。不唯丧礼如此，葬礼、祭礼，亦复如此。古人说：“大孝终身慕父母。”就是说，孝敬之心是生死如一的。世间人有不少在父母生前悭吝不孝，却在父母的葬礼上，大事挥霍，或者雇请“职业孝子”代哭，又或大办酒肉筵席，歌舞助阵；这等虚伪无聊的举动，可耻亦复可怜！

What is the principle? It is that of utmost sincerity. This is true not only of the rites of mourning, but also of the rites of burial and worship of the deceased. The ancients said, "One who is greatly filial thinks longingly of his parents for his or her whole life. " That is to say， the thought of filial respect is the same whether one's parents are alive or deceased. Some people are mean and not filial when their parents are living, and after their parents die, they may hold a grand funeral, perhaps hiring a professional "filial son" to cry in their stead, or perhaps having a great banquet with music and entertainment. Such hypocritical acts are both disgraceful and pitiful.

子路曾感叹说：“人贫穷真是悲哀！父母在生时，无法好好奉养；死了，又无法好好办丧事。”孔子就安慰他说：“如果能尽心尽力，就算嚼菜根，喝白开水，也能让父母开心；谁说不能尽孝？就算没钱买棺木，只能用草席包住遗体，不使暴露，也能合于礼法；谁说不能尽孝？那贫穷又有什么关系？”

Zi Lu once lamented, "How miserable it is to be poor. One cannot support one's parents well when they are alive, and one cannot give them a good funeral after they die." Confucius consoled him, "As long as you do your best, even if you can only serve vegetable roots and plain water at the funeral, your parents will be happy. Who says you can't fulfill your filial duties? Even if you can't afford a coffin, if you can wrap the body with a straw mat so it won't be exposed, this is in accord with the rites. Who says you can't be filial? What does it matter if you are poor?"

所以孔子对丧祭之礼的看法是：第一，要依照自己的身份地位，并配合家庭经济状况，毋过与不及；也就是尽礼，合乎礼仪。第二，要存真正的哀伤之情和敬意；也就是尽诚，出乎至诚。

Confucius' view toward the rites of mourning and worship of the deceased was: first, if one performs them according to one's status and financial situation, neither going overboard nor doing too little, then one is in accord with the rites. Secondly, one should genuinely feel sorrow and respect, which is to say, one should have the utmost sincerity.